What is WRONG with me? >.<

Cookeh

Recovering Cookie Addict
Seriously? I am sabotaging myself and I don't know why, I just can't get a handle on things.

I'm sitting at home on Tuesday night, its about 9pm and out of nowhere I find myself scurrying across to the garage, loading up on chocolate, coming home and stuffing my face. I tell myself I needed it and its fine, I'll start over tomorrow. Wednesday comes and I wake thinking what an idiot I should've eaten a meal, I'm starving after all. It's all I can think about and despite being on plan I call a Chinese at 6pm and by 8pm I'm back at the garage stocking up. I wake Thursday much calmer, no hunger, no cravings and the day goes perfectly, til 9pm when I'm hurrying back to the garage for chocolate. This is INSANE! I don't know why I'm doing it, I feel possessed, seriously! I weighed in today to face the damage, 5.8lbs gained in 3 days, in the hope it'll force me to draw a line under it. It's scary. I really don't know what's driving this urge to binge. It's less than 12 weeks til my trip and at this rate I won't achieve my goal. It's as though I'm deliberately sabotaging my efforts. Any thoughts? x
 
Im sorry your having a tough time, I've been in the same position so many times before... I know everyone says the same but drink water and try and keep your self busy..
I have just bought a book called "the beck diet solution" and I'm only on the 3rd chapter but I can see that it's going to help my way of thinking - the book is not a diet program but it's like a therapy book and makes u think about things differently - there is a thread on the cd forum about it if u want a look but I'd recommend it to anyone to read leading up to maintenance - it's supposed to make u think like a "thin person" which I don't lol..

Hopefully ull have a better day today - you have done amazing so far u should be proud if how far you've come and not beating ur self up about a couple of blips x
 
RIGHT. This is crazy, I am exactly the same, no worries.

Since I was asked to be bridesmaid and got measured for the dress (which can't be made bigger if I put on too much weight!) I have been like you, really good all day, then the demon tells you to eat rubbish. I have been trying to get into the diet for 4 days now and can't break the barrier. Are we truely insane, lol.

I really do not know why we do this.

At least we are not alone. Maybe if you feel the urge, you should come back to this to read it first, think I might try it.

Try to have a great day, it will be a great day, no demons here.
 
This happens us all but that's no consolation for you. Your body is nearing it's optimum weight so subconsciously you may be wanting to eat again.
At the end of the day, feeling good about yourself is not necessarily about a number on the scales, it's also about how you look and feel. You have done so very well despite a lot of ups and downs.
At this stage either find the strength to get up and carry on on TFR or switch to a healthy eating plan that you will also continue to follow as your lifestyle.
Your trip in the Summer is very important to you. People will want to know you as a person and will be taken by your intelligence and strength of character and won't be thinking, wow she needs to drop another ten pounds!
Get thinking and decide how to proceed. Only you can know! Hugs in abundance!
 
having considered you post more, you should start to write down what it is that you are eating and what is making you eat them, such as your mood. If you cooked some eggs and had them in the fridge, or some chicken, if you get the urge to eat, you will have foods available to you that will not harm your great weight loss.

I know it is easier said than done. I need to do the same, and I will.
 
Cookeh i am exactly the same. People have been saying god you've lost nearly 3 stone that's amazing and it's seriously like it has flicked a switch inside my head. My Son sat here in disbelief last night when i raided the kitchen and he just kept asking me 'why' but i didn't know the answer.
I hope you can get over this as you have done so well and are so close to goal.
I am using the weekend to decide if i go to the chemist on Monday for my next supply or not.
Good luck hun xx
 
i was the same with peanut butter?? its cos it is fat your body wants it.. seriously all you can do is keep busy its a evil place to be in.. just keep busy busy busy xx
 
I have bought a book called 'how to stop binge eating' it looks very interesting, a self help guide to tackling the issue. There are so many people with the same problem, and many of them are here to so something about it.

Take care all, hope you get to where you want to be.

But remember, it is not just about getting the weight off, that can sometimes be the easy bit, it is the keeping it off bit that takes a lot of effort, especially when you have a bingeing problem, the angel and the demon problem I call it, We know we should not do it, but something makes you do it.
 
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