Mummy_Helen
Silver Member
I have this friend who is doing SW by herself because she can't afford to go to classes. She doesn't live near me but we meet up once a month or so. She started SW after seeing how well I was doing, and at first I was elated to have someone to share stories with, and recipes and general things I had learned.
However... It seems now, she only ever calls when she wants something. Which seems to be about every other day. She'll call about syn values, or HE's or whether something is a free food or not. She doesn't have internet access so can't even use an outlet like MiniMins to find out these things. While I want to be supportive of my friend losing weight, I'm beginning to feel like an unpaid (and unqualified for that matter) consultant to her.
I pay my class fee's, and yet she's getting it all for free and it's starting to annoy me. I really don't mind helping out, but not to this degree. I can't say I don't know the answer because she knows I have access to the website and class and have books.
How can I tell her politely that I'm more than prepared to support her, but not CARRY her? I even tried not answering the phone when it came up with her number, but she just texted me with her questions.
I offered to let her use my comp to buy herself some books off ebay so she'd have some of the info at hand, but she said it was too expensive on ebay for something I already have.
I should mention that she is a good friend, not just an aquaintance, and I don't want to upset her, but I also worry that if I just out and out tell her that she's on her own, it will be demoralising for her and she may even give up. But at the same time, I don't want every conversation we have to be "Hey how are you... ok go get your book, I want to know....".
I hope I don't come across as heartless or not supportive of another 'loser' (I love being a loser btw ). I just don't feel it's right for me to have the priviledge of all this info, and someone else getting it for nothing. That and the fact it takes about 45 minutes out of that night for the phone call, which, doesn't seem to have any other point than to talk SW stuff.
How do I tread carefully but get the point across?
However... It seems now, she only ever calls when she wants something. Which seems to be about every other day. She'll call about syn values, or HE's or whether something is a free food or not. She doesn't have internet access so can't even use an outlet like MiniMins to find out these things. While I want to be supportive of my friend losing weight, I'm beginning to feel like an unpaid (and unqualified for that matter) consultant to her.
I pay my class fee's, and yet she's getting it all for free and it's starting to annoy me. I really don't mind helping out, but not to this degree. I can't say I don't know the answer because she knows I have access to the website and class and have books.
How can I tell her politely that I'm more than prepared to support her, but not CARRY her? I even tried not answering the phone when it came up with her number, but she just texted me with her questions.
I offered to let her use my comp to buy herself some books off ebay so she'd have some of the info at hand, but she said it was too expensive on ebay for something I already have.
I should mention that she is a good friend, not just an aquaintance, and I don't want to upset her, but I also worry that if I just out and out tell her that she's on her own, it will be demoralising for her and she may even give up. But at the same time, I don't want every conversation we have to be "Hey how are you... ok go get your book, I want to know....".
I hope I don't come across as heartless or not supportive of another 'loser' (I love being a loser btw ). I just don't feel it's right for me to have the priviledge of all this info, and someone else getting it for nothing. That and the fact it takes about 45 minutes out of that night for the phone call, which, doesn't seem to have any other point than to talk SW stuff.
How do I tread carefully but get the point across?