Abyss
Schwing !
*Wrote on my first day ... just a warning that it does mention a few f**ds so if you feel like this is going to be a problem for you, please don't continue :]*
The journey to regain my former glory and passion for life has begun. I need to be completely honest with everyone and myself in order to be successful so I have decided to take full advantage of this page. Perhaps there are people who can identify with my struggles. I have been all sorts of shapes and sizes throughout the duration of my lifetime. Never had I been so content with my shape and lifestyle as I was in the Summer of 2010, I reminisce this being the happiest time of my life. I was around 10 stone (on a 5" 7 frame), lean, confident, vibrant and completely safe in my own skin, a distant fairytale in comparison to now.
Me at my ideal weight. Please don't ask me why i'm climbing on that car ahaha, it's the only full-body shot i could find :']
Yes I have stupid hair ahaha, but I love having stupid hair
Somewhere along the road of graduating from university, moving house, a grievous break-up and make-up with a trusted partner of three years, mother's ill-health, inner-demons, work, death and various other life stressors I have found myself fluctuating from one extreme to another in terms of my weight. Most recently I feel like I have lost control entirely and now around four stone heavier, miserable and uncomfortable in every aspect of my being. Food has become my best friend and worst enemy simultaneously.
I have gained a few lethal habits in the last year or so of popping to the supermarket every day to buy dinner on the way home from work, which I feel has been key in contributing to my downfall. I'd often buy more than I need, my eyes and heart take over what i would be going to be eating that day. If I fancied a curry, "well i'll have to buy some nan bread, pilau rice and mini popadoms to accompany ... then perhaps pudding for a little later, a family cheesecake ... I'll never eat all that anyway then I can save some for the rest of the week." Of course, that cheesecake wouldn't last 6 hours. This awful habit was enhanced further by a development in my secret eating, I would also buy myself little "treats" on my trip just to eat them secretly later on. I also had a rule that I had to eat what I bought within that evening as "the diet started tomorrow!" I would hide these treats from everyone else in the house so they wouldn't know I had them. I even psychologically felt like the supermarket self-service was great because there was no-one to judge what I was buying and eating (not that they could know that I intended all of this food for myself!) This was bank-breaking as well as hideously unhealthy. My secret eating had evolved from "dieting" and being "good" all day long then breaking my iron will during the evening. I would gorge on all of the things that I should have eaten in intervals during the day and probably more, being so ravenous that I just ingested utter rubbish without a thought despite my good intentions. This habit developed into a monster.
Me and my lovely boyfriend earlier last year at Download Festival 2012, really struggling with my weight :/
I sat myself down and looked in the mirror. I felt unhappy with myself, I was in a never ending cycle of misery and I needed a change. I've seen various success stories linked to LighterLife, my father being one such case - I have tried everything else. I even went to the gym for 4 months straight, 6 days a week with a minimum of 30 minutes a day exercise and very often a lot more and barely lost 3 pounds, if anything I felt like I was gaining weight. So I bit the bullet and signed up to a consultation in my local area, I liked what I saw and heard from the leader (who is incredibly lovely and down to earth!) I would use the money that I had been wasting on supermarket binges to pay for my weekly groups and packs. And now here I am on day one, sat with my chicken soup in a mug extremely excited to start seeing some results.
Hopefully some time soon I can make my 2010 dream self a reality in 2013; I think i'll be avoiding supermarkets for a while.
Abyss
xo
The journey to regain my former glory and passion for life has begun. I need to be completely honest with everyone and myself in order to be successful so I have decided to take full advantage of this page. Perhaps there are people who can identify with my struggles. I have been all sorts of shapes and sizes throughout the duration of my lifetime. Never had I been so content with my shape and lifestyle as I was in the Summer of 2010, I reminisce this being the happiest time of my life. I was around 10 stone (on a 5" 7 frame), lean, confident, vibrant and completely safe in my own skin, a distant fairytale in comparison to now.
Me at my ideal weight. Please don't ask me why i'm climbing on that car ahaha, it's the only full-body shot i could find :']
Yes I have stupid hair ahaha, but I love having stupid hair
Somewhere along the road of graduating from university, moving house, a grievous break-up and make-up with a trusted partner of three years, mother's ill-health, inner-demons, work, death and various other life stressors I have found myself fluctuating from one extreme to another in terms of my weight. Most recently I feel like I have lost control entirely and now around four stone heavier, miserable and uncomfortable in every aspect of my being. Food has become my best friend and worst enemy simultaneously.
I have gained a few lethal habits in the last year or so of popping to the supermarket every day to buy dinner on the way home from work, which I feel has been key in contributing to my downfall. I'd often buy more than I need, my eyes and heart take over what i would be going to be eating that day. If I fancied a curry, "well i'll have to buy some nan bread, pilau rice and mini popadoms to accompany ... then perhaps pudding for a little later, a family cheesecake ... I'll never eat all that anyway then I can save some for the rest of the week." Of course, that cheesecake wouldn't last 6 hours. This awful habit was enhanced further by a development in my secret eating, I would also buy myself little "treats" on my trip just to eat them secretly later on. I also had a rule that I had to eat what I bought within that evening as "the diet started tomorrow!" I would hide these treats from everyone else in the house so they wouldn't know I had them. I even psychologically felt like the supermarket self-service was great because there was no-one to judge what I was buying and eating (not that they could know that I intended all of this food for myself!) This was bank-breaking as well as hideously unhealthy. My secret eating had evolved from "dieting" and being "good" all day long then breaking my iron will during the evening. I would gorge on all of the things that I should have eaten in intervals during the day and probably more, being so ravenous that I just ingested utter rubbish without a thought despite my good intentions. This habit developed into a monster.
Me and my lovely boyfriend earlier last year at Download Festival 2012, really struggling with my weight :/
I sat myself down and looked in the mirror. I felt unhappy with myself, I was in a never ending cycle of misery and I needed a change. I've seen various success stories linked to LighterLife, my father being one such case - I have tried everything else. I even went to the gym for 4 months straight, 6 days a week with a minimum of 30 minutes a day exercise and very often a lot more and barely lost 3 pounds, if anything I felt like I was gaining weight. So I bit the bullet and signed up to a consultation in my local area, I liked what I saw and heard from the leader (who is incredibly lovely and down to earth!) I would use the money that I had been wasting on supermarket binges to pay for my weekly groups and packs. And now here I am on day one, sat with my chicken soup in a mug extremely excited to start seeing some results.
Hopefully some time soon I can make my 2010 dream self a reality in 2013; I think i'll be avoiding supermarkets for a while.
Abyss
xo
