You're doing better than you think
Hello AJ
Long time no speak but a little bird told me you had posted so I wanted to reply. When I was in the middle of Foundation and beyond, your posts kept me going because you were always at the next stage/phase and could give us insight into what lay ahead.
If it's any 'consolation' - I'm not sure it's the right word - I think you are doing better than you think. I still go to my Management group, even though I was officially 'done' with LighterLife by the end of 2007. I have come to realise that going to (my) class - where there is absolutely no pressure to buy any more products (just in case people reading this may wonder) has helped. It hasn't stopped me putting on the pounds - absolutely not - but it has stopped me beating myself up for 'failing' because I haven't stayed at my lowest weight. I regularly see people who are 6, 12, 18 months and beyond finishing Route to Management. And it's still a struggle - some of the time but not all of the time.
Ironically, friends and family have since said that they were very worried about me at the end of LighterLife because I was looking scrawny and old and...ill!! Go figure! So, although I would love to be super slinky, it's just not sustainable in the long term. Well, not for me anyway because I am not prepared to do what it takes and not in a position to do what maintaining such a low weight entails. I am sharing this because I think LighterLife takes you to a low weight and then it's up to you to find out what works for you. In the longer term and maybe where you're at now, is to find out what IS going to work for you. In the longer term. So many of my group - me included - have debated about going back on the packs. But our Counsellor always asks us to look at why we think that 'just doing abstinence' for a while will solve the challenges that lie at the core of our issues with food.
The main point of my post, however, was to quote my ever-inspiring LighterLife Counsellor who constantly reminds us that if we can hold our weight for five years, we've got a good chance of getting it cracked for good. Anything less and it's probably not going to stay off (the weight, that is). Somewhere on my blog, I've got a more accurate quote. So it's going to take time. She also quotes the Cycle of Change (I'll see if I can find more info' on it) - we keep learning. Each relapse is just another opportunity to learn.
So, when we struggle (which 90% of my group do, each week), she reminds us that we are still at the early stages and that we are doing well. And, usually, there is someone in our group who is doing well and that seems to give us all a new impetus.
Losing weight does not mean happy ever after; I learnt that the hard way. For so much of my adult life, I put so many things on hold - because I was too fat and then when I lost the weight, guess what? Some of the problems didn't go away and that was hard. I think it's fantastic that you are seeing someone to talk through the other private matters that came up during your LL journey.
It was great to hear from Chunky Chicken and KD (Karion Dieting) - hello, you two - and they are right. And hello to the lovely Katie, who is doing so well, second time round.
Maintenance is the REAL challenge. I am beginning to realise that we each have our own personal triggers and it's up to us to find out what works. For me tiredness is a massive trigger to overeat, as is feeling overwhelmed (with work, housework, and even putting on the pounds after all that effort last year!) and, if I really think about it there are a million other triggers! And they can change, just like the weather (oh, and that's definitely a trigger)!
AJ - you are certainly NOT alone and the fact that you came back and posted is such a positive step. I hope you are not giving yourself a hard time for not staying the same weight; letting go of perfectionism is another big issue for many of us, particularly me.
I send you much love and to everyone else on the journey of finding peace with food. When the diet is over, the real work begins, particularly with our minds.
Mrs Lard xxxxxxxxxxx
Hello AJ
Long time no speak but a little bird told me you had posted so I wanted to reply. When I was in the middle of Foundation and beyond, your posts kept me going because you were always at the next stage/phase and could give us insight into what lay ahead.
If it's any 'consolation' - I'm not sure it's the right word - I think you are doing better than you think. I still go to my Management group, even though I was officially 'done' with LighterLife by the end of 2007. I have come to realise that going to (my) class - where there is absolutely no pressure to buy any more products (just in case people reading this may wonder) has helped. It hasn't stopped me putting on the pounds - absolutely not - but it has stopped me beating myself up for 'failing' because I haven't stayed at my lowest weight. I regularly see people who are 6, 12, 18 months and beyond finishing Route to Management. And it's still a struggle - some of the time but not all of the time.
Ironically, friends and family have since said that they were very worried about me at the end of LighterLife because I was looking scrawny and old and...ill!! Go figure! So, although I would love to be super slinky, it's just not sustainable in the long term. Well, not for me anyway because I am not prepared to do what it takes and not in a position to do what maintaining such a low weight entails. I am sharing this because I think LighterLife takes you to a low weight and then it's up to you to find out what works for you. In the longer term and maybe where you're at now, is to find out what IS going to work for you. In the longer term. So many of my group - me included - have debated about going back on the packs. But our Counsellor always asks us to look at why we think that 'just doing abstinence' for a while will solve the challenges that lie at the core of our issues with food.
The main point of my post, however, was to quote my ever-inspiring LighterLife Counsellor who constantly reminds us that if we can hold our weight for five years, we've got a good chance of getting it cracked for good. Anything less and it's probably not going to stay off (the weight, that is). Somewhere on my blog, I've got a more accurate quote. So it's going to take time. She also quotes the Cycle of Change (I'll see if I can find more info' on it) - we keep learning. Each relapse is just another opportunity to learn.
So, when we struggle (which 90% of my group do, each week), she reminds us that we are still at the early stages and that we are doing well. And, usually, there is someone in our group who is doing well and that seems to give us all a new impetus.
Losing weight does not mean happy ever after; I learnt that the hard way. For so much of my adult life, I put so many things on hold - because I was too fat and then when I lost the weight, guess what? Some of the problems didn't go away and that was hard. I think it's fantastic that you are seeing someone to talk through the other private matters that came up during your LL journey.
It was great to hear from Chunky Chicken and KD (Karion Dieting) - hello, you two - and they are right. And hello to the lovely Katie, who is doing so well, second time round.
Maintenance is the REAL challenge. I am beginning to realise that we each have our own personal triggers and it's up to us to find out what works. For me tiredness is a massive trigger to overeat, as is feeling overwhelmed (with work, housework, and even putting on the pounds after all that effort last year!) and, if I really think about it there are a million other triggers! And they can change, just like the weather (oh, and that's definitely a trigger)!
AJ - you are certainly NOT alone and the fact that you came back and posted is such a positive step. I hope you are not giving yourself a hard time for not staying the same weight; letting go of perfectionism is another big issue for many of us, particularly me.
I send you much love and to everyone else on the journey of finding peace with food. When the diet is over, the real work begins, particularly with our minds.
Mrs Lard xxxxxxxxxxx
