30st 5lb Start Weight

[NessaC31]

Sorry to hear about your panic attack, how are u feeling now? Xx

 

[hershey]

Oh god you poor thing, I used to get those, they are so frightening. Do you feel OK now? I wonder what triggered it.

Yeah I've calmed down a bit now thank you xx

Honestly, the reason I had it *i think* is down to my ex husband. He is the main reason I'm such a mess. He ruined mine and Duncans life until I worked up enough courage to kick him out.
I always had a bit of anxiety and depression but if I ever showed it around him he would go MENTAL at me, and he was violent a cheat, a liar and all the bad things.... So I had to learn to hold in any emotions or even pain (totm was horrendous, me crying in pain would seriously send him over the edge at me).
So now when I'm feeling like Joe is annoyed at me (because I asked him to help make the bed), even though he wasn't annoyed I automatically revert to thinking he's like my ex (who treated me like that for 7 years) who got annoyed at EVERYTHING and then kicked off. So I panicked it's awful, I HATE that 4 years later my ex husbands behaviour is still making me feel like this.

If I told you the horrendous things he said and did to me you would be amazed I got through it!

But Joe is like a beacon of light for me, he's so calm and understanding, there are times i do his head in but he knows why I act like I do. So don't feel sorry for me, I've found my Prince Charming who rescued me just when I needed it even though I'm old (31) and he's only 25! We are an odd looking couple, him being all thin and me not but we get on like a house on fire. Proper pair of weirdos xx

 

[TracyGWill]

Yeah I've calmed down a bit now thank you xx

Honestly, the reason I had it *i think* is down to my ex husband. He is the main reason I'm such a mess. He ruined mine and Duncans life until I worked up enough courage to kick him out.
I always had a bit of anxiety and depression but if I ever showed it around him he would go MENTAL at me, and he was violent a cheat, a liar and all the bad things.... So I had to learn to hold in any emotions or even pain (totm was horrendous, me crying in pain would seriously send him over the edge at me).
So now when I'm feeling like Joe is annoyed at me (because I asked him to help make the bed), even though he wasn't annoyed I automatically revert to thinking he's like my ex (who treated me like that for 7 years) who got annoyed at EVERYTHING and then kicked off. So I panicked it's awful, I HATE that 4 years later my ex husbands behaviour is still making me feel like this.

If I told you the horrendous things he said and did to me you would be amazed I got through it!

But Joe is like a beacon of light for me, he's so calm and understanding, there are times i do his head in but he knows why I act like I do. So don't feel sorry for me, I've found my Prince Charming who rescued me just when I needed it even though I'm old (31) and he's only 25! We are an odd looking couple, him being all thin and me not but we get on like a house on fire. Proper pair of weirdos xx

Aww, I'm so glad you found your prince charming, you really deserve it after all you've been through. xx

 

[hershey]

Thank you

 

[hershey]

So today's food:

1.5 crumpets with butter (the other half got stuck in the toaster :| )

A slice of leersdammer cheese

Jp with salad

A bag of hula hoops

Still feeling positive about it and very much looking forward to Friday WI !

 

[Blondcat]

So today's food: 1.5 crumpets with butter (the other half got stuck in the toaster :| ) A slice of leersdammer cheese Jp with salad A bag of hula hoops Still feeling positive about it and very much looking forward to Friday WI !

Another excellent day.

I too am so sorry to hear about your vile ex and so glad you had the strength to give him the boot. I can't imagine how hard that must have been. But as Tracy said, it led to Prince Charming. Does he have a friend for me?! Lol

You are a strong woman Hershey and I think when you set your mind to something you won't fail.

Bring on Friday!!!!

 

[hershey]

Another excellent day. I too am so sorry to hear about your vile ex and so glad you had the strength to give him the boot. I can't imagine how hard that must have been. But as Tracy said, it led to Prince Charming. Does he have a friend for me?! Lol You are a strong woman Hershey and I think when you set your mind to something you won't fail. Bring on Friday!!!!

I'm sure your knight in shining armour will soon be along to sweep you off your feet in no time x

 

[hershey]

READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!

I actually slept. Sleep entered my being and I had it for most of the night! What an odd feeling that is! To not be awake all night long listening to the cats tear around the house like crazy things and my son talk in his sleep!!

Long may it continue

Last night after my shower I sat at my dressing table and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I wasn't horrified at what i saw. I'm talking about my face, the rest of me is too horrific for words. It looks as though I may have lost a little weight off my face which is nice and it was strange to see myself and not automatically look away. I took some photos last week of my face to compare in 4 weeks time so hopefully there will be some difference.

My (twin thin) sister (who runs her own health nutrition weightloss clinic) (ironic isn't it) wants to join me and Joe for the meal we are going out for on our bday as she said she can't believe I'm leaving the house. I told her she can come (with my 2 year old niece) as long as she doesn't see me between now and then.
The last time she saw me was a week or two ago and I'm in my pjs with bad hair and I looked a fat mess. I want that to be what she remembers so hopefully on my bday I will have lost a bit of weight and she'll notice

I've not told anyone about the PMcK thing I'm doing. Not because I'm ashamed or anything but because I will tell them when they ask 'wow you look amazing how did you do it?'

It's annoying having a sister who runs that type of business as she wants to make me her project and she keeps nagging me to try her diet and all this nonsense but I am determined to do it on my own and I get so much support on here it's definitely spurring me on. X

 

[jules1981]

You are doing fab hun and so glad you have your prince My hubby is 3 years younger than me

I am sorry about your panic attack I get them to and am on anti depressants plus some other meds

cant wait to see how much weight you have lost by the time your birthday gets here its so good you are going to leave the house-well done you.

xxxx

 

[hershey]

You are doing fab hun and so glad you have your prince My hubby is 3 years younger than me I am sorry about your panic attack I get them to and am on anti depressants plus some other meds cant wait to see how much weight you have lost by the time your birthday gets here its so good you are going to leave the house-well done you. xxxx

I'm so excited to see if there's a difference when I compare the pics in my dress! I really hope so!!

You have a toy boy too lol you can't help
Who you fall for!

It's so odd to have not left the house for nearly 7 weeks. And I've not driven in that long either so I wonder how that will be. Xx

 

[hershey]

I had 2 crumpets for breakfast that was at about 10am and I'm still not hungry! I don't even know what to make for tea, it's just me and Joe tonight as Dunc stays at his grandads every Wednesday night. Usually on a weds night we'd chill out and order in but not tonight. I couldnt even imagine eating Chinese or indian right now. It's makes me feel sick thinking about how much I ate! Will have to have a rummage in the fridge and come up with something x

 

[ladyfelsham]

Oh my sweetheart, you ex is such a (rude word, related to women's bits) to have put you through such an awful time - and really it's his insecurities that are at fault, and nothing to do with you. My dad was a bit like that and I still have remnants of apology behaviour that pop up from time to time.

But how fab that you've found your soulmate, you sound wonderful together. I am very excited about your journey - seeing changes in your face, planning the trip out, trying on new clothes - this is GOOD stuff! arty0019:

 

[jayde1148]

So glad you now have a fab new hubby and new life hun. These things do effect us but you are fighting back and that's great. I really cannot believe how well this app is working for you it is incredible. How often do you listen? Does it get lose and need a fill like a real band? X

 

[hershey]

Oh my sweetheart, you ex is such a (rude word, related to women's bits) to have put you through such an awful time - and really it's his insecurities that are at fault, and nothing to do with you. My dad was a bit like that and I still have remnants of apology behaviour that pop up from time to time. But how fab that you've found your soulmate, you sound wonderful together. I am very excited about your journey - seeing changes in your face, planning the trip out, trying on new clothes - this is GOOD stuff! arty0019:

Thank you for your support
I'm much better than I was 4 years so hopefully one day I'll be totally rid of him in my mind. He used to beg me to lose weight coz he was ashamed of me so when I get to goal it's a massive middle finger up to him! Xx

 

[hershey]

So glad you now have a fab new hubby and new life hun. These things do effect us but you are fighting back and that's great. I really cannot believe how well this app is working for you it is incredible. How often do you listen? Does it get lose and need a fill like a real band? X

I listen each night and I have to check it twice a day and there's a new rule each day. 1st was to not drink while I'm eating, 2nd was not to eat soups, casseroles or runny food, and today's was to chew my food throughly.
Then I listen to the gastric band op session each night (for 7 days, not sure what happens on the 8th day) and it readjusts it each time I listen. I think after the 7 days I listen to it once a month to adjust it like a real one.

It's so easy!! So so easy!! I recommend everyone to do it!! Let's all see what I can lose in a month and then people can be convinced it works I am already convinced!! X

 

[hershey]

Joe wanted Chinese for tea! So he ordered 2 portions of southern fried chicken, some chips and a pot of bbq sauce.

So I had about 15 chips and little sauce for dipping and that was enough for me

Today's food wasn't that healthy BUT that aside, it's a miracle that I'm not even bothered that I didn't order my FAVOURITE food (Chinese) when joe had his!! This is a massive thing for me! Massive!

Tomorrow I will have a better healthier day with more veg. I feel like I've had a brain transplant! Xx

 

[ladyfelsham]

This is fab to read hun, really fab! I will give it a go once I've got a few weeks of SW under my belt

 

[jayde1148]

Amazing, and just think of all the money you will save! X

 

[hershey]

This is fab to read hun, really fab! I will give it a go once I've got a few weeks of SW under my belt

Yay I hope it works as well as you x

 

[hershey]

Amazing, and just think of all the money you will save! X

I know!! It's brill even on weekly food shopping because in total im probably eating 1 plate of food of day! X