what do u wish for the old u or the new u?

[rach1987]

hi there i thought id start a thread on weather u wish for the old u to return after losing weight of a new u to form?

i forever seem to wish for the old me to return, when i was slimmer i was more confident not much more but at least i was confident
, for the old me to shine the happy go lucky, felt fab, well a little but as i said alot more than i do now. i wish in a way i could find the more confident me, and to let myself go. im that low in confidence not even my hubby of 3 years has seen we 100% naked, i alway try to be someone im not . i also wish in a way i could find the more confident me that doesnt care what people think, or say.which person do i want to be i dont know but god i need to find her and fast!!!! so thats me or is it lol xxxxx

 

[Chipmunk89]

I've never really been slim - well not since childhood anyway - so I've never really been confident. I'm definitely hoping that will change when I lose some weight but I don't know if I've been big so long now that I'll always feel like a fat girl inside... if that makes sense?

 

[rach1987]

I've never really been slim - well not since childhood anyway - so I've never really been confident. I'm definitely hoping that will change when I lose some weight but I don't know if I've been big so long now that I'll always feel like a fat girl inside... if that makes sense?

totally understand how u feel Chipmunk89.i have always been big,even as a child,attm im 13lb from my target when i was at my smallest ever and i looked in the mirror today and still feel how i was 4 stone heavier
i still feel fat and feel i look fat , i hope theses feeling go for the both of us and we will be very confident,.
mini group hug for u hunnie :gen126:

 

[JezVonSavage]

I've never been thin- a 12 to 14 at my lightest, but I was happy with how I looked and felt about myself then. I posted some photographs of my old self on my diary the other day, and I've gone a step further and stuck some on the fridge. Very narcissistic of me but I do look at them and think I was gorgeous! Why the hell did I let myself go blah blah blah.

I am still very confident and an outgoing personality but I make less effort with myself than I used to and that really upsets me. I used to have a monthly beauty budget of around £200 and I'd spend the same on clothes- I would never go out without looking fab, but that is all by the wayside now. I work so hard that on my days off I just want to slob, it doesn't help that i've settled in a relationship AND that I've gained weight. Sometimes, I just don't want anyone to recognise me in case they think "what has happened to her?".

I shaved my legs today for the first time in a month and I false tanned for the first time since last September- hopefully this is me getting back to the person who used to get comments and wolf whistles all the time. I want the old, gorgeous me back!!!

 

[rach1987]

I've never been thin- a 12 to 14 at my lightest, but I was happy with how I looked and felt about myself then. I posted some photographs of my old self on my diary the other day, and I've gone a step further and stuck some on the fridge. Very narcissistic of me but I do look at them and think I was gorgeous! Why the hell did I let myself go blah blah blah.

I am still very confident and an outgoing personality but I make less effort with myself than I used to and that really upsets me. I used to have a monthly beauty budget of around £200 and I'd spend the same on clothes- I would never go out without looking fab, but that is all by the wayside now. I work so hard that on my days off I just want to slob, it doesn't help that i've settled in a relationship AND that I've gained weight. Sometimes, I just don't want anyone to recognise me in case they think "what has happened to her?".

I shaved my legs today for the first time in a month and I false tanned for the first time since last September- hopefully this is me getting back to the person who used to get comments and wolf whistles all the time. I want the old, gorgeous me back!!!

:bighug: a massive hug from me hunnie JezVonSavage, u relay touched me with ur post i came close to tears! u made me realise just how much i want the old me back, to make an effort, to sparkle and shine , to light up a room , u reminded me so much of my old self in your post, the making the effort and make up, clothes,beauty ect, omg i ive just realised just how bad i have become :cry:. my dear husband buys me all the nice under wear but i never wear them in case he runs a mile , sad i know but true. ive had 3 kids and trust me my bodys stretch marked and so baggy. i think i need to make a rule as that i have to make myself confident fat or thin!!! i dont know how but god im gonna try xxxxx

 

[Muis]

I was never thin before, always size 14/16. I felt so much better and was able to do more. The sky was the limit.
Now I just want to loose the weight so I can be more healthy.
I want to be able to climb the stairs without gasping for air.
I do not want to be the biggest mum at the school gate.
I want to ride horses and have another baby.

 

[Muis]

:bighug: a massive hug from me hunnie JezVonSavage, u relay touched me with ur post i came close to tears! u made me realise just how much i want the old me back, to make an effort, to sparkle and shine , to light up a room , u reminded me so much of my old self in your post, the making the effort and make up, clothes,beauty ect, omg i ive just realised just how bad i have become :cry:. my dear husband buys me all the nice under wear but i never wear them in case he runs a mile , sad i know but true. ive had 3 kids and trust me my bodys stretch marked and so baggy. i think i need to make a rule as that i have to make myself confident fat or thin!!! i dont know how but god im gonna try xxxxx

You go girl!!!

 

[JezVonSavage]

Rach- in your photo you look gorgeous and I bet your hubby thinks that too!!

I know it's hard financially when there are little mouths to feed and mortgages to pay etc, but I always use that excuse of money for not looking after myself. I will buy myself a cheap outfit from Peacocks or Primark but I always buy something middle aged when I'm young enough to get away with buying something trendy but my size stops me!! The excuse is not money- it's fat.

And in my profession- I'm a make up artist- I tell women ALL DAY that they should look after themselves regardless of money, yet I'm the worst offender!! Anyway, I decided earlier that I'm going to schedule in a couple of hours each week (actually pencil it in my diary!!) where I can have a bath, sort my hair out, do my nails and my tan. I've decided that OH is getting sexy undies for V-Day whether he likes it or not. This year, V-Day will be about undies, champagne and strawberries instead of heart shaped pizza and chocolate cake!! I bet your hubby would appreciate the same Rach!!

 

[rach1987]

I was never thin before, always size 14/16. I felt so much better and was able to do more. The sky was the limit.
Now I just want to loose the weight so I can be more healthy.
I want to be able to climb the stairs without gasping for air.
I do not want to be the biggest mum at the school gate.
I want to ride horses and have another baby.

we will get there hunnie , always think 3 good poss for 1 bad neg

 

[rach1987]

i have been told by a very good , very confident friend, that when she walks into a crowed room and everyone stares to think to ur self , AND WHAT UR S**T DONT STINK!!, WE ALL SIT ON THE LOO EACH MORNING? why i dont know with this one,lol,she did say she imagines them on the loo lol. to be as smartly dresses ,make up full works ect and act as confident as pos cos when we look good we feel good! and to always think about what would happen, so if for instance u spoke to the people at the play ground and they didnt say anything back ,MORE FALL THEN!!. if i wore my sexy underwear for hubby and god forbid he looked the other way THINK TO my SELF AND MOST DEF SAY , WHAT UR GODS GIFT ARE YA!!!not nice i know but if he cant acceept me as i am tough!!!, always think whats the worse that could happen?! not much worse than u already feel and at least ur prepared, and will pro realise it wasnt that big a deal. we are ur own person and everyone is different and if people cant accept that SCREW THEM!!!!


RANT OVER LOL ,got a little heated there lol

 

[AnnaFaraday]

Leaving aside the weight issue, whether we have lost or gained (or gone up and down and up again), none of us will ever be the person we were two months, two years, twenty years, ago.

We all change, all the time. I believe that I can aspire to be a better me, but the old me has gone for ever.

 

[JezVonSavage]

Well yes, the 23 year old me has gone forever too, but that doesn't mean that 28 year old me can't try to behave a bit more like 23 year old me instead of 43 year old me. I'm wasting my youth here!

 

[rach1987]

Rach- in your photo you look gorgeous and I bet your hubby thinks that too!!

I know it's hard financially when there are little mouths to feed and mortgages to pay etc, but I always use that excuse of money for not looking after myself. I will buy myself a cheap outfit from Peacocks or Primark but I always buy something middle aged when I'm young enough to get away with buying something trendy but my size stops me!! The excuse is not money- it's fat.

And in my profession- I'm a make up artist- I tell women ALL DAY that they should look after themselves regardless of money, yet I'm the worst offender!! Anyway, I decided earlier that I'm going to schedule in a couple of hours each week (actually pencil it in my diary!!) where I can have a bath, sort my hair out, do my nails and my tan. I've decided that OH is getting sexy undies for V-Day whether he likes it or not. This year, V-Day will be about undies, champagne and strawberries instead of heart shaped pizza and chocolate cake!! I bet your hubby would appreciate the same Rach!!

hi JezVonSavage, thank u , but not sure he does, think the limbo has gone.hunnie just coz were big dont mean we cant be sexy, strange i say this to u but i cant say this to myself lol. i buy older clothes coz of size and coz hubbies 41 and i think i need to act propper, but when he married me i was young and with young clothes. but i suppose i feel that i need to meet his exspectations why i dont know , i feel younger clothes wont suit me and that i wont feel sexy. im defo gonna make an effort to at least pput make up on every day, thats my mask lol , i can hide the real me benith i think to be honest my hubby thinks im thinner than what i am , he keeps buying me size 10-12, im a small 14!! (hello!!!), it really buggs me and make me think he would rarther i was that size again it makes me livid!!!! im sure he would buy me sexy undies again , if he hasnt given up hope , but would he buy the right size for me to fit into it instead of squezz and all fall out (not a nice pic lol)

and hunnie by ur pic u are beautiful!!!!!!!!! and i will say it ur stunning!!!!!!!!!

 

[Chipmunk89]

i think to be honest my hubby thinks im thinner than what i am , he keeps buying me size 10-12, im a small 14!! (hello!!!), it really buggs me and make me think he would rarther i was that size again

I'm sure hubby thinks you're beautiful. Don't let this put you off. Most men have absolutely NO IDEA about women's sizes. Honestly, my OH doesn't have a clue what is small, normal, big etc. When I ask he can't even hazard a guess because he genuinely hasn't got a clue.

I'm a 16 and I know OH loves me and finds me attractive. I just know he'll find me even more attractive if my wobbly bits disappear!

 

[interested92]

I miss my confidence, but I am under no illusions. I'm actually worried I'll still have no confidence when I hit target. then what do I do?!

 

[louise1979]

men have no idea

I'm sure hubby thinks you're beautiful. Don't let this put you off. Most men have absolutely NO IDEA about women's sizes. Honestly, my OH doesn't have a clue what is small, normal, big etc. When I ask he can't even hazard a guess because he genuinely hasn't got a clue.

think most men are just the same i think men think women come in one size in there eyes,, im a 36dd and oh buys me 32b lol , i just grin say thx and when he asks if im wearing it , i reply i am saving for a special occassionbecause when that special occassion does come he has totally forgot anyway ,,,,blumin men they should come with instructions

 

[MadameLaMinx]

I miss my confidence, but I am under no illusions. I'm actually worried I'll still have no confidence when I hit target. then what do I do?!

In my opinion, weight is more often the symptom rather than the cause. So you need to start building your confidence before you get to Target, because otherwise that is exactly what you will find, as I did. It's very easy to focus on the losing, and to be fair, the achievements along the way do help you to feel more positive, but unless they leave a lasting mark on you, then they are just transient peaks and you won't take anything from them which will form the basis of a strong foundation of a more positive change in your self-esteem.

So you need to go right back and identify whatever it was that set you on the path of weight gain. That's not always easy. For many, it is as simple as settling down with a long term relationship and feeling more secure, ironically, or even more insecure, "its great but it will never last because one day my OH will wake up and realise what a mistake they made". For others, its an ill thought out comment, or a traumatic life event (or five) and everyone is different.

But track back to the person you were before. You haven't fundamentally changed that person, they still exist, you have just been listening to the wrong messages that you have been giving yourself for years. If there was something you didn't like about that person you were, you need to forgive that and realise that there is far more to you than that one thing and that you do have the power to change.

Weight is one of the few physical aspects of ourselves we can control, or lose control over. We can't change how many limbs we have, or the colour of our eyes, or how big our ears are. That's all simple genetics and no one persons set is any better or worse than any others. We just get on with those things without them bothering us too much. But when we feel insecure we can put on weight and put a wall of defensive fat around us to protect others from seeing beyond it to the flawed individual that we are. Knowing that actually we are ALL flawed individuals is half the battle. What matters is not what others think of you, but what you think of.yourself, and that is key to getting the weight off and maintaining long term.

 

[interested92]

I am a different person to the one I was before, but it's sooo long since I've felt any confidence in myself. thankyou for the advice.

 

[Cheekypasterfield]

For me, its really hard to judge.... the old me was living a very different life to the new me. The old me was a size 18/20 (aged 18-25) was in/out of relationships, clubbing and in some ways immature. I lost weight during this time but was never comfortable and got down to a size 14.

The new me is a size 10 aged 30, married of 3years, with two children (3yrs and 8months) and a lot maturer lol I feel more comfortable in my skin and generally more relaxed.

I obviously love the new me and my life and wouldn't want to go back.....I just wish the old me had lost weight sooner, I know I would have lived the same life but i wouldn't have felt to self conscious about my shape/appearance.

So for me its the new me but more cos I love feeling comfortable.

x

 

[Hamish's Mum]

I need to rebuild my confidence and low self esteem. I think being very over weight is a big part of my problems, not all but it does make me feel very ashamed.

I often look back at pictures in my 20's and I would love to be that confident, slim person again, but don't think it will ever happen.

I decided that this is my year back in the beginning of January. this year I will continue to lose weight and start to look at my depression and confidence and try to make a difference. Even if they are small changes thats ok, I have a year.

Next year I want to be in a good place and able to make real changes to my life.