30st 5lb Start Weight

[hershey]

I'm back, heavier than ever

I was going to wait until xmas was done with to start over but I weighed myself and I'm disgusted.

I am clinically depressed at the best of times but now I am in the lowest of the lows. I haven't left the house for a month and don't intend to until I have lost some weight and look at least prestentable. I have cancelled plans to go to family for xmas as I cannot even face them.

It's 10 days until xmas and I have set myself a small goal to lose 7lb by Xmas day.

I have so much to lose that this will be easy if I stick to it.

I weigh 425lbs. I hate it and right now I hate me everything is an effort, getting up off the sofa, walking upstairs, showering, all such a big deal at this weight. I'm a mess

By Xmas day that needs to be 418. After that I will take each weigh in as it comes.

I need kind words from people in the same boat. I can't stop crying

I will be using mfp and writing food diary a here to keep myself on track.

Would love for someone to join my little challenge. Doesn't have to be 7lb, can be anything xx

 

[Blondcat]

I'm back, heavier than ever I was going to wait until xmas was done with to start over but I weighed myself and I'm disgusted. I am clinically depressed at the best of times but now I am in the lowest of the lows. I haven't left the house for a month and don't intend to until I have lost some weight and look at least prestentable. I have cancelled plans to go to family for xmas as I cannot even face them. It's 10 days until xmas and I have set myself a small goal to lose 7lb by Xmas day. I have so much to lose that this will be easy if I stick to it. I weigh 425lbs. I hate it and right now I hate me everything is an effort, getting up off the sofa, walking upstairs, showering, all such a big deal at this weight. I'm a mess By Xmas day that needs to be 418. After that I will take each weigh in as it comes. I need kind words from people in the same boat. I can't stop crying I will be using mfp and writing food diary a here to keep myself on track. Would love for someone to join my little challenge. Doesn't have to be 7lb, can be anything xx

I hope you won't be insulted by me posting - I'm not in the same boat but saw no one else had replied yet and I just wanted to say I thought you are really brave. And obviously very committed to start before Christmas. I would never presume to tell someone what to do but are you sure about not seeing your family over Christmas? I'm sure they love you just as you.

I wish you the very best of luck and I'm sure you'll feel happier when you see a great number at the end of the first week. The girls on this board are so supportive of each other and I'm sure they'll have the kind words for you that you are hoping for. It's just really quiet generally, I guess because of christmas

Xx

 

[hershey]

Thank you xx

I'm not going out for xmas, me my husband and son will have a nice day at home. At least that way I won't be panicking for days worried about leaving the house.

I'm feeling a lot more positive today after a night of tossing and turning thinking about losing weight and looking at pics of big losses and reading people's stories.

I may be super over weight but that doesn't define me, at the moment though it's taken over my life and my 'me' is hidden away and I can't live like this anymore.

It's hard to admit my weight to strangers but I realise I have to be honest with myself about it. People will judge and I could list all the reasons why I am so fat but it means nothing in the long run. They aren't excuses but people will always just think I'm fat because I'm a slob or something. That certainly isn't true but what matters now is moving forward and taking it one meal at a time.

I hope people can support me here, I lost 50lb 2 years ago with the support on here.

 

[TracyGWill]

Hi Lou, it's nice to see you back! I was wondering how you were doing. I'm sorry you're having a bad time - I know first hand what depression is like, and I hope you're getting plenty of support. I'm just emerging from what has been one of the lowest points of my life, following knee replacement surgery, and the lovely ladies on here have really helped me through it. Keep on posting and letting us know how you're getting on - you absolutely can do this, you've proved that before! xx

 

[Blondcat]

Thank you xx I'm not going out for xmas, me my husband and son will have a nice day at home. At least that way I won't be panicking for days worried about leaving the house. I'm feeling a lot more positive today after a night of tossing and turning thinking about losing weight and looking at pics of big losses and reading people's stories. I may be super over weight but that doesn't define me, at the moment though it's taken over my life and my 'me' is hidden away and I can't live like this anymore. It's hard to admit my weight to strangers but I realise I have to be honest with myself about it. People will judge and I could list all the reasons why I am so fat but it means nothing in the long run. They aren't excuses but people will always just think I'm fat because I'm a slob or something. That certainly isn't true but what matters now is moving forward and taking it one meal at a time. I hope people can support me here, I lost 50lb 2 years ago with the support on here.

Oh I'm pleased you have hubby and son, I was just worried about you being alone. Sometimes Christmases with your very immediate family are the best

I'm glad you're feeling more positive and you are totally right, your weight does not define you. I wish people weren't so judgmental. Being mean about size seems to be one of the last things that's "acceptable" in society. Too thin, too fat - seems to be ok to say it. I think it's awful. You never know what's going on to drive that eating behaviour.

What diet plan do you follow? X

 

[jules1981]

just wanted to say good luck with your goals hun. i am slowly loosing the weight and it effect how much i go out and see people but as i have almost lost a stone in 3 weeks its motivating me to do more and tell people about my weightloss to keep me on track. yesterday i fitted into a new pair of jeans which gave me more motivation. WE can do this hun I would like to looses 2 more lbs by Christmas day taking me to 23.7. have a lovely Christmas day with your hubby and son. I have a son too hes almost 3 take care. xxxx

 

[hershey]

Thank you all xxx

Sorry to hear that tracy xx I hope you are on the mend, I really do xx

Jules well done on your losses let's try to be good in this week before xmas. It's a mad time of year to diet but if we do it now we can do it anytime.
My son is 13! He's not much fun at the moment but we are surprising him big time for Xmas. He's been all mopey and un excited as we said we couldn't afford the xbox one he wants so I said I'd be giving him £100 which is what he gets for bdays. He's accepted this and had said he'll save up for xbox one but isn't excited for Xmas day as he knows what he's getting. But some family members have put money towards the xbox and I sold some bits on eBay and made £110 so we've got him the Xbox one and 6 games he wanted!! So I am so excited to see his little teenaged face on Xmas day it's probably a good thing we aren't going out for dinner as I know he won't want to leave him xbox behind! Now he's older the magic of christmas has gone as he doesn't believe but this will make up for it my nearly 3 year old niece is coming over at 7:30 on Xmas morning so her and my son can open their pressies together. It's going to be lovely

I'm using MFP and cal counting. I usually have cereal, toast or porridge for breakfast, soup for lunch and then a good healthy heart meal for tea plus 4 pints of water.
Today I've had wholemeal toast and a cuppa for breakfast, a tin of chunky veg soup and more toast and cheese and I'm doing quorn chilli with brown rice and oven wedges.

I only have brown bread, pasta and rice now as my sister is a qualified nutritionist and has told me horror stories about certain foods and I'm already on the verge of vegetarianism as I have weird food phobias, so the more she tells me the more I HAVE to eat better otherwise I wouldn't eat at all! She has a business that helps people lose weight, she does bootcamps and classes etc but I'm too socially awkward to do any of them. It's frustrating as the help is right there but I can't use it
But I i have proved I can do this before and I want to do it again but keep going and going.

Thank you for your kind words xxx

 

[Roziee]

Hello

Before I give any suggestions, may I ask what your plans are for Xmas and new year? Will you be eating lots? (You totally can and should, it's what Xmas is designed for hehe).

The only reason I ask is because I would suggest by starting to detox your cupboards. Get rid of every naughty food you have. Out of sight, out of mind.

If you cut out junk for 1 week I bet you'll lose 10lbs in your first week.

I am on holiday until 4th January, but I am
More that to help you and buddy you once I'm back. I started out needing to lose over 10 stones and I'm nearly at my half way point. So I understand how you feel.

Please don't be sad anymore. You're in the right place x

 

[hershey]

Hello Before I give any suggestions, may I ask what your plans are for Xmas and new year? Will you be eating lots? (You totally can and should, it's what Xmas is designed for hehe). The only reason I ask is because I would suggest by starting to detox your cupboards. Get rid of every naughty food you have. Out of sight, out of mind. If you cut out junk for 1 week I bet you'll lose 10lbs in your first week. I am on holiday until 4th January, but I am More that to help you and buddy you once I'm back. I started out needing to lose over 10 stones and I'm nearly at my half way point. So I understand how you feel. Please don't be sad anymore. You're in the right place x

Only really got plans for Xmas day at the mo. Dinner and perhaps some wine. I've done an order for the shopping on tesco and I've taken off all the £1 Pringles and nibbles. I can take or leave chocolate so I'd not ordered any of that. I have ordered some nice cheeses and crackers to have with left over meats etc on Boxing Day. As for New Years, no plans. I'm not social at all so will be staying home with hubby and son. I don't drink that much so maybe I'll just treat myself with some nice crisps and houmous.

I really want to prove to myself that I can do this over the xmas period, it's the most food oriented time of the year. If I can get into 2015 weighing less than I do now then it will fill me with much confidence. My birthday is feb 4th so my aim is to lose at least 2 stone by then.

There's no naughty food in the house at the mo, I've eaten it all lol!!! Not much in the fridge either so having to make proper meals with stuff from the freezers as I refuse to fall back on ordering takeaway. I'm sick of takeaways now!!! My body is aching for home cooked food

I've given myself 10 days from yesterday taking myself up to xmas day to lose as much as poss and then I'm going to weigh on a Monday after that.

Thank you for the offer of a buddy you have done so well

I had lost nearly 4 stone and I looked so much more healthy and I felt so much better. Now I've weighed I am exactly a stone heavier than I was before I'd lost that weight. So at the moment my mini aim is 5 stone. Perhaps by easter. I have so much to lose so I know if I stick to my plan it will fall off me. Xx

 

[hershey]

I was hungry by tea time so a big plate of quorn chilli and brown rice was devoured in no time!!

The nights are harder for me as I usually snack after tea but in the past I've had amazing losses by not eating after 7pm. So as its now 7:19 I'm not eating anything else!!

So, day one has been a success I'm very proud of myself

 

[jules1981]

^^well done hun your tea sounds nice I love quorn mince. I TRY not to eat in the eves too, Just my chunky kit kat on a sun night as my treat. xxx

 

[TracyGWill]

Well done on a successful day, hon. That's all you need to do, just one day at a time, and those days will soon add up into weeks and months.

That's a lovely surprise you've got in store for your son, he's going to be over the moon! We did something similar last year for Kathryn, as she wanted a laptop and I was able to get one through a benefits scheme at work. It really is wonderful to see their faces, isn't it?!

Thanks for the good wishes. The knee replacement is definitely the hardest thing I've ever been through, but I'm hoping there'll be a beneficial outcome! xx

 

[hershey]

^^well done hun your tea sounds nice I love quorn mince. I TRY not to eat in the eves too, Just my chunky kit kat on a sun night as my treat. xxx

that's a good idea

I'm going for 10 days straight then counting Christmas dinner with all the trimmings my treat x

 

[hershey]

Well done on a successful day, hon. That's all you need to do, just one day at a time, and those days will soon add up into weeks and months. That's a lovely surprise you've got in store for your son, he's going to be over the moon! We did something similar last year for Kathryn, as she wanted a laptop and I was able to get one through a benefits scheme at work. It really is wonderful to see their faces, isn't it?! Thanks for the good wishes. The knee replacement is definitely the hardest thing I've ever been through, but I'm hoping there'll be a beneficial outcome! xx

I love seeing his face when he's surprised and I've missed it the last couple of years. When we broke the news about santa to him before he started secondary school he started crying and hugged me and said he was so grateful that i'd got him most things he'd asked for over the years. He said he only ever asked santa for them as he knew they were too expensive for me to buy! That was a nice moment

 

[hershey]

I'm about to go to bed so I can officially say day one is done. I resisted snacking and I'm happy

Haven't felt this positive in such a long time.

Now for day 2!

X

 

[TracyGWill]

I love seeing his face when he's surprised and I've missed it the last couple of years. When we broke the news about santa to him before he started secondary school he started crying and hugged me and said he was so grateful that i'd got him most things he'd asked for over the years. He said he only ever asked santa for them as he knew they were too expensive for me to buy! That was a nice moment

Aww, that's really sweet! Kathryn figured it out for herself, I could never bring myself to tell her!! xx

 

[hershey]

Aww, that's really sweet! Kathryn figured it out for herself, I could never bring myself to tell her!! xx

I always thought he'd work it out himself. How old was Kathryn when she worked it out?
Duncan was weeks away from starting secondary school and he still believed!! I had to tell him or risk him be bullied for believing in Father Christmas :/ It was horrid to do but his reaction made up for it xx

 

[TracyGWill]

I always thought he'd work it out himself. How old was Kathryn when she worked it out?
Duncan was weeks away from starting secondary school and he still believed!! I had to tell him or risk him be bullied for believing in Father Christmas :/ It was horrid to do but his reaction made up for it xx

Oh she was already at High School, lol. To be honest, I think she'd been dubious for a while but didn't want to spoil things by saying anything! It's such a sad moment when that part of Christmas comes to an end, isn't it? Of course, we still put our stockings out! xx

 

[hershey]

Oh she was already at High School, lol. To be honest, I think she'd been dubious for a while but didn't want to spoil things by saying anything! It's such a sad moment when that part of Christmas comes to an end, isn't it? Of course, we still put our stockings out! xx

I'm glad my niece is around and I can share her christmas with her as she's just getting in to the whole Father Christmas thing.
We don't do stockings but I'll still put out a mince pie and glass of milk and a carrot x

 

[hershey]

I'm on day 2 now and had a combined breakfast lunch of beans on toast and I had a mouthful and the beans were really sweet and I don't like sweet beans so went to sprinkle a bit of salt on them and the salt pot was open on pour instead of Shake and 1 half of my food was covered in salt

I ate the other half but I'm annoyed lol!! Still
I guess it's less calories!

Got pork chops our for tea. Looking forward to them x