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Aaaggghhhhhhh recipe nightmare

I'm trying this SW pork with bacon and sage stuffing recipe (p 56 of this month's mag). Not being much of a meat eater I asked some info on it here the other day (I've never cooked pork in my life! :eek: )

I donlt know if I've got some measurement wrong or there's an error in the recipe or what but I can't believe you could possibly cook this thing by grilling for 6-8min on each side? Not in a million years! It's a massive great huge thing! The recipe wanted 800g, mine's only 1kg so it's not immensely bigger or anything :confused:

Also there is loooaaaads of stuffing (even though my joint is bigger) and it's pretty runny so it's all escaping out the sides... I've tied it up with string but obviously the tighter you tie it the more squeezes out. In the end I've constructed two "walls" of foil to hold it in just until it firms up a bit.

I don't know meat very well so I wasn't even sure if some of the white stuff inside was fat or cartilage or what but it didn't seem keen to shift. I thought I'd just eat from the side that was obviously not fatty :sigh:

Basically I've given up and thought sod it, I'm just putting the lot in, skin and all and we shall have crackling tonight! Sod it, I am having Flexible Syns today, oh yes! :p :break_diet:

Aggghh bring back lentils!!! :cry: :D
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ooooh I have just looked at that recipe as you mentioned it and I would never have done it under the grill

Not much use now for you though -but Im planning on making it -but I will wrap it tightly in foil and bake in the oven -it seems far to thick to grill without the outside being as tough n dry as a witches "doodaa"

I hope you can resuce it..
If you aren't very confident cooking meat -get yourself a basic meat thermometer -it really does make it easier -just one that you spike in to check the temp -no need for one that goes in the oven..
Ah, thanks yeah Ive looked at those but I only cook a joint once a year at Xmas, if that! :eek: :D Im just gonna go by the half an hour per pound rule that I just googled :eek: (And this time I will remember to leave it for half an hour and not try to tuck in straight away and wonder why it's bleeding all over the shop...)

If you do cook this I'd recommend taking it easy on the lemon juice for the stuffing and/or squishing all the juice you can out of the Peppadews cos it looks OK when you've mixed it but lots of water comes out the stuffing once it's in.

EDIT: agghhh just checked on it and the skin is all burnt already! I thought you were supposed to put it on high for the first half hour? :( a) my oven is [email protected] b) I can't cook meat to save my life :(

Think it'll be lettuce for me tonight :cry:
Fairies of Satan! :mad: :D I WANT ME CRACKLING!!!! :cry:

Agghhhhh dammit. Shall I peel the burnt stuff off and wrap the rest in foil or just leave it as it is? Sorry, I am such a moron at meat :eek:
I'd leave it. Peel it off when cooked it will come away easier. Foil keeps the meat itself nice and moist so bet the inside will be yummy :) let us know.

Just imagine all those syns in that crackling lol xxxxx
I have cremated my crackling!:

It all looked so enticing to start with:

Bah! :mad: I better win an extra pound off this week for sacrificing that :(
hope it tasted good!
I still think you are doing well trying new recipes with meat!

Well, it survived, just! I cooked it in foil then peeled off the (not-very)-crackling which I shoved back in the oven on its own while the meat rested just on the off chance something was recoverable - when I took it out the OH scoffed the *entire pile* of crackling going "Mmmmmm" "OMG" "this is divine"...!!! :eek: Cremated pile of black stuff - he scoffed the lot!!! :confused: I tested it but tbh it was just chewy [email protected] with no fat left on it cos it had all burnt away into nowhereville...:sigh:

Recipe was OK, pretty spicy, if you like that kinda thing I guess it is a BBQ-stylee-thing. I ate the stuffing but only about half the pork. Reminded me why I'm not a great fan of meat really :rolleyes:


The semi-salvaged pork:

and the meal:

tomorrow I'm going back to lentils :D

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