So - I have to lose the equivalent of a small woman. Or a very small woman wearing a heavy rucksack.
Unfortunately, amputating my lower limbs in order to achieve a respectable number on the scales is not an option. So I have to do it the long, slow way. That's fair enough, I guess - after all I didn't turn into this huge chunky monkey overnight, did I?
I can't say I was always overweight - I was pretty sporty and fit as a teen. I think it all went downhill at Uni - I started downing 6 pints of lager of an evening, and took up smoking, and eating kebabs as I staggered home after the pub. Then the career started - working in an office, sitting on my ever spreading backside all day - having lots of pub lunches ("Yes I'll have chips with mine please") followed by an Olympic shotputter-sized portion of whatever I made for tea, followed by a bottle of white wine..... The hours at work got longer, the stress levels increased, the time to shop and cook decreased - hence the local Indian Takeaway got to the stage they knew our household's favourite order by heart and started giving us freebies to thank us for our loyal custom!
Twenty years passed .... (WTF?!?!) and I am no longer the slim tall blonde girl. I am now the Amazonian with high blood pressure, a triple chin and a stomach ravaged by years of overeating, as well as carting around an 11lb baby. (Yes, really.)
I'm 5ft 10 and a half - and 21st 12. My husband is 5ft 11 and a very trim 13 st. He is very supportive of my new plan to lose weight. He probably imagines there will be more sex if I do.
So why do I want to lose weight? So many reasons.
I am sick of:
-My fat thighs rubbing together.
-Having to buy industrial sized bras on the internet (42J, anyone?)
-Only being able to shop at plus sized shops , particularly the famous one beginning with E .. yuk yuk yuk nasty.
-Having to ask for a seatbelt extender on flights (why are they always freakin' ORANGE!)
-Being puffed out after the slightest exertion
-Dreading social occasions
-Doing the Walk Of Shame into the sea or to the pool on holiday, trying in vain to suck in my stomach as other women peer at me through their sunglasses, thinking "Jeez, at least I don't look as bad as HER!"
-Worrying about my health
-Wanting to punch skinny women who whine on about wanting to lose half a stone in the face.
That will do for the moment.
So anyway. Here goes. Wish me luck.
Val
Unfortunately, amputating my lower limbs in order to achieve a respectable number on the scales is not an option. So I have to do it the long, slow way. That's fair enough, I guess - after all I didn't turn into this huge chunky monkey overnight, did I?
I can't say I was always overweight - I was pretty sporty and fit as a teen. I think it all went downhill at Uni - I started downing 6 pints of lager of an evening, and took up smoking, and eating kebabs as I staggered home after the pub. Then the career started - working in an office, sitting on my ever spreading backside all day - having lots of pub lunches ("Yes I'll have chips with mine please") followed by an Olympic shotputter-sized portion of whatever I made for tea, followed by a bottle of white wine..... The hours at work got longer, the stress levels increased, the time to shop and cook decreased - hence the local Indian Takeaway got to the stage they knew our household's favourite order by heart and started giving us freebies to thank us for our loyal custom!
Twenty years passed .... (WTF?!?!) and I am no longer the slim tall blonde girl. I am now the Amazonian with high blood pressure, a triple chin and a stomach ravaged by years of overeating, as well as carting around an 11lb baby. (Yes, really.)
I'm 5ft 10 and a half - and 21st 12. My husband is 5ft 11 and a very trim 13 st. He is very supportive of my new plan to lose weight. He probably imagines there will be more sex if I do.
So why do I want to lose weight? So many reasons.
I am sick of:
-My fat thighs rubbing together.
-Having to buy industrial sized bras on the internet (42J, anyone?)
-Only being able to shop at plus sized shops , particularly the famous one beginning with E .. yuk yuk yuk nasty.
-Having to ask for a seatbelt extender on flights (why are they always freakin' ORANGE!)
-Being puffed out after the slightest exertion
-Dreading social occasions
-Doing the Walk Of Shame into the sea or to the pool on holiday, trying in vain to suck in my stomach as other women peer at me through their sunglasses, thinking "Jeez, at least I don't look as bad as HER!"
-Worrying about my health
-Wanting to punch skinny women who whine on about wanting to lose half a stone in the face.
That will do for the moment.
So anyway. Here goes. Wish me luck.
Val
