"You need to stop losing now"

[Pigler]

The thing that's really anoying is that I remember the people making these comments are the same ones who used to comment about me having gained weight when I weighed this much on the way up the scales!

 

[donna88]

I'm loving this thread (Gazter - you look great btw)

I've been getting this too. The comments range from 'you must be at your goal weight now' which is a compliment to 'oooh you need to wear blusher cos you look drawn now' which was just plain b1tchy!

I do get the looking ill thing too though. I didn't tell anyone at first that I was even trying to lose weight so after a few months of SW my Mum was genuinely worried! Until I told her - now she's ok and I guess relieved.

I do also get the opposite 'how much have you lost now?' And 'oh keep going wont you!'
Can't win!!!

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

Much rather have to put a bit more blusher on then constantly looked flushed from being too chubby though
Although its hard and I do let it get to me sometimes when people comment, I always think well I'm happier with my body now and whatever they say, I'd rather that then what I was before. If my face looks too skinny, I'd rather that then it look too chubby with 3 extra chins. My mum was horrified that I fitted into some jeans which were too tight a few months ago, but again I'd rather that then a few years ago when all my jeans were too tight but I refused to buy bigger so I constantly had overhang.

 

[gazter]

I try to let the 'you need to stop now' comments wash by me, because none of them are spiteful so far, just people's concerned. They look in shock and horror when i tell them i probably need another stone and a half to lose. I know I have a hell of a lot of fat around my system, and only just under the 'obesity' definition, at the top end of overweight, even losing that other stone and a half makes me marginally overweight.

I cant claim it to be muscle either, it's fat.... I am not in a hurry to lose it though. A pound or two here and there and i'll be happy. 1/2 a pound to target and ill enjoy a few free weeks courtesy of SW, then adjust my target downwards.

 

[Shirleen]

I have posted about this elsewhere but I really do think folk are rude and I hate it that all they can comment on is how we look. It's not like I'd go up to someone and say something as remotely rude to them or comment on some aspect of their appearance- maybe their teeth or skin! Why is it socially acceptable to discuss weight but not these other things. I have had various comments and am dreading going back home at the beginning of November cos I know it'll be all my family talk about. When I had lost almost 1.5st someone who hadnt seen me in a while said I was fading away and had lost "stones and stones and stones"! It must be because I'm so short that i just look really fat really quickly and consequently, when I lose, it is obvious. But I couldn't help but think that I must have looked huge. I know these are intended as compliments but there's a thin line between a compliment and an insult when it comes to weight!

I agree 100% it is bloody RUDE!!!

I wouldn't go up to a colleague and say
'you need to stop dyeing your hair that awful colour cos you look sick'
Or 'I think it's time you stopped wearing so much eyeliner it ages you as the last time it was fashionable was when Farrah Fawcett was in Charlie's Angels'

Who gives them the right to comment?
Personally I would answer, 'when I agree with you, I'll stop'

Now people who are closer to you, it's generally not about you at all.
If you've always been the fat sister/ brother and you change that then you change who they are too. I can't explain well but you have a role, they have a role, and they may be able to relate to you when you're overweight and unhappy by being the supportive one. Now you've changed and so they now need to find a new role.
You can help them, ask them for advice on things clothes/relationships/DIY whatever, ask them to come shopping with you, or the gym/class whatever give them a new role, gradually they will get used to the new you, but until then give them a hand.

Then there's the ones who have looked down their noses at you for years and are now scared because how will they feel better when you look better!!!
These people you tell to get stuffed and mind their own business, or advise THEM to go to SW!

 

[peacelily]

I agree 100% it is bloody RUDE!!!

I wouldn't go up to a colleague and say
'you need to stop dyeing your hair that awful colour cos you look sick'
Or 'I think it's time you stopped wearing so much eyeliner it ages you as the last time it was fashionable was when Farrah Fawcett was in Charlie's Angels'

Who gives them the right to comment?
Personally I would answer, 'when I agree with you, I'll stop'

Now people who are closer to you, it's generally not about you at all.
If you've always been the fat sister/ brother and you change that then you change who they are too. I can't explain well but you have a role, they have a role, and they may be able to relate to you when you're overweight and unhappy by being the supportive one. Now you've changed and so they now need to find a new role.
You can help them, ask them for advice on things clothes/relationships/DIY whatever, ask them to come shopping with you, or the gym/class whatever give them a new role, gradually they will get used to the new you, but until then give them a hand.

Then there's the ones who have looked down their noses at you for years and are now scared because how will they feel better when you look better!!!
These people you tell to get stuffed and mind their own business, or advise THEM to go to SW!

Hear hear Shirleen and I totally get the issue of roles.

 

[purpleboots]

Someone at my work said he thinks diets are a form of self-harm. I was just like: erm, actually I'm trying to be healthy and look after myself!!
Definitely people need to be sensitive in the comments they make about anyone's weight! Whatever point you are on the scale!

 

[peacelily]

Someone at my work said he thinks diets are a form of self-harm. I was just like: erm, actually I'm trying to be healthy and look after myself!!
Definitely people need to be sensitive in the comments they make about anyone's weight! Whatever point you are on the scale!

Tell him to google self harm and I can guarantee that SW will not come up! If he ever drinks alcohol then tell him under the conditions you are self harming then he is a drug abuser! You're right, people think its acceptable to say what they like! ;-)
PS no offence to anyone just pointing out the absurdity of the comment

 

[CraigA]

Tell him you are not on a diet, because im not on Slimming World. Tell him this is how you are going to eat for the rest of your life or send him to me and il have a word haha.

 

[purpleboots]

Lol, its ok, his comment didn't make me waiver, if anything it made me even more determined!! But people can be pretty strange :silly:

 

[Sheanin]

Self harm?! Sweet lord. That term is thrown around far too loosely for my liking. I was told recently that tattoos are a form of self harm (I'm covered in them and proud to be so) which must of course mean that ancient tribes thousands of years ago were all self-harmers.

Now dieting...sigh. So, by taking control of my longstanding poor relationship with food and bettering my appearance, mental health, physical health and all round happiness, I'm self harming. And as others have said, SW is NOT a bloody diet - it's like learning how to eat again for your own maximum benefit. How can a diet allow nights out, slap up meals, takeaways, chocolate and anything else you might fancy once in a while? Something that teaches balance on several levels cannot possibly amount to self harm. Sounds to me like that fella has issues of his own he may want to tackle.

 

[shawden]

Thank you for this post

I have been getting this for the last few weeks from my FIL and the last week from 2 work "mates".
They keep saying I have lost enough now and need to stop but I still feel overweight and wobbly in certain parts, I seem to have lost it from my top half (except the dreaded bingo wings) and not as much from the lower half.
But I have decided to ignore them and carry on until I feel comfortable in my body (the first for a very very long time) at least my Husband and kids are supportive and helpful in my SW journey!

 

[cat yoyo greaves]

Thank you for this post

I have been getting this for the last few weeks from my FIL and the last week from 2 work "mates".
They keep saying I have lost enough now and need to stop but I still feel overweight and wobbly in certain parts, I seem to have lost it from my top half (except the dreaded bingo wings) and not as much from the lower half.
But I have decided to ignore them and carry on until I feel comfortable in my body (the first for a very very long time) at least my Husband and kids are supportive and helpful in my SW journey!

I too have lost most from top half except the bat wings but my thighs refuse to downsize I mean they are reducing but waaaay slower than everywhere else if only I lost it off my Boobs as slow as my thighs :/

 

[Claire_R]

I'm still definately overweight, and a colleague (who's knows for being blunt and upsetting people) recently told me I should shop losing weight because it's aging me!! Cheeky moo!

 

[CraigA]

Have been told again today that i look gaunt in my face so i said well look at my thighs and just laughed and walked off.

 

[xMandyDx]

Seriously, would these people walk up to someone in the street and tell them they're looking too fat? No, of course not, that's RUDE. But it's okay to say you look sick, gaunt and skeletal?
A friend of mine has lost a lot of weight recently and hit her goal of 8st. She's only about an inch taller than myself, so at 5'3" she's in a healthy weight zone. It's a lot to do with insecurity, I think. Some people get used to treating you a certain way, and when you've changed yourself they no longer know how to relate to you or treat you, which leads to insecurity, jealousy and wanting the "old you" back.

 

[letmeout]

I've been getting these comments recently, so annoying! But at the same time if I do have a naughty day and treat myself to something synful I get the opposite, people making veiled comments about how I'm undoing all my hard work just because I decide once in a blue moon to have a pizza! They just don't seem to understand that I have managed to gain a degree of control over my eating habits now, I can be very very good but at the same time if I have a treat I'm not going to beat myself up about it! x

This is particularly aggravating isn't it ?! On the one hand I have comments like 'somebody run out and get her a bag of chips quick ' followed by 'are you sure you want that- I'm only saying this to keep you on track' if I have so much as one rich tea from the works biccies tin. And from the same person lol !

 

[missy1978]

I had this yesterday - off my mum this time! First thing she said to me was 'you're wasting away girl!' When I said that I still had lots to lose her answer was 'from where?'

So I pointed out that I may have lost weight but I am still 5'3 and 16 stone - at which point she dropped the subject, bless her

 

[shawden]

missy1978 - love this reply!!

I will try this next time and hopefully embarrass them into not commenting again

 

[missy1978]

I honestly wasn't trying to embarrass her lol Just trying to get her to think about it logically. I may look better and fit in smaller clothes but I've a long way to go still!

 

[gazter]

I think my face is settling into itself! Not looking 'gaunt' as others said, and thankfully, not looking as white as a sheet. It's quite incredible how illness completely drains your face. A bit of colour to my cheeks

When people now ask me if I'm losing more I just tell them i am where i want to be, and now it's all about keeping it from coming back on.