A fresh start.

[Katyo]

Hi! I have decided to start a diary as I have been very inspired by how much it has helped other people on their CD journey, and I love reading everyones so thought I may as well give it a go. The thing with doing this diet is that it can sometimes be all you can think about so it will be nice to have somewhere to vent!
A bit about me - I am happily married with 5 kids and am a very happy positive person and the absolute only thing I have to complain about is my constant weight 'issues'. I have no idea why I am so crap when it comes to food and have had many many many dieting successes and failures, it has been an issue my whole adult life, but the good news is that with all this experience under my belt I am gradually learning, so hoping that I will be better equipped in the future for it not to be such a bloody big deal. All the time.
So I first did a VCLD in about 2004 and lost a couple of stone (13 stone - 11 stone ish I think) and then since then I have been fighting the good fight ever since. My most successful attempt was late in 2007 and lost almost 5 stone, but had to give up before I was ready and gradually it piled on. I have had another baby since then and got back to 15 stone - dieted straight after he was born and got down to about 12 stone but fell off the wagon. Have tried restarting a few times since but have done the classic bingeing before starting and than never getting past day 3 and stacking more and more on. I am now back to 14 st 10 which was my starting weight when I did it successfully before (so I'm taking this as a sign! If i did it before than by jove I can def do it again!!)).
I have learnt that 100% with no cheating is the only way I am able to do it - as soon as I start to introduce real food (Even SS+ things) it gradually turns into a binge fest so will tackle that prob when at goal. Baby steps and all that!!
I have also learned never to get complacent, I need to approach every new day as though it is the first, as when I relax it can be another trigger for me to fail.
So I now feel fore-warned and fore-armed, its not going to be forever and its easy when you know how! And when you stick to it!
So my goal is 9- 9 1/2 stone, will decide nearer the time, I am hoping to be done by Sept. I have bought digital scales and will be naked-weighing first thing in the morning every day as this will help me stay focussed I am sure.
I am currently on day 6 of this and according to the scales this morning I am 13st13 so 11lbs off already! Woop woop. Thats the best I have ever done in a first week though so hopefully my new scales aren't faulty! I may have a shock at my official weigh in on Mon eve!!
Sorry for the epic first entry -- they won't all be like this I promise!!
Anyway just had my first shake of the day and off to prepare lunch for the kids, feeling good and positive........

 

[Katyo]

Well I weighed myself today and it was 13st 12 1/2 so another half pound off! Yesterday was a good day, had a choc mint shake at lunch, an iced coffee one (vanilla, cold coffee mixed with lots of ice) mid afternoon and my last choc mint at about 9pm. All washed down with copious amounts of green tea and not enough water!!
I had to go to Tescos to get the weekly shop, 3 good things happened - firstly I didn't faint with desire at the smell of the fresh bread in there, two I had to give my 15mth old a biscuit in his trolley on way round as he was grumpy and not loving the whole shopping thing, he seemed to get more kicks out of trying to feed me the biscuit than himself and kept offering it to me whilst I was pushing him in the trolley - I kept my mouth firmly shut tho and resisted temptation; and three, the bill was significantly cheaper than usual without out my usual (expensive) crap like green & blacks choc and wasabi peanuts etc. So a good shopping trip all round!
I feel so much skinnier already because I have that lovely empty feeling inside and my tummy feels flat. Sadly I get a bit of a shock when I look at myself i the mirror as I am not as skinny as I feel and its going to be a long time before I can get back into a lot of the clothes hanging in my wardrobe, but its all there for the taking!! I will be slim. I will be slim!!
Had my shake earlier than usual today as it was replacing the mound of biscuits I would normally be stuffing myself with, with my morning cuppa! I am lucky to have a mini lie-in at the weekend where I have a quick flick through the papers (I know, with 5 kids I am pretty lucky to have that luxury!!) and this Sunday is the first one without my tea and biscuits, so thought I would have my shake in bed in the hope that I wouldn't feel too forlorn!!! As it is, I have been fine - my mindset is still gd right now so it was ok. Tea & biscuits are def my 'thing'. They are without doubt my biggest weakness and most def the main cause of my fatness - I have a bit of a love hate relationship with biscuits, except the love seems to overpower the hate more often than not!!
Going to read some more of your diary entries now, it feels good to know that there are lots of us entrenched in this madness!! Looking forward to getting to know you all better......

 

[mum of five]

hi hun
you sound so positive and as we know thats half the battle.well done on your massive weight loss already thats absolutly amazing.im the same as you about the cheating thing if i start i wouldnt stop.im currently on 810 week and its not that bad i feel bloated all the time so dont worry about eating again because when you get to week 13 you wont be able to eat as much any way.

hope you have a good sunday xxx

 

[Katyo]

Hello (fellow!) mum of five, what a lovely post - thank you. You have done so well - very inspiring - we have similar stats and my goal weight is the same as yours!! It's good news that you have started to introduce real food now, it means you are tantalisingly close to finishing!! You must feel so proud. It's def true about the no cheating thing, its hard but the only way I reckon. Are you on 810 til the end now or back to SS after a week or something? Good luck with it all, I shall follow your progress with much admiration! xxx

 

[mum of five]

thanks hun
back on ss tomorrow as bmi has not hit 25 yet so may as well do it till im not allowed to.i must admit i really like 810 and could prob just do this now but ss has been amazing for me so want to see it through.
hope you have a good day hunxxxx

 

[Katyo]

Well it's Day 8 today and my official weigh in this afternoon. I did my naked weighing as usual first thing and am thrilled to report that according to my scales I have lost 13 lbs in my first week. I now weigh 13st 11. It's astonishing - I have never lost so much in the first week, I think the most has been 8lbs so quite baffling but very exciting! I am looking forward to seeing my CDC tonight and will see if her scales match my loss, as she weighed me at less then my home scales, I just cant remember what it is as its always in kilos. I have started to doubt my first reading now as it is such a big first week loss (for me) but I def weighed myself, naked first thing (twice just to make sure!) last mon and wrote it down! So fingers crossed it really is 13lbs, because the cynic in me thinks it must be too good to be true!!
Had a pretty rubbish day yesterday - I suffer quite badly with episodes of really high blood pressure and unusually I get symptoms when it is raised, where I get a banging head and my head feels like I'm in a divers helmet full of water, kind of blocked and muffled - its horrible and I am hoping that getting to a normal weight, although wont fix me, might make a difference in the severity/frequency of these episodes. Anyway, felt pretty rubbish all day yesterday with it, and really wanted to lose myself in tea and biscuits, but I stuck to my shakes and had an early night.
The rest of the family had roast chicken yesterday which smelt divine so I sloped off to the other room while I had my shake - sometimes I'm not in the mood to watch them all tuck in, and yet other times it doesn't matter a jot! My husband is pretty cool about it, sometimes I feel I am abandoning him with all the hardwork of our mealtimes as it can be pretty hectic feeding 6 people incl a toddler and then all the clearing up afterwards. But then if the odd skive off helps me stay on track, then it is all for the greater good and he will reap the benefits when I am done as he will have a foxy wife! A small price to pay I reckon!! Well thats what I tell myself if I start feeling guilty!!!
Will report back with my official weigh in results with my CDC. Appt is at 4:30, can't wait........

 

[Katyo]

Ok so I have come back from my CDC and on her scales it is showing 10lbs as my initial first weeks loss. (I weigh 13 st 12 at hers) So not the 13lbs on my scales but, hey its still a shed load of chub to have got rid of in only 7 days, so I am chuffed to bits!! Aiming for a stone at hers next week!! Woop woop!

 

[mum of five]

well done katy that is amazing 10lbs you will defo have your stone next week woooohoooo to you xxx

 

[Katyo]

Day 9 today and 13st 10 1/2, so half a pound off.
Yesterday was another good day, I saw my CDC and asked for 2 bars as I am going to an all day family thing on Sun and didn't want to give myself any excuses not to follow CD while I am there. In the past when I have gone there (my dads house) I have made a shake etc, but as I have to use a blender etc and lots of ice, its so noisy and I just feel like I'm being a real attention seeker!!! It's stupid I know, but it's bad enough sitting watching everyone eat and drink without making a big song and dance of it in the kitchen. It is just too cringey for me - I find it is such a big deal for other people if you don't eat - it doesn't bother me that much but it really can make people feel quite uncomfortable so I like to remain as discreet as poss!
In the past on one of my many restarts I have tried to eat just protein & veg and not have the drinks, nibbles, pudding etc but I always find it really easy to do that, then when I come home it triggers a binge - its like I am making up for what I missed out on but as a guilty secret. Weird. So having learnt from past failings, I know that the only way I can complete this is to abstain from all food. I have done it before and it works. Just need to get to goal - last time I had to stop 1 stone from goal weight as I ran out of money. Gutted. So not doing that again. I will sell one of my children if needs be - nothing will stop me from completing this time!!!
Anyway back to the bars - sorry for the ramble - I asked for 2 but only needed 1, as I decided to reward myself with a celebratory bar last night and it was just lovely. I know its probably a bad habit to reward myself with food, but nobody's perfect!! And I have done ever so well!

 

[Katyo]

Day 11 and 13st8 1/2 - another 2lbs off, hurrah.
Still feeling upbeat about the diet - haven't had any major wobbles, I am finding it so much easier to resist temptation than I normally do, hopefully it is because my head is in the right place, although every day I succeed at this I can't quite believe I've done it!! I have messed up so many times before, anything past day 3 is such a massive achievement for me, it is easier than I thought which is very unnerving!!
Am going to a friends for lunch tomorrow, so I had to fess up and tell her I was doing the diet which I find so embarrassing but she was very sweet about it. It shouldn't matter but she is quite big herself, bigger than me and she never ever mentions that she is or isn't unhappy with her weight so I always feel kind of silly and vain if I have to mention diets etc, does that make sense? I dont know, it just feels a bit awkward but anyway she said she will be providing me with lashings and lashings of green tea instead, bless her.
I'm off to hit the shops later today for a bit of late night shopping. I would normally treat myself a Pret wrap while I'm there, its just what I have always done so I will be giving it a wide berth!! Pret are dreadful for making everything so bloody yummy and 'healthy' too, when in fact its all laden with too many calories and fat - I tend to eat a lot in there as it feels more virtuous than a lot of places but i know really its prob just as bad as a McDonalds!!! Anyway, I have had plenty of nice pitstops in pret (prob a lge contributing factor to my fatness) in my lifetime so I shan't feel too sorry for myself and instead I shall focus on how much more I will enjoy hitting the shops when I am slim & fit.
I need to buy presents for my eldest two as it is their 18th (eek) birthday next week, and struggling for inspiration so will be a long evening I reckon....

 

[mum of five]

hi hun,hope you have a good time shopping and stay away from the food shop lol oj.a silly question do you have twins?i do to.xx

 

[Katyo]

Yep mum of five - guilty! Of twins, not eating at Pret!! My eldest are twins then I have three more boys. Glad I had twins first, as I didn't know any different!! Anything after that is a doddle ha! Are your twins the eldest of your brood too? Or the last? Its lovely to know other mums of twins Even though mine are all growed up now

 

[Kf12g10]

congrats on your weight loss - it's fantastic

 

[Katyo]

Day 12 and 13st8 1/2 so STS.
Its hard work today, feel really tired and cold (who stole the sunshine?!) and getting that Groundhog Day kind of feeling. But I know that these days are few and far between and tomorrow I could be feeling on top of the world!
I want to eat and yet I know that if I do I don't think I could eat enough to satisfy me, if I decided to binge (which am def not) then I reckon I would still feel like this, so there's no point. I don't want to eat beacuse I am hungry, that I do know. I have done it so many times before - you think food will fix it but it rarely does, so I am glad I have remembered that before its too late!
Yesterday was a good day but I didn't drink anywhere near enough - felt thirsty a lot, so a slapped wrist for me. Will try and make up for it today, its silly, but when you are busy, remembering to drink is actually quite hard! Even when you're thirsty!!
Hope everyone is having a good day today....

 

[Katyo]

congrats on your weight loss - it's fantastic

Thank you, you are most kind

 

[mum of five]

hi hun my twins were my last,boy and girl,i have 4 girls and 1 boy.they are now 3 and very hectic wouldn't change them for the world ok im lying maybe a little calmer haha they rely on each other so much and dont really play with other children thought they would now their at preschool.
hope you have a good day my lovely xx

 

[Katyo]

Wowsers, that is pretty amazing, having 3 kids and then twins. You have my sympathy Mine are boy and girl too, they were pretty inseperable when they were little, then it all changed when they got to secondary school and now they tolerate eachother! They are so different and have separate friends etc so that is prob why, in fact loads at their school dont even realise that they are twins - and I dont think they broadcast it!!!
At least if yours are reliant on eachother than they obvs get on, I was always pleased that they were so close when they were little, as a friend of mine had identical twins who were really competetive and it was like entering a war zone going to visit!!
Hmmm, 3 yr old twins - I remember it well, and found that age the hardest by far, it got much easier after that! And I wouldn't change a thing!! I def feel like I have earned my parenting stripes, surviving twins, as I'm sure you do too!

 

[Katyo]

Day 13 and 13st 8 half a pound off. Grrr.

Still freezing cold today and feel a bit sick but still ploughing on. Just had my first shake but can't finish it, and am now off to blitz the house. Hopefully will see a better result on the scales tomorrow. Am off to my family thing and its going to be a hard day so could do with a good encouraging loss......

 

[Katyo]

Day 15 13st 7.5 - 1/2lbs off.


Well I survived yesterday - stuck rigidly to the plan and had a shake before we left in the morning, had my bar when everyone was eating their meal and my last shake when we got in at about 9pm. So feel very proud of myself for not having a 'oh sod it' moment.
Have been to see my CDC this morn and my second weigh in is 4 lbs off so 1 stone exactly altogether which is pretty cool. If I could do 4 every week I'd be a very happy bunny!
Its a miserable bank holiday today so staying in and going to attack the housework again, which is a bit rubbish but at least if I'm at home there are less temptations!

 

[bettiesrevenge]

WELL DONE YOU!!!

I lost your diary, just found it now...1 stone in two weeks - brilliant!!!