A non-dieters perspective about body image

[Blonde Logic]

I thought I would share with you a conversation I had on my biker forum I belong too. A member announced she was doing LL, so we got to chatting.

This lady posted some pics so asked me to do so too. So I did.


I am very good friends with a man there. He's been a good friend and source of support pre-LL when I was facing the things I couldn;t face alone, or in "front of anyone yet", including my OH. All the way through LL - he always showed an interest in my progress, etc., and we've become very good friends.

He'd seen a few photos through the diet, but not any of me at goal. H*** then sent me a private message and this is our conversation, copied below.

I am sharing it here, because I thought it was interesting to a) nice, and b) what he said about what we often talk about - our images in the mirror vs the images in our heads. I thought it interesting from someone completely non biased. So thought I'd share it. I t could be helpful for some.

================
HIM: You look gorgeous Bluej

Are you eating proper food in decent amounts now ?

Quite a few pictures [large & small] I haven't seen of you before.
You really do look great Jan,
lucky C*** !
H*** xx

ME: Thanks a lot H***. I appreciate your saying so.

I find I still can't quite get a good mental image of myself - wht I see in the mirror is still not really accurate.

Its funny - when I was fat, I saw myself in the mirror as looking better then I did. I think that was self-preservation and denial - if I really looked, I would have really hated myself - more then I did.

Now that I am slim, when I look in the mirror, I think I look like I should still lose another stone or more. Yet the scales and size clothes I am comfortably fitting in tell me I am OK.

Its all very strange.

It's always nice to hear a mans comments. Women will always tell women they look good. lol

I have to remind C*** he is lucky. Sometimes I think he forgets.

Thanks mate. You are always really nice and encouraging. I appreciate that.

Hope you have a good day!

xx

HIM: I meant it too Jan..........not BS'ing you

You've got to watch them mirrors ! You really don't need to lose any more weight at all. Very slim where you should be...curves in all the right places. I can see how it might get addictive but you have to be determined in both directions. Whatever weight you are now, stick to it. If it goes down, eat more & keep the weight up ! It's most essential not to fall prey to strange psychological pressures.........
You're very level-headed, I know you know all this already but a reminder never hurts !
Have a fab weekend,
H***
x

 

[EmVeg]

Very interesting - some lovely comments from him. Very good point on the being determined in both directions - and I think you employed the "buffer" zone of weights you want to stick between...which I stole from you for a few weeks time.

Think its an ideal way to keep an eye on both putting on or losing.

(Heehee..who would have thought, it sounds like I'm talking about losing weight as it could be a bad thing...WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED!!!)

 

[Blonde Logic]

Yes, EM - amazing where we find us now, ay??

This is the comment I found most interesting:

It's most essential not to fall prey to strange psychological pressures.........



Based on the many convo's we've had here about how we see us in the mirror, it is interesting to me that others see this and recognise the same danger we discuss - the head trips. And that from one who's never had issues of any sort. Y know? SO its not just us!

 

[EmVeg]

I think its quite comforting to see that its not just us, that it can be anyone.

I guess its a case of getting to the stage of knowing within yourself that you are happy so that the image in the mirror on one of the fat days doesn't affect you AS much as it could do!

 

[Poppysparkle]

Very interesting stuff BL! I have to admit that I want to keep going lower, which isn't healthy at all! LLC said to me when I said this, that they wouldn't let me get much lower anyway, as my BMI is already well within the healthy range. However, it's very addictive! I know I'm pretty slim now from photos, and even looking in the mirror, but I actually want to be a size 8, which I said I didn't before I started this, and a size 12 suited me much better!

I also realised today that I actually do look "how I was designed to look" because I don't have the extra weight around my face, etc, and it's a completely different shape than I ever imagined!

I look so different to how I did five or six months ago, but I actually recognise this 'me' more than I did that fat hefty one?!

 

[Decking Jim]

Blond Logic and Poppysparkle
Wow you girls are hot
You have done amazingly well
Im not doing too bad myself at under 16 stone now which is 45lbs off since Jan - Whilst ive had a band fitted I dont go for my first fill until end of Apr so am losing weight weekly consistantly through healthy food choices and lots of exercise

Cheers

James