a blog/diary entry of my 20months of Slimming World

[IanH]

(more of these can be found online in the tripod link in my signature)



My 20 Months of Slimming World Journey:

I wrote a blog like this at 18months (and one week) saying I didn't think I'd be writing one of these blogs again – at least not as a loser. I had just claimed target after loosing 14st2lb over that 18months and was ready to move my journey from loosing to maintaining.

Well unfortunately fate had other plans for me. I claimed target on June 14th 2010, and now, almost two months later, am back at target on August 2nd 2010.

Except it's a different target. But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

I claimed my target in June, and went away from group that evening happy about what I had achieved and ready to face the new challenges ahead. Except they never came – target + 1 week, and I loose 3.5lb, the following week I maintained, and the week after 1.5lb off. I'm back as a paying member (and I was so looking forward to my £5 a week extra) and facing having to put at least 2lb on to get back into target, or resetting target. There's no way I could deliberately eat to put the weight on, in fact, I had been trying and was unhappy doing so – so I reset target on that third week.

It was strange though those first few weeks of being a target member. I used to find myself reaching for the things I hadn't been having whilst loosing the weight, but ultimately were the things I used to eat that helped put the weight on. But I only reached for them... I never ate any – why – because through food optimising and Slimming World, I had learnt that I don't need to eat that kind of food anymore – the high fat, high sugar addictions I used to have and why would being at target mean that all that suddenly changed? No way. I don't eat that crap anymore and target is not an excuse to start, for if I start, then I'm likely not to be able to finish and the weight would start going back on again – and I've worked far too hard to allow that.
The decision to reset was made on July 5th 2010, but my July was full of wonderment and amazement even before that decision was made.

July 4th saw me, and 63 other guys invited to Slimming World's head office to the "Man of the Year" competition. 64 guys who amongst us had lost over a staggering 460 stone. 64 blokes who would spend the morning sharing with each other in small groups about our journeys – with 5 minutes allocated to each of us. 5 minutes sounds like a long time, but it's very difficult to get everything you want to say into 5 minutes. The morning was spent in groups of 10 or 12 as the National Semi-Finals, with the 12 finalists being announced after lunch. Let's just say – the lunch was more then enough reason for being there.

Even though I had been to Slimming World's "Greatest Loser" competition in April, I was again humbled being there to listen to the 11 stories that were shared that morning. I was even more humbled being announced as one of the 12 national finalists after lunch. Having to give my 5 minute speech again that afternoon was tiring but listening to everyone else's stories that afternoon, on top of the journeys heard in the morning was inspiring and mind blowing. You can't help but be touched by the struggles we have gone through, the moments that lead to the moment that we walked through the doors for our first group meeting to the time we arrived in Derbyshire that morning. I'm humbled and respect them all for their journey, their candour and their willingness to share their stories with everyone else in the room.

I didn't "win" the "Man of the Year" title. But then I never started this journey to win a competition. But everyone there was a winner in his own right – we had all taken that first step through the doors, and made the commitment to change our lives for the better and stuck with it and, as clichéd as it may sound, that makes us all winners. But it's not just the 64 of us there that day, but every man, woman who does the same that counts.

But my fantastic July didn't stop with "Man of the Year". July 11th saw me do something that I could only have dreamt of 20 months previously when I started this journey. I had always been a fan of walking, but as the weight piled on – I stopped walking. I had started walking again about May 2009 as the weight came off, initially just to town on a Saturday, then both in and out of town on a Saturday and then at weekends and any other chance I got – if I could walk there I would. On July 11th though I did a walk I didn't think I'd do, though I had thought about it previously as a way of celebrating loosing the 10stones in late 2009. I took up the invite issued at "Greatest Loser" and walked up Snowdon. Fantastic company with some people from a few of the North Wales Slimming World groups and a wonderful view from the top.

But my 20th month of Slimming World doesn't stop there either. I had been looking for something in late 2009 to celebrate having lost 10stone. There had been two ideas mooted – the second was Snowdon, but late October/early November and Welsh Mountains do not mix well, not as a single person. The first idea had been ruled out due to still being too heavy to meet their weight requirements – jumping out of a plane.

It was originally intended that I would do the jump at the end of March when I hit my first target of weighing 15stone, but in the end that didn't happen due to being sick in early February. Instead I put it on the back burner till I knew I was healthy and then (after announcing my intentions on stage at Greatest Loser) at the start of May – I booked it, 31st July, tandem skydive raising funds for the NSPCC. Too many good things clicking together to miss the opportunity – and with knowing that target was around the corner by that time, I was going to use this to celebrate hitting target.

Oh boy, what a rush... Strapped to an experienced skydiver, and literally falling out of a plane at 12,500 feet, travelling at 120mph in freefall before the parachute deploys and then seemingly floating to the ground. It was a thrill like one I had never experienced before but hopefully will again one day. And it brought home that regardless what life throws at me, I'm now in control of my weight and that I am now living, rather then the existence I had before. There is so much more I can do now then I could 20months previously – and I don't mean walking up mountains or falling from 12,500 feet in the air. I can walk, I can run, I can fit into spaces I could only dream of. I can buy clothes from the high street now that I'm a 32/34 inch waist and not the 54inch waist I used to be.

The parachute jump was the 31st July. The end of a brilliant and inspiring month for me, but I had hoped I would be at my reset target by the time of the jump (even though I made my original target in mid-June). I didn't make it. But I didn't worry about that, I had done my best, I had lost more then half my starting weight by the start of June, and I was jumping out of a plane. That remaining 3lb to target would come when it was ready to. Well, I need not have worried. I weighed in on the 2nd August – only two days after the jump, and I had lost 3.5lb. 20months of Slimming World, 2 years to the day of another significant milestone in my life, and I was at target again after loosing 14st9.5lb. As my wonderful July didn't start till July 4th, I think I can allow myself the licence of saying that that month from July 4th was quite simply – fantastic.

And none of it possible without having lost the weight, and that wouldn't have been possible without Slimming World and Food Optimising and the support/inspiration and help of everyone I've met along the way due to that, the two consultants I've been with, the two groups I've been with, and others from Facebook and other sites. This journey in the end is a solitary one, but there's nothing as good as company along the way – and I can't praise the company I've had enough – thank you all.

Maybe this time around – the next time you see a blog from me – it'll be about maintaining and not carrying on loosing – I certainly hope so anyhow.

 

[Shrinking_Bev]

What a fantastic post! Ian, you're a true inspiration. Thank you for sharing.

Massive well done on all you have achieved, and good luck on the next leg of your journey......maintaining!

xxx

 

[time2bslim]

I have just taken the time to read all your posts and see your photo's etc. WOWSEE - you are a true inspiration.

I have only (I know I shouldn't say only) another 2.5 stones to lose and I thought that was a long journey for me. YOU have done absolutely exceptionally well to continue on for all those months and get to goal. YOU deserve that goal.

Well done you !

Hope you maintain well - congratulations again.

 

[IanH]

I wrote this longer version about the same time - but didn't post it anywhere.. but not point writing something if it's not going to be seen.

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It’s usually only birthdays, death, (and hopefully – if you’re married) wedding anniversaries that have dates that stick in your head for whatever reason. For me though – there’s another date. 1st December 2008. It’s the day I walked through the doors of a Slimming World group near work and became a member – and I haven’t looked back since.

I’ve had issues with food throughout my adult life – in fact they started as a teenager, and went from there. Suffering from depression in my early adult years – one of my only “joys” was food, and I was really your classic comfort eater – I ate because I felt good afterwards and never mind the consequences. This then just became a habit, and I would eat more and more, and although at times I would think I’ve got to stop this – truly my heart wasn’t in any attempt to stop the eating and loose the weight – even though I knew that I was eating myself into an early grave the way I was going. Nothing was going to tempt me away from a life that really consisted of waiting for my next, huge, meal and the amount I was eating to just “keep going” (or that was my excuse anyhow) was, looking back at it now, shameful. I did from time to time try to loose the weight, even joining Slimming World in 2002 for 5 months – but never stuck to it, normally because the root reasons for wanting to loose the weight was that I was doing it to “make someone else happy” or because I thought I should for “someone else” – never because I truly wanted to.

Never being one for breakfast, I would start eating at the works canteen at about 10am or so, a few cans of fizzy pop (diet if they had it but frequently full sugar stuff instead), a sausage roll or two, and a few chocolate bars. Couple of sandwiches at lunch time, two or three packs of crisps, maybe a cake or two, and more fizzy drink. And another two or three cans in the afternoon; any left over sausage rolls in the afternoon. On the way home, I’d stop at my local shops and buy even more chocolate, cakes, fizzy drinks, pork pies, etc. and eat them all within an hour of getting home before falling asleep on the sofa, and waking up at 10pm or later and then ordering in a takeaway four or five times a week.

As my size grew, I became more lethargic, and less likely to go out anywhere – and my size made it easier for me to hide away from looking for a partner – which at the time was something that suited me to a tee – I wasn’t interested in finding a partner – I was me, and if someone came along who saw past the weight to the real person beneath – then good – anyone though who judged purely on external appearances – I didn’t need to know. But deep down, more then anything, I was scared of being hurt if I did find someone after a few failed relationships, and so anything to stop that happening was good.

Then about 4 or so years ago, something clicked, and I said I’ve got to do something about it, but still, couldn’t quite get started – “oh next month will do” if thought about it. I still did nothing with all the warning signs that were presenting themselves. Standing up was painful in the knees, walking was painful in the knees and hips, my flexibility and mobility went down, and I thought nothing of the size 52/54 trousers I was having to buy – at extremely increased prices. My old (and it was old) office chair broke as I tried to push it back on its wheels (the wheel spigot snapped out of the plastic wheel) so the company gave me a new chair. Within three days of putting it together, the base had snapped into three parts – the supplier immediately questioned the weight of the person sitting in the chair when it was reported back to them apparently. I still didn’t do anything about my weight though, believing I was about 22st, and thinking that although I could loose some, I didn’t look too bad – even with at that weight.

Then early in 2007 one of my brothers announced he was getting married, but I still kept putting the “diet” off. It’ll wait another month, I’ll start next week. Of course - next week never comes – does it? So, with my brother getting married in August 2008, it’s July and I’m struggling to find good looking clothes that fit, but with the mindset that it’s now too late to start. How I wish now that I had made that start way back in 2007, or even the start of 2008, that way maybe I could have avoided the personal pain that was to come. Firstly was the final realisation that being single wasn’t good for me – I was there in a room full mainly of couples and felt very lonely.

The wedding happened at the end of August that year, and by mid-September I had been sent the CD with the pictures on it. I found one picture with me on it, and on seeing it, I literally burst into tears. I was by far twice the size of anyone else in that photo, the standard length tie just about reaching half way down my front, compared to everyone else’s who went down to almost their belt line. My jacket would only just about do up, if I breathed in and didn’t try to sit down or anything, and in short, I looked totally disgusting as far I was concerned. That was it – as soon as I could, I was signing back up to Slimming World – it worked for me for a while back in 2002/2003 when I lost just over 5 stones in the 5 or so months I was there, and it can work for me now. But I didn’t immediately go sign up at a group – I knew I needed time to make sure that I was doing this for me, and just to get ready.

The final push though came a few weeks after the photos, when my other brother, who had already announced his engagement, called to ask me to be an usher at his wedding. Definitely no way I was ruining another set of wedding photos. D-Day (“Diet-Day”) was picked and I was going to go for it. 1st December 2008 was D-Day and hence always in my mind.

I went to a group around the corner from the office, too ashamed even after all that time, to go back to the group I had success in the first time around, and without any hesitation signed up on the spot with a 12 week countdown – in order, being the typically tight Yorkshire man I am, to ensure that I wouldn’t waste anything and ensure that for at least the next 3 months, I’d be given it a solid attempt – though, secretly, like a lot of people who knew that I was signing up, I was expecting to fail like I’ve done every time before. Except this time, it was about me. I wasn’t doing this to please anyone, or because I felt I should – I was doing this because I wanted to loose some of the fat. I just didn’t know the size of the problem at this time.

I stood on those scales for the first time, and was almost at tears, and quite audibly swore – the 22or so stone I thought I weighed had had another 5 and half stone added to it – 27stone 8.5lbs. And when I got back to the car – I did cry. The consultant came around the new starters in Image Therapy and asked what we’d like in the first week and I joked “All of it but realistically I’d be happy with a few pounds”. I went away and shopped to be on plan, and started the next day eating from the food optimising books and eating very well, and in similar quantities as to what I had been eating. The following Monday came around and I stood on those scales, convinced there was no way I could have lost seeing how much I had been eating. I looked down and felt the disappointment in my stomach at seeing that 8.5lb figure still. It took the lady doing the weigh-in to point out that the 27 had changed to a 26. I’d lost a stone in my first week – I was gob-smacked, and walked away in a daze to sit down. I knew at that point that I was on the right track.

My large losses continued to come, by the first weigh-in in January 2009 – I’d lost 2stone. February 2009 I was 3 stone lighter. I set myself the challenge to be under 20stone (fully expecting the large losses to start to disappear in time) by my brother’s wedding on August 1st 2009. I wasn’t just under 20st, but got my 8st award the Monday before the wedding – meaning I was 19st8lbs, and on course for the target I had set to be 15st by the time of next birthday at the end of March 2010. The wedding was also my Slimming World ephinany – I started this with “Diet Day” – but that day – I turned away from a load of old favourites at the buffet table - it was no longer a diet, it was just how I ate. Food optimising was my way of life – and I couldn’t wait to see where it would lead me next.

But there were some important lessons to learn coming around the corner for me. The target based approach (giving myself occasions to work towards being a particular weight or having had a particular total weight loss) was working – but I still wanted to get to my 15st weight – much much faster then it was happening. But then someone said to me when I was disappointed at a small gain one week - to look at it accumulatively – what had I achieved over the last 4 or 8 weeks in terms of losses? What did that work out at per week? It turned out to be that I was still averaging a 2.75lb a week loss and I was happy with that and no way was I going to let one blip ruin that streak.

I also realised how important it was for me to have those little goals in mind – initially it was my brother’s wedding, and then it was that overall wish to be 15stone. But I needed something sooner then that and decided I wanted to be celebrating my 10stone weight loss by Halloween that year. Not with anything particular in mind at that time, but just to give myself a target to work towards. The key thing though it was always a reasonable target – if I stuck with the principles of food optimising and just went for it – but at the same time – goals I’d be happy to be flexible with – if I didn’t quite make it – so long as I tried my best and got most the way there – then that’d be good enough for me.

Then I looked for a way to celebrate that 10stone award – one idea was walking up Snowdon – something I’d thought about before, but being as big as I was wouldn’t have been possible – but in November would be potentially risky to attempt. The other was more wild – to do a parachute jump – but discovered even after loosing 10st that I would be too heavy – but not if I made that big target in March 2010. Even though I am scared of heights – it seemed something to work to. I settled on treating myself to a new watch for the 10st award though.

2009 soon became 2010 and after some consideration, I filled in the forms for the Slimming World “Greatest Loser” competition, not really expecting to get anywhere. By mid-March – I hit that 15st target weight I had in mind – but didn’t call target there – I already knew I wouldn’t be happy there. The end of that week, I got my invite to the finals for “Greatest Loser” – I was bowled over and it was the next day that it suddenly occurred to me exactly what I had lost on this journey. I had never really thought about the weight in terms of weight, just a means of keeping score – if I kept on plan, the score went up, if I deviated the score went down – and no-one likes to loose points. But due to some illness in February I wasn’t ready for the parachute jump. But was ready for another mini-target. This was middle of March, the finals in central London wasn’t until the end of April. I had lost, at the time the entry forms went in, 12st7.5lb. I wanted to be able to say I’d lost at least another stone by the finals.

The finals presented a new challenge though. I needed a new suit – again. The 64/66 chest, 54inch waist jacket and trousers I wore to my brother’s wedding in August 2008 and been replaced with a 52inch chest/45inch waist suit for the 2009 wedding and again was too big. I was flabbergasted to have to buy a 42inch chest, 36inch waist suit for Greatest Loser. My shirt size had also decreased from a 21inch neck to a 16 inch. My clothes shopping had moved from specialist internet retailers to the high street – but certainly not un-noticed – the first time I brought from a high street store – I almost broke down in tears at the checkout – not in shame, but in pure joy at realising what freedom was around the corner. And moving below the 40inch waist was even more special – I have worked for a high street clothing retailer for the last 4 years – and now I was able to buy from our own men’s-wear range if I wanted to. Even better, the 36inch trousers have been replaced by 34inch ones. I can go into a store and buy what I want – something I don’t think I’d ever been able to do as an adult. The advert said that Australians wouldn’t give a XXXX for anything – well I no longer have to take a 5X, and in fact if I buy anything sized “L” it’s for “Loose” not “Large”. Even better, since then I’ve dropped another trouser size, and probably not that far off needing to buy 32inch waist trousers.

The week before the finals though, I knew there wasn’t a chance of me hitting that being a stone lighter target, being out by about 5lbs. So I just set my mind to loosing some of that 5lb and knowing I had given it my all. Two days before the trip to London though, I weighed in having lost that 5lb. I was ecstatic at achieving it even though I didn’t believe that I could but I figure that it could have so easily gone wrong if I had allowed myself to worry too much about hitting that stone loss. “Greatest Loser” Finals in London however was fantastic. So many inspiring stories, and I was happy to just be there, never mind picking up the 9th place trophy. But there I was in the middle of London, and announcing that I was going to do the parachute jump – no backing out now I guess and two days later – it was booked – I was going to do this, and raise money for the NSPCC in the process.

I kept on loosing weight, but I knew that I wasn’t far off calling target by this time. By early June 2010, I announced on my Facebook page the following: “LOST PROPERTY ANNOUNCEMENT – if anyone sees the other me out there, please tell it to get lost as I never want to be reunited with it again”. I had gotten to be half of my original starting weight; I had lost a “me”. This was totally beyond my dreams when I first started Slimming World but there I was. I couldn’t believe it. June the 14th 2010 – I called target weighing in at a fantastic 13st 6.5lb. No-one could believe it, and I remember that night in group – the applause that night was fantastic, I could have cried in joy that night.

But I didn’t stay at target for long – I couldn’t stop loosing and it got to the point of having to put weight on or reset target, so start of July I did just that. Target dropped another half stone.

July 2010 though was a fantastic month though. I made the national finals for “Man of the Year” and the following weekend, I did that walk up Snowdon and although it was tiring, I’d happily do it again – just for the views from the top that we had that day. But the end of July was the crowning moment. I kept true to my word and performed the tandem parachute jump that I had been talking about since October 2009 and then promised everyone whilst on stage at “Greatest Loser”. Oh boy – what a thrill. 12,500 feet up tandem jump – I could only wildly dream 20months previously that I would be able to consider something like that, never mind actually being able to do it and I didn’t even have to “squeeze” under the 15st maximum weight limit – I was so far below that I didn’t need to.

The idea though behind the jump was to celebrate being at target – albeit originally the 15st target. By having reset the target at the start of July – I wasn’t at target for the jump, but that didn’t matter – I’d be there in a few weeks without a doubt. I need not have worried though – at the next weigh-in 2 days later, I hit my new target and being only the 2nd August – I can say it helped closed July on such a high – and more or less being 20months since starting this journey too.

I’ve learnt so much over the last 20 months, and have had so much happen in my life that I couldn’t have done before my weight loss – walking up Snowdon, jumping out of a plane, or simply just having the energy to go out walking when I like (which is most nights and every weekend). I’ve met so many wonderful people at group and through other means such as the Facebook pages.

I didn’t have a life before, I merely existed, now days I feel that I’m living, and I have no intention of giving that feeling up. I have energy now for all that stuff – instead of being in pain just getting up and walking, I can walk for 13miles just for fun, and sometimes go out as part of an informal group for shorter walks around local footpaths. The group all know about the weight loss – so don’t question when I sit there with fruit instead of more sugary treats, or a diet coke instead of a beer at the end of the walk – not that I couldn’t have a pint if I wanted to – just prefer not to. My family and friends have all been behind me every step of the way with nothing but support. As well as the energy levels going up, the confidence has shot up – in fact it was one of the first changes I noticed – the fact that I could engage in conversations with people in my day-to-day life that I wasn’t able to before, and more importantly – that I’d stand up for myself and my beliefs when I need to.

And all this, without ever going hungry or eating “fad” foods, drinking shakes, or anything like that? Shouldn’t be possible, but with food optimising – it is and it has been. I used to eat the takeaways because it was “too late” to start cooking. But with a bit of planning, a roasted chicken breast and steamed vegetables is ready just as quickly as it takes a chicken kebab and chips to arrive from the take-away. So no excuse for fast food – with just a bit of thought the night before and everything is ready for me – regardless of what time I get home and my job does mean that I do sometimes have to work extremely late – sometimes with little or no notice, but if I know I’m going to be exceptionally late home – then there’s nearly always one pre-cooked and frozen meal (Quorn chilli, or a pasta in a home made tomato/mushroom/onion sauce, or a speed vegetable soup) in the freezer from a bulk cooking session that I can take out the night before, let defrost in the fridge and just heat up in a pan for 10minutes when I get home. On the days I get no notice – I can always go for the very basics – a Syn free instant mash, Quorn sausage and baked beans or mushy peas – ready in 15minutes, and very filling and best of all – Syn free.

I couldn’t have done this journey on my own, and even now, back at target for a second time, I have no intention of stopping going to group – I’m here, and I’m here to stay. Slimming World and Food Optimising has changed my life – there can be no doubt about that. It has made me a better person – there’s one comment from someone at work, whilst we were discussing the before/after of the weight loss who said “I can’t remember much about the old Ian, but I do remember him being much grumpier”. But more then changing my life, I truly credit Slimming World and Food Optimising with saving my life. If I hadn’t have built up the courage to walk through those doors in December 2008 – maybe I never will have. I hate to think what I’d have become if that was the case – I believe that now I’d be weighing in excess of 30stones, and with the way my knees and hips were, then getting about would be complete agony. That’s assuming if I hadn’t become another obesity statistic and the thought of that at less then 36 years of age isn’t even worth thinking about now.

My crowning glory of this journey so far has been the parachute jump – just being able to do that – but it has also served as the final lesson – if I can loose the weight and then jump out of a plane – then I can do anything I set my heart to. I’m already eyeing up new challenges for myself – and thinking of walking the entire length of Hadrian’s Wall in 2011 and definitely another tandem parachute jump out there somewhere, but in the meantime, there’s another challenge ahead of me. I used my weight as a shield for far too long; my next challenge is as daunting as the parachute jump, but this time much more personal. It’s time to join the dating game and find someone to share my new found happiness with and with whom I can share the joys of food optimising with as we progress through our relationship and spreading the habits further on should children arrive – and if they do, now I’ll be prepared to be able to keep up with them – rather then not being able to do anything with them at all as would have been the case.

 

[Kenco]

Thank you so much for sharing that Ian.you really are a true inspiration.Big congratulations to you.your parachute jump looked amazing,fabulous achievement!!!!.x