waiting for me to fail!

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by jules78, 19 March 2009 Social URL.

  1. jules78

    jules78 Member

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    Been on ss for 3 wks now,which i`m very proud of.My husband is really supportive of me but i find my mother just thinks its all a big joke.I have always been bigger than my mum,something she likes to point out frequently.I have lost 22 lbs now,i have had so many people remark on my weightloss but so far my mother has only said that my boobs look smaller!I only see her a couple of times a week,and the first thing she asks is if i`m on the diet still.Never saids well done on losses on how slimmer i look already.Its like she is waiting for me to fail,like i have done before.Has anyone had a family member or good friend be like this?I find it a bit upsetting.
     
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  3. iwant2bslim

    iwant2bslim Full Member

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    Your mum is jealous and probably feels worried and threatened that you will leave her behind, shes obviiously insecure about her own weight and as you have been bigger has probably been using that as an excuse to not tackle her own issues with food and weightloss, suddenly she may be the bigger 1! Everyone has diet saboteurs and that is what your mum is. You need to realise that she loves you and probably feels horrible for making you feel bad, you cant let it make you slip hun, im pretty sure as soon as youve got where you want to be your mum will be asking for your cdc's number!
    Try talking to her about how she makes you feel if that doesnt work just keep ignoring it.
    And anyway well done you 3 weeks ansd 22Ib brilliant!!!! Focus on how much that has improved your health!
    I am restarting at weekend and am scared!! Been ill on painkillers so unable to ss but ready to go again now!
    Good luck stay strong Love n hugs xxx
     
  4. lighterby3stone

    lighterby3stone Full Member

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    Hi Jules, I've just registered and I'm shocked by your post. I understand why you're upset but please don't let it get you down.

    If someone tries to knock you down, then prove them wrong by making your resovle to succeed stronger, show them they are wrong by succeeding.

    However, you should be doing this for yourself and no one else. Congrats on the 22lb loss - that is fantastic!
     
  5. Purple Hugs

    Purple Hugs Loves weight.. training!

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    I am sorry to read this, and can totally empathise with you. ((hugs)) The distress is there to read, I just wish it was that easy to point out to your mum.

    There is a lot of facts about mum n' daughter relationships and how hard they can be sometimes ((Hugs)) you're not alone.

    My own relationship around food was formed by my mum, she never supported me later in life in diets, and often would go shopping for my 'favourites' read into this the favourite foods she'd buy for me as a child.

    I think the biggest thing here, is that you don't have to see her for long and are in charge of your own life now. You ARE losing weight and doing really well and should be proud. If your mum for whatever reason cannot express this to you then that truly is her problem. Don't let it become yours.

    I have always been bigger than my sister and although we live miles apart (600) she is of no support either, doesn't even remember i'm on a diet. I guess sometimes we just don't get the support we need from the people that SHOULD give it.

    Good luck with staying strong! :) You have a supportive hubby and that is your 'chosen' partner in life. :) ((Hugs))
     
  6. maggielou

    maggielou Full Member

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    Wow 22 llbs. that is fantastic. Don't let you mum get you down. You are the most important person in this... you and your health and all the benefits that go with it.
    I do think that your mum is a bit jealous. Stay with it gal!!:wave_cry:
     
  7. Leahtm

    Leahtm Full Member

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    Hi Jules

    I know what you mean completely, my mum and sister are like that, they just think its another phase and I'll be off again soon! They are both slim at a 10/12 so I have always been bigger (18)!

    I think the only thing we can do is prove them wrong and when we are slim they will be eating their words!!

    Good luck hun Le xx
     
  8. charliegirl

    charliegirl Silver Member

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    Yes a long while ago my elder sister and her husband used to take great delight is laughing at me and calling me "fat ar$e" despite knowing I was seeing a dietician to help me loose weight. I may add at this time I was a size 16 and my sister was at least a size 26....she turned up one day with a bag full of second hand size 24 clothes for me...to "its time you covered up now" was her comment....we have not spoken since the year before last (thats not the whole story but the straw that broke the camels back) and hell will freeze before I speak to her again....so yes family members the ones that should be loving and caring to us can feel extremely threatened by us, especially when we get off our bums and try to do something about it....the problem is with your mum you carry on chick and do it for you...xx
     
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  9. Flubber68

    Flubber68 Full Member

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    Sorry you don't feel supported by your mother, it's very hurtful isn't it. Unfortunately the relationship between many mothers & their children is complex and it sounds as though your mother has some deep seated issues of her own.
    When she doesn't say positive things try to remember that there is a reason inside HER that prevents her being proud and encouraging it is not YOU. Perhaps it might help to reduce how often you see her while you are doing this? Would you see a negative friend 2x/week? I certainly wouldn't! But my mother....now that's a different story :)
    Keep going 3 weeks and 22lbs are fantastic achievements :D
     
  10. Purple Hugs

    Purple Hugs Loves weight.. training!

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    ((hugs)) to charliegirl and Flubber.. you have a good point about not seeing a negative friend. :)
     
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  11. jules78

    jules78 Member

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    Thanks guys,its good to know i`m not alone when it comes to unsupportive family members.Try not to get to down about it ,but i often feel wound up after her visits.Can`t see her less,because my 3 children enjoy her coming round.Glad to say i`m not like her because when my sister lost weight last year,i would tell her she looked great.My mum carries a little weight,she is about 11 stone.She has really slim wrists and fingers and always points out that i don`t get my big bones from her!Perhaps she is insecure about herself,but we don`t have that kind of relationship to talk about it.Hopefully she will have some better comments to make as i make my way towards my goal!I think there will be someone like this in everyones relationships.
     
  12. Eileen

    Eileen likes posting.

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    good luck Jules you are doing fantastic,pity about your mum, but at least your oh is supporting you.
     
  13. Lin18

    Lin18 Silver Member

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    Hi Jules, i can releate completely to your situation, i just turn it to my advantage i will get to my goal weight not matter what anybody has to say the CD is all about me, my health and my future, hopefuly in time they will see the results and start to see CD as a possitive for you and see how much it means to you to be healthier. Good luck x

    Lin
     
  14. MsJMC

    MsJMC Strong women stay slim

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    Yes I have from my mum alot , she says you not still on that silly diet , then when I do break off at times she is over the moon huh , she says its not good for you and all that , i think nor is being over weight . I think its best to tell them what they want to hear and if they offer food says i'll have something later , they still think we are kids
     
  15. polishrose

    polishrose Gold Member

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    My family aren't supportive either-they think it's a silly diet despite me losing 6 stome 3 years ago.My OH isn't suportive either.Luckily I have some friends who are :)Plus all the lovely people on here :)
     
  16. jules78

    jules78 Member

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    polishrose,sorry none of your family are not supportive.Its a shame because you are just trying to be healthier and feel and look better.I too come on here for added support,because this diet sometimes makes you feel like your alone.I can just bore you lot with my problems and frustrations!
     
  17. crazylilblondie

    crazylilblondie Pizza addict

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    Anyone who slags off someone elses weightloss are clearly insecure and jealous. there is no other reason for it!
     
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  19. Lin18

    Lin18 Silver Member

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    I must say that although i dont post much on the forum i read it al the time, the support for everyone is brilliant and just reading them gives me a boost, even if at home there is alot of negativity on here its sooo the opposite, just what we all need.

    Lin
     
  20. jules78

    jules78 Member

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    I get negative remarks from a girl at work,she said she knows someone who done the diet and her hair fell out!She is a girl who is much larger than me and is in and out of slimming clubs.She keeps looking me up and down as i`m loosing the weight.Why can`t people be happy for you,i certainly would congratulate someone if they lose weight!
     
  21. mollydog

    mollydog Silver Member

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    As the others said its all about their insecurities and jealousy. You've done a fab job so far so prove them all wrong and get to goal.
    I started last year at the end of Feb and by my daughters birthday at beginning of April i had lost 2 stone. My family didnt say anything. I hadnt told them i was doing it as i didnt want the extra pressure but by 2 stone off, them not noticing was getting to me. Eventually OH spoke to my mum who told him she hadnt wanted to upset me - yes that puzzled me too.
    My dad had been desperate to compliment me for ages but mum had said just leave it so once she had broken the ice, he always had something nice to say. We are a close family so it all sorted quickly but my mother lives on another planet when it comes to things like this.
    Anyway,just want to say to all of you with difficult relatives, hang on in there and show them you are made of stronger stuff.
     
  22. Oinkstop

    Oinkstop Full Member

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    I'm sorry that your mother isn't more supportive. This is the main reason why I haven't told any of my family members I'm on a diet. I make it a practice to try to avoid meeting them during eating times, and if I can't do that, then I just eat food and try to make decent choices.

    At any rate, you should be proud of what you have accomplished so far. Keep up the good work, and don't let the nay-sayers hold you back!
     
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