• Upgrades have been completed! Including conversations, 😁😎🏀⚾⚽ Emojis and more.. Read more



What if I am scared of being slim?....

#1
I had a bit of a thought today... last night I had a chocolate incident. My rationale brain was telling me all the time of me thinking about doing it and whilst doing it that it was wrong, but it was almost like I wasn't in control of my body. It got me to thinking about why the need to eat the chocolate got the better of me even though I knew it was wrong and I came up with that if I am scared of being slim?

Let me explain.... I have never been slim as an adult, I have been at least a size 16 for as long as I can remember, at least from age 13/14. So I don't know what it is like to be slim, I don't know what it feels like, I don't know what kind of person I will be or how I will feel when I am slim.

I always get to this weight, around 15 stone, but then never any lower, it is like a comfort blanket of this is what I know, anything below this is unknown territory. So today I realised that maybe that uncontrolled eating- feel like I can't stop myself doing it- maybe it is a defence mechanism.

I know that that chocolate is going to make me feel better if only for a few moments, and because I KNOW that feeling, I can rely on it- that it what I chose over the willpower and possibility of being slim because I DON'T know how that feels?

Does this make any sense- it is hard to get what I mean into words? What if subconsciously I am sabotaging myself because I don't know what it will be like? Am I secretly scared of being slim?

I sometimes wonder if tomorrow someone made me slim for a day and then put me back to 15 stone- would I lose weight much quicker after because I knew how it felt?

Sorry for the waffle just wanted to see what people thought.

Thanks for reading

Claire xx
 
Get Rid of this ad and join in on the conversation for free today! Tap here!

Maximus

Gold Member
#2
Lol - it's probably the fear of the unknown - maybe an in-built defence mechanism, laying the foundations (albeit subconsciously) that if you don't get there, it's ok. Gosh I sounded like Freud then!!

I had the same quandry. I reached my new target this week and am the lightest I've been since junior school! So not only my adult like but also all of my years since reaching double figures!!!

At 10st 11lb (fighting weight previously was probably 14.5-16 stone) my previous best was 12st 2lb and on a couple of occasions 17st 7lb was my worst.

I can hereby categorically declare it is fantastic being slim and at target and any concerns simply melt away with all the inches. The funny thing is, I still find it hard to accept I'm slim and other people obviously notice it more.

How can you be afraid or fear health and happiness?

Maintaining it is when the fun begins!

Steve
 

Wish

Silver Member
#3
Claire, I kind of understand what you are saying, have wondered the same about myself numerous times:rolleyes: But to be honest I don't think you are scared of being slim, I think you are scared that you are losing control of your food, in a sense of sometimes people, particulary those who comfor eat (holds hands up high) feel that food is the one thing that they can control! I know you are controlling what you eat diet wise, but in a sense you are following some kind of regime, so perhaps you aren't scared of being slim, but more scared of not being able to stick two fingers up to the regime and control the food yourself, that probably makes no sense to anyone, I know what I want to say, finding it hard to put into the written word, sorry:confused:
 

*Emsie*

Gold Member
#4
I think it can be scary going into the unknown and there can be moments/elements of self sabotage along the way.
I felt that the weight was a kind of armour/barrier between me and the world and found it hard at times as it gradually went and revealed this person I was still getting used to. Its so public with weight loss, nice to get the positive comments from people but its on display how well you are or aren't doing.
Unfortunately you can't have a peek at how you will be but if you do get there and don't like it you could always put the weight back on.
I doubt you will want to though s even though I would say I am still gettimg used to being smaller it is better overall.
Hope this makes some sense x
 
#5
Thanks for taking the time to reply guys :)

Steve- its nice to hear from someone who had been there and nice to hear its worth it, you say the worries melt away and I suppose that's also a fear- what if I got slim and it didn't fix me? Lol but your right what is there to be scared off, how could being slim be a bad thing! You have done fantastically on your journey- I do follow your diary and you got that Florida weight off in no time!

Wish- I think I know what you mean that maybe its not being in control I am worrying about. Maybe having these binges is me tricking myself into believing I am controlling myself but in fact I'm not. Thanks for replying, emotional eating is a hard thing to understand and get to grips with, I suppose this journey is about much more then loosing weight, it's about learning to help myself too. Xx
 

Wish

Silver Member
#6
Thanks for taking the time to reply guys :)

Wish- I think I know what you mean that maybe its not being in control I am worrying about. Maybe having these binges is me tricking myself into believing I am controlling myself but in fact I'm not. Thanks for replying, emotional eating is a hard thing to understand and get to grips with, I suppose this journey is about much more then loosing weight, it's about learning to help myself too. Xx
Yes, I know what you mean, it is more than weight loss, its all about baby steps though, one step at a time, slowly but surely we will get there. xx

BTW just noticed we weigh exactly the same at the moment, shall we challenge ourselves?
 
#7
*Emsie* said:
I think it can be scary going into the unknown and there can be moments/elements of self sabotage along the way.
I felt that the weight was a kind of armour/barrier between me and the world and found it hard at times as it gradually went and revealed this person I was still getting used to. Its so public with weight loss, nice to get the positive comments from people but its on display how well you are or aren't doing.
Unfortunately you can't have a peek at how you will be but if you do get there and don't like it you could always put the weight back on.
I doubt you will want to though s even though I would say I am still gettimg used to being smaller it is better overall.
Hope this makes some sense x
Hi emsie

That makes a lot of sense, about it being a public thing, like you say I will have to get used to getting slim along with other people too.

Lol I agree with you that I won't not like being slim. Its something I have wanted for such a long time, I sometimes think I obviously don't want it enough or I would just lose the weight easily, not as easy as that though is it!

Well done on your journey and I hope you enjoy the new slim you. Thank you for replying, I feel better for writing this down, I feel like I have made a bit of progress by identifying a potential reason why I sabotage and feel more positive I can combat it. Xx
 
#8
Wish said:
Yes, I know what you mean, it is more than weight loss, its all about baby steps though, one step at a time, slowly but surely we will get there. xx

BTW just noticed we weigh exactly the same at the moment, shall we challenge ourselves?
Ohh that would be great! What should we go for? I am a slow looser, taken me a year to lose 2 stone! Xx
 

Wish

Silver Member
#9
Ohh that would be great! What should we go for? I am a slow looser, taken me a year to lose 2 stone! Xx
Thats brilliant, the slower the better, more likely to stay off that way:cool: I quite like mini challenges as they don't seem so much of a mountain but more of a hill, if you see what I mean;) What about 3lbs off by end of July? (I may find this hard as we go away on holiday next week) Is that reasonable?
 
#10
I get the whole scared of being slim thing. I think its not so much scared of being slim but scared of what comes with it. You'll feel like your noticed more, people are looking. Your scared your personality will change and your not sure what to. Your scared of what the future holds, fat is something you know and you know what comes with being fat. Your not sure about skinny and what comes with that. People can tell you but you'll never quite believe them until you feel it yourself.
 
#11
I'm the same way, I hit a brick wall every time I lose weight & I can't figure out why! I can lose to about 15 stones & then bang! Brick wall. :( I've thought about trying to see a counsellor to work through it but I'm scared to ask my Dr in case he says no. :S
 
#12
Please don't be afraid of being slimmer.

I understand the issue with emotional eating is the question here but if you can just put your fear to one side and experience the joy of being slimmer you will never want to return to your heavy days.

Life is so much more pleasurable when you have lost a significant amount of weight. Simple things give you enormous pleasure.

You will find that the psychological benefits are priceless.

I feel I am explaining this badly. I only know that from the time I faced up to my weight problem and stopped hiding behind what were to me ,at that time perfectly valid excuses.......i.e. under active thyroid, cancer treatment etc. that my life changed drastically on a mental and a physical level.

hugs xxx
 
#13
I'm the same way, I hit a brick wall every time I lose weight & I can't figure out why! I can lose to about 15 stones & then bang! Brick wall. :( I've thought about trying to see a counsellor to work through it but I'm scared to ask my Dr in case he says no. :S
I have considered going to see a hypnotist and if I really struggle this time I probably will as I think finding out the real real reasons behind why I have this weight and why I struggle to loose it would help.
 
#14
Please don't be afraid of being slimmer.

I understand the issue with emotional eating is the question here but if you can just put your fear to one side and experience the joy of being slimmer you will never want to return to your heavy days.

Life is so much more pleasurable when you have lost a significant amount of weight. Simple things give you enormous pleasure.

You will find that the psychological benefits are priceless.

I feel I am explaining this badly. I only know that from the time I faced up to my weight problem and stopped hiding behind what were to me ,at that time perfectly valid excuses.......i.e. under active thyroid, cancer treatment etc. that my life changed drastically on a mental and a physical level.

hugs xxx
Thanks for your kind words Sue, you talk much sense as usual! I agree that until I stop putting barriers in my own way things won't change. I feel like I had a bit of a Eureka moment yesterday and made a positive step, so lets hope it helps if only a little :)

Thank you for taking the time to comment, your advice is always appreciated.

Claire x
 
#15
I'm the same way, I hit a brick wall every time I lose weight & I can't figure out why! I can lose to about 15 stones & then bang! Brick wall. :( I've thought about trying to see a counsellor to work through it but I'm scared to ask my Dr in case he says no. :S
Hi Just me,

I am glad it is not just me, it is strange isn't it, I would love to know why my brain seems to stop here. It might be a good idea to ask to doctor if you feel talking to someone might help? I know what you mean about being scared to ask though incase he says no though. I find some doctors these days aren't very helpful with things like this- they think its not a real problem. I certainly have found that anyway.

Claire xx
 
#16
Thanks for taking the time to reply guys :)

Steve- its nice to hear from someone who had been there and nice to hear its worth it, you say the worries melt away and I suppose that's also a fear- what if I got slim and it didn't fix me? Lol but your right what is there to be scared off, how could being slim be a bad thing! You have done fantastically on your journey- I do follow your diary and you got that Florida weight off in no time!
I'm going back to Florida in less than 10 weeks time. I will see how much control I have this time as I am self-catering! Last time was on Disney's dining plan - so much food (all included) and would have been a waste not eating it. I did recover well from the gain though.

This time I get to choose EXACTLY what I eat.

One other point, I also mentioned it on these pages was during my journey I received one or two "barbed" comments from work colleagues saying how i had changed etc. Now I've always been a jovial, happy-go-lucky sort of chap and the thought of a personality change horrified me.

It appeared at that time there were one or two individuals who clearly couldn't accept my weightloss as it put them in a bad light - green-eyed monster syndrome.

I'd have hated weightloss to have changed my personality & attitude to life and people:eek:
 
#17
I'm going back to Florida in less than 10 weeks time. I will see how much control I have this time as I am self-catering! Last time was on Disney's dining plan - so much food (all included) and would have been a waste not eating it. I did recover well from the gain though.

This time I get to choose EXACTLY what I eat.

One other point, I also mentioned it on these pages was during my journey I received one or two "barbed" comments from work colleagues saying how i had changed etc. Now I've always been a jovial, happy-go-lucky sort of chap and the thought of a personality change horrified me.

It appeared at that time there were one or two individuals who clearly couldn't accept my weightloss as it put them in a bad light - green-eyed monster syndrome.

I'd have hated weightloss to have changed my personality & attitude to life and people:eek:

My Stevie child...........mumsie here !!!

If you have changed it can only be for the better. You are an all round nice guy and no I do not want to borrow anything.

You are truly inspirational and you along with a few others in this forum are what we would all like to achieve.

hugs xxxx
 
#18
Thats brilliant, the slower the better, more likely to stay off that way:cool: I quite like mini challenges as they don't seem so much of a mountain but more of a hill, if you see what I mean;) What about 3lbs off by end of July? (I may find this hard as we go away on holiday next week) Is that reasonable?
Hey hun,

I forgot to reply to this sorry-3lbs sounds fair! I had best get a grip then lol. That is 2 weigh in's for me- what day do you weigh in? Do you keep a diary on here at all? xx
 

Wish

Silver Member
#19
Hey hun,

I forgot to reply to this sorry-3lbs sounds fair! I had best get a grip then lol. That is 2 weigh in's for me- what day do you weigh in? Do you keep a diary on here at all? xx
Hi

I weigh in on a Wed (just at home) I don't keep a diary, but I am on My Fitness Pal where I log all my food and exercise my name on there is Yellowlass:D
 
#20
Hi

I weigh in on a Wed (just at home) I don't keep a diary, but I am on My Fitness Pal where I log all my food and exercise my name on there is Yellowlass:D
Hiya!

I don't go to class either, I just weigh in at home on a Friday. You will have to come and let me know how you do on my diary when you weigh in on Wednesday. What is you target weight? I am looking to get down to 12 stone, but I don't really have any idea what weight I need to be. I think I am just going to try and keep going until I am happy. (Could be never lol!) xx
 


Similar threads