A chuckle from group and a determined sticky

[Sticky]

Following on from Fern's thread about moaners at group, I thought I'd tell you what happened last night at mine, which nearly made me spit my hi-fi bar out!

So, I mentioned about a woman who always has a reason for not doing the plan. Well, last night I was a couple in front of her in the WI line and said to the WI lady that I wasn't expecting it to be good (I'll explain later why) and was very happy when I STS. As I was putting my shoes back on, the moaner lady said to someone else (under her breath) something along the lines of 'it makes you sick when people who don't need to be here still lose'. I looked up and another lass who'd been behind me was cheering for a 2lb loss.

Anyway, moaner sits facing me each week and she was chatting to the woman beside her and was moaning (again) about SW not working, and how she tries realllly hard. I was amused at that point as I'd seen her in Aldi and she was buying loads of junk (I thought at time it might have been for her family). As she's MOANING about not losing weight, she takes a lunch box from her bag and eats not 1, but 2 little wrapped cakes - the Aldi ones! Our C saw this and asked the syn value, to which she said 'dunno but it's my night off on WI night' (which is fair enough as some people do this). C said 'but [X] you've gained for the last 4 weeks so should you be starting NOW to get back on track?'. They got into a conversation where the C was saying how she feels like [X] is not letting her help anymore and she wanted to know what [X] wanted to do to turn it around and how C and the group could help her.

I tuned out then because she started on and on about it not working and to be honest, it's the same each week. I feel sorry for her because she comes every week without fail and to do that she does want to suceed, but she seems to be hell bent on not losing as she seems not to be trying anymore. This wouldn't bother me, but she's now seeming to be bitter about it and commenting on other members - which is not nice when they're trying to help. I think our C is losing patience too because of this new side to her. Shame really - we're all trying to help but it's like a wall has gone up around her.

How can I help her? I've tried passing on tips but she just back heels them with the excuse she works (?).

Anyway, I STS and to be honest I was happy it wasn't a gain. I've not been following plan 100% this week and found it hard to keep self motivated. I'm not worried because it's not like me to be so 'meh' about the plan, and I'm putting it down to being a bit tired and cranky this week. And I am just counting blessings it wasn't a gain. I wasn't massively bad, but I wasn't te usual me either.

So, this week I am coming back kicking and screaming onto plan. I'm only 0.5lb from my 1.5 total loss (1stone at group) and if I lost 2.5this week I get my club 10 too.

So - I'm doing i big time. Line is drawn under last week and looking forward to a new week and getting self back on track and back to losing.

Woo SW!!!

 

[julie19]

This woman is why I could never be a consultant - I just wouldn't be able to help myself & would give it to her straight - and that is probably not what she really needs. I don't think there is anything you can really say to her though, she has to come to the realisation that she is sabotaging herself, herself (if that makes sense).

Well done on your STS & good luck for you loss this week

 

[judimac]

There will always be some folk who are in denial, they're usually the ones who go to the drs because they've tried everything and demand, pills/gastric bands! No they haven't! They haven't followed a diet! At least we know where we've gone wrong, and we fess up to it! I suppose it's up to them if they want to waste their money, but they are a big irritant factor in class.
Well done for redoubling your efforts! You'll get your award this week!

 

[Minders]

I think that must be the really hard part about being a consultant. If I was just being me, sat talking face to face, I'd probably be quite blunt. But in front of a group of people, I realise that could be quite humiliating and she might stop coming, and that's not what we're here to do.

The woman at my group, who is quite big, pants at the slightest effort, walks with a stick, etc (and isn't THAT old), to be honest, she makes me feel very sad. I might be brutally honest sometimes, but I'm also very compassionate and I look at her and feel such sadness and pain. It breaks my heart to be honest. But if she won't listen, what can you do?

I guess maybe the consultant could quietly ask her to stay behind one evening and have a little more in-depth chat with her. Open her eyes a little... But at the end of the day, it's down to the individual to either make it work or not. SW doesn't work for some and not others. It works. Full stop. Unless you have a serious metabolic problem or some such thing, it works... for everyone. You just gotta do it right, and really, it's not that hard, is it...

 

[Donnie46]

You can't help some of the people all of the time, that's why they are usually natural born moaners, they will blame anything and everything except themselves, she doesen't realise that she is the one losing out in the end, I hope her C can make her see sense and she starts getting into the diet 'proper' - she doesn't know what she is missing!!!!


Well done on STS this week. X

 

[Madferret]

Totally agree Minders - the plan works but it only works if you do it - to the letter.... if people are constantly STS or gaining then they cannot, hand on heart, swear that they are following the plan correctly.

I would get so frustrated with people who came week in week out and blamed the plan - I would give them a food diary and ask them to write down EVERYTHING before it went into their mouths - only then would I be sympathetic to their cause...

The consultant's job must be a very hard one...

T

 

[Sticky]

Thanks all - the title is actually wrong in hindesight - it's actually really sad isn't it? I think I found the irony amusing, but looking back now it's sad to see someone undoing good work like this.

And you're right, it's sad to see someone (anyone) like this at any group - but like you all said, unless they want help they won't listen or hear what they don't want to.

C asked her to talk a few times but she just leaves. I hope she carries on coming though and gets back into it - she seems a bit bitter these days and that in itself isn't good, let alone adding weight gain to it when she wants to lose.

Thanks again all - xx

 

[LisaC]

There's a fair few ladies in my group who lose 1 gain 2, lose 2 gain 3 & its like that every single week, they've been going longer than me (I joined in March) & they've lost about 7lbs each. Thankfully even though they say they've tried they don't moan about it.

I think you'll always get ones who moan & moan that they're doing the right thing, knowing full well they may not be pulling their weight, but all you can do is give tips & encourage, the rest is up to them. Its just irritating to have to put up with ones who moans about others when you give 100&!!

 

[aliflower]

Our consultant always says 'I can't do it for you' which is so true. It takes effort on our part to plan our meals and make sure we are on the plan, if the woman can't be bothered to do that then she's just chucking her money away, is silly, and frustrating for everyone else in the group as people can drain you. I definitely wouldn't be impressed if she was making sarcastic comments about other people in the group though

 

[StaceyUK]

This woman is why I could never be a consultant - I just wouldn't be able to help myself & would give it to her straight - and that is probably not what she really needs.

OMG - that made me LOL! That is EXACTLY why I don't want to be a C either! I know there are a couple of women in my class who I just would not have the patience to deal with!

 

[Vixxster]

Sad thing is, people like this lady, who come and dutifully pay every week and don't do the plan properly are the diet industry's bread-and-butter.

Hopefully one day it will just click for her, until then she'll just keep on gaining. When she's really really miserable enough she'll get into it. She has to really WANT it.

I got my friend Sarah to join SW but she lives a fair way from me and she made a few rookie mistakes like sweetcorn on a red day and French Fries singles instead of multipack and regular bread instead of half size loaf, and she got a 4.5lb weight loss, and is now super determined because she thought she wouldn't lose, to correct all her mistakes and get fabulous losses each week.

it just has to click, if this lady has gotten stagnant with the plan she has to get back on track, but can only do it herself.

 

[Brookend]

When I was on the Tesco's plan I lost 2.5 stone just by being very focussed and sticking 100% to the plan for about the 6 mths it took.
However, on the forums there were loads if people who whinged and whinged ( sorry, no other word for it) and it was pretty obvious to me that they were wasting their money trying to diet because what they needed was to get their heads around what ever problem it was that was stopping them sticking to plan - they'd have been better off getting their heads sorted out first before moving onto their bodies, if you see what I mean!
I did feel sorry for them, but hated the constant whinge, whinge, moan moan everyday!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[The_Petal]

I think some people are too frightened to change their lives, (even though we know they will be making a change for the better) Change is really scary. Denial is a safe and familiar place to be, so why not just stay there? It's easy and responsibility-free to say "it won't work for me, i'm different because...." It means you don't even need to try. No responsibility. No chance of failing because you never really tried. Not your fault. Easy, eh?

 

[Sticky]

I think some people are too frightened to change their lives, (even though we know they will be making a change for the better) Change is really scary. Denial is a safe and familiar place to be, so why not just stay there? It's easy and responsibility-free to say "it won't work for me, i'm different because...." It means you don't even need to try. No responsibility. No chance of failing because you never really tried. Not your fault. Easy, eh?

I agree, but in this case the lady in question is trying to blame someone/thing else and saying she is trying. It is sad because the support is there, and will be there for when she wants it. Unless she keeps up the jibes and she may find herself losing SW friends. Hope not though...hope it soon dries up x

 

[I'm on my way]

I agree with all your comments.
A few years ago I was going to WW, I dragged my mum along as she had 6 1/2 stone to lose. For weeks she lost hardly anything, truth be she was only there for me. Eventually it clicked and now shes 1.5lbs from that 6 1/2 stone goal! If you stick with it, quite often it will click and then it will work. Unfortunatly this Lady may drag some others down with her while shes not motivated or others will stop going because they are fed up of her.

 

[charlottegrace1]

She's comming to class everyweek so something is in her mind about wanting to loose weight. She obviously needs a firm hand keeping on her the other 6 days of the week and I just wonder if your C is ringing her daily to see how she is getting on. It could be she has no will power (bit obvious really) but if her family are sitting around her eating cakes and chokkie etc the poor womans not in with much of a fighting chance, but then again, who is doing the shopping. Maybe she needs to look closer to home for the reasons she isn't makeing progress, and not faulting SW.

 

[b_n_3003]

I think your
Week 4 - STS (deserved)
is the most honest thing I've seen written down, a diet is hard work and it is hard to stick to for prolonged periods of time - we all know this
it's a shame for this woman as it seems she is lying to herself, if she was honest and said 'I'm struggling because I keep falling off the diet wagon' then that'd be OK, and people would be more inclined to help and encourage


good thread this

 

[Sticky]

I think your
Week 4 - STS (deserved)
is the most honest thing I've seen written down, a diet is hard work and it is hard to stick to for prolonged periods of time - we all know this
it's a shame for this woman as it seems she is lying to herself, if she was honest and said 'I'm struggling because I keep falling off the diet wagon' then that'd be OK, and people would be more inclined to help and encourage


good thread this

Aww thanks. I don't see the point in 'lying' to myself. I've had 14 WIs now and in that time I've had 11 loses, 2 STS and 1 gain.

Now, when I'd had a bad day, I worked hard to remedy it in the others days. Luckily, it's worked! In weeks where I had been naughty or not 100% plan, I've managed sneaky 0.5 loses because I pull it back to compensate. Weirdly, the 1;b gain I had was weird and unexpected - as I'd been really good the weeks running up to it too. I was down at the time, but people here were great and I just took the view 'well, it came off once so it'll come off again'.

I'm brutally honest and think that being honest is the only way I can do this and think it's that which has kept me on the straight and narrow.

I say this because this current group is my second. I went to another group late last year. It was going well until one week I lost it and had a gain - my C there wasn't very nice and made me feel like sh*t for it so I left feeling worse. The week after I skipped because I was scared of being told off again. After that I was ill and had a few treats as thought 'I'll catch it back'. In short, it took 4 missed WIs before I went back. When my 'schedule' meant I was not able to go, it was like a kid being let home for the summer holidays.

3 months passed before I went to the second group and I went back knowing that unless I faced facts and went to group NO MATTER WHAT and was honest I would do the same again - and I didn't want to get there again. I gained 7lbs of the 14lbs I lost at the first group and it took 4 weeks to get rid of that again...so not this time

xxx

 

[Vixxster]

Sticky, you inspired me to write something i've been thinking about for a while in my blog, about moaners at class and solutions.

I really really want all the excuses everyone hears at class (not where people admit their shortcomings or where they went wrong, but the denial type ones) and I want to try and post picture solutions to the best ones.

Will you all help me out and post responses on the post on my blog with your best 'overheard at class' excuses? you can post anonymously if you want! xxx

 

[Scarlet Daisy]

People like this discourage others and waste time in class. I'd be very tempted to call her on it.