I'd always been a stress under-eater. If anything stressful or emotional happened my stomach would go into knotts and I physically couldn't eat. 7 years ago I was told my mum was dying and didn't have long and I went into eating/drinking over-drive. Don't know if my body was preparing for a famine but it was almost instant - and I ate a lot.
She actually fought all the way. God, if I could tell you the diets she stuck too all her life just so he could stay alive you wouldn't believe it. She was amazing.
She died last year and I put on the final bit of weight. I have to say I knew I'd piled on weight, the scales told me that, but I still didn't really accept it. I still felt I was a thin person but trapped in this lard suit that I assumed would just go at somepoint.
Anyway last week I had to finally accept I needed some decent clothes (as have refused to buy anything nice in my current size for several years - just buying cheap stuff, sale stuff and wearing my old well stretched clothes). I sorted out my wardrobe and gave a big bag of 'mistake' clothes to charity (clothes you buy becuase you had to have something to wear but look awful) but I couldn't give away my lovely smaller sized clothes! So I now have 3 suitcases under my bed full of my last 7 years wardrobe in 3 decreasing sizes. I ordered a whole load of stuff from M&S and when it arrived I tried it on had to accept my current size and then thought NO bugger this. I am not having this at all.
So I looked online on Thursday. First at LL and then saw mention of this diet. I really don't want to do the whole group therapy. I know why I got fat and for the last few months I've halfed my portion size and stopped picking so much. The weight was slowly coming off but, like others on here, I am fed up of feeling insecure about my size when I go out (so I haven't been) or on holiday and always refusing to have photos taken. I didn't want to wait a whole year and lose it slowly by cutting down. I want it off asap. If my mum could follow medical diets for over 20 years (for a disease that was in no way her fault) then I figured I should do it for 8-10 weeks for something that I very much have done to myself (regardless of the reasons why).
I don't mind that I'm not able to eat and I have quite a few dinners/weekends away coming up. I'm just going to tell people the truth and tell them to respect what I am doing. Christmas day will be easy as OH is Jewish so I'll just have LT chicken soup while they have theirs with noodles
Hopefully I will be eating again either beginning or middle of January so it really doesn't seem that far away.
Am off to Florida last two weeks in February for 10 days and OH wants to spend a day at wet n wild. Normally that would be my idea of humiliation hell but hopefully next year I will be happily shooting down those slides with a big grin and a nice swimsuit.
That's it really. I'm on day 5 now and apart from a sore throat and a bit of a cold am feeling pretty chipper.
Best of luck to everyone on here, we all deserve to be happy and to live our lives to the full every single day. xxx
