Accepting how you look after weight loss

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Yorkiegirl, 2 June 2007 Social URL.

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  1. Yorkiegirl

    Yorkiegirl is happy being Yorkiegirl

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    Having been away on holiday this week, I've spent a fair bit of time in a swim suit. The problem I have is accepting how I look.
    I know I am nowhere near as overweight as I was back in January, I mean, 6 stone lighter I am going to look better. But I still see all my imperfections. Loose skin on my stomach, round the tops of my thighs, bingo wings.
    I can get into size 14 for trousers and skirts, and a 16 for tops, which is fantastic.

    So why do I still see all the nasty flabby bits as being such a problem?

    I was 12 stone 5 when I was last weighed at LL, and am aiming to get to 11 stone 12 before moving into management. So I am so close to being where I want to be.

    Yet still I see the flab. I don't think I am fat but still my eyes are drawn to the bits I mentioned earlier.

    Is this part of the process? How can I help myself get over this?
     
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  3. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    I think this is very normal. Perhaps when we embark on these diets we have unrealistic expectations of how we are going to look after it?

    I also think it takes time for the brain to adjust to the new you, and for your body to redistribute a little.

    Well done for the weightloss:clap: Bet you feel a whole load better for it :)
     
  4. In search of me

    In search of me Silver Member

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    Know what you mean! The weight is droppig off but yet I focus on the negative bits! My best mate was shocked that the "roll" I had described for my thighs was nowhere as bad as she thought from my decription! I think it takestime for us to adjus to our new shape and to accept that we will never have the sylph like, perfect bodies that we envisaged (unrealistcally) at the start. I am learning to love my new body with its battle scars and to accept that tummy tucking knickers & a good bra will always be a necessity - until I can afford surgery in the future. Also it does apparently take a good year for our body to catch up with the losses so hang in there (no pun intended lol) all may well improve! Hope you at least felt better this time than you did last time in cossie?
     
  5. Cherry Plum

    Cherry Plum One day at a time

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    I know what you mean, I look thinner in clothes, but take them off & all I see are wobbly bits & an apron!
    My LLC said that even if we had lost all our weight we would still find fault with ourselves, she said there will always be parts of our body that we dislike or are not happy with.
    I think that even the top models probably dislike part of their body, I think its human nature.
    What we need to do is learn to love ourselves & our bodies again, because for so very long we have hated what we see.
    I don't know if you've ever heard of 'positive affirmations'?
    It might be worth a try, look in the mirror every day & tell yourself you are beautiful & slim.
    Hope that helps.
     
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  6. Uphillstruggle

    Uphillstruggle Full Member

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    Totally feel the same...

    Hi Yorkiegirl,
    I am exactly the same. I have now hit my initial target - to be BMI 25 and am 10 stone 10. I can wear great clothes and if I catch myself in the mirror FULLY CLOTHED, I am starting to think I look ok. However, naked is a different story. I hate my saggy belly, boobs, bingo wings, thighs - I know it will not "spring back" as I have had a baby and been overweight since I was 14. I am covered in stretchmarks and as I am so pale it really makes the whole thing worse. I am saving for surgery and also having extra one-to-one counselling to try to learn to "love myself" (just not loathing myself would be a great start). I think I had unrealistic expectations on LL. I thought I'd be able to rescue my body, but after 12 years of abuse, I think it is stickng two fingers up at me!
    Thank god for Bridget Jones pants is all I can say. I am a teacher and going on a school trip t a water park in 4 weeks - ABSOLUTELY dreading getting into a cossie!
    :)
    Beth
     
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  7. honey-dd

    honey-dd Full Member

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    first of on well done on the weight loss thats fantastic but apart from the fact we will never be happy with what we got ( being female is great :Dlol) you need to remember skin and muscle will take twice as long to get back to how it should be !!.

    if you take 5 months to lose 5 stone you should expect another 5 months to get your skin back to were it belongs ,a little bit of toning exercise and cardeo when your done will help not only with your skin but with how you feel and maintaining your weight xxxx
     
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  8. Incywincy

    Incywincy Full Member

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    I have gone down from an 18 to a 12 and am loving all the new clothes I can fit into.

    I also like the way I am starting to look fully clothed and the people who comment about my weight loss (especially the postman LOL, he had me do a twirl today!!!!!!!!)

    But naked in the mirror?????????? That is a whole different thing. My boobs are deflated and remind me of cow udders, the stretchmarks on my stomach and thighs that I never knew existed, my stomach looks like its been wrung out like a wet rag and left to dry, I hate it, and don't get me going about my apron................that part caught in a zip of some jeans that I was trying on the other day.............agony was not the word.

    To cheer me up I got myself a professional spray tan and a belly button piercing, but it still doesn't make the naked me any better.

    The only thing that is good is my skin is fab with all the moisturiser I use on my body these days to try and help with the wrinkly bits LOL
     
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  9. Cerulean

    Cerulean Silver Member

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    I've just had exactly the same experience - I thought I was looking thin, but on holiday I have still felt 'fat' so many times. I think I'm about 11st 10 now - but I remember that the reason I got into this mess in the first place was because I didn't like how I looked at this weight. In case this is distorted thinking, I have enlisted a close friend (one that I know has no jealous agenda) to help me judge if I go too far. I am alternately happy and dissatisfied with how I look. I suppose reasonably, I am still a stone over a healthy BMI and I suppose I have to hope that the 'the smaller you get the more every pound counts' maxim holds true. I am happy with the body in this picture, expecially compared to the body I had in January, but it is not yet the body I want. I hope that that doesn't cause me problems. I really want to raise this in group but there is a woman who will shout me down and tell me not to be so ridiculous (I have gone from being one of the biggest in my group to being the second smallest). I have noticed myself clamming up a lot recently because of this.
     

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  10. icemoose

    icemoose The Diet Guy

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    I think it is in our nature to focus on the negative and not the positive and so I think you are just being normal!

    When I finished the diet everyone said that it would take you a year to get used to the new you in accept yourself but that was nearly 18 months ago now and not happened yet!

    M.
     
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  11. Sez

    Sez has started again!!

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    I am finding all this really interesting. I know I still have a long long way to go, but I am really not liking what is happening to me naked. In clothes its ok, theres magic knickers, push up bras, long sleeves etc. But summer clothes are another thing all together. I think I can, at the mo, just about get away with shorts (well, my pins are still v v big and mega wobbly, but I can at least wear "long" shorts, in the sun!) But my arms have literally had me in tears, only yesterday. They are so big and flabby, it is so revolting. I am dreading hot weather and sleeveless tops etc, especially on holiday. I know that no amount of exercise will sort out the bingo wings. I guessmaybe surgery at some point, except this surgery can leave massive scars that are very visible.

    Why are we never happy? My oh is a sweetie, but it cant be fun for him being married to one of the Fantastic Four (Flappy Woman)..........
     
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  12. Fuzzys Angel

    Fuzzys Angel The Lovely James Hetfield

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    This is an interesting subject, like wise i have lost 75lbs gone down from a size 22/24 to size 12 bottoms & 14 tops. I know i am thinner the clothes show that but when i look in the mirror i just dont see it. My mind hasn't caught up with my body yet!....xxx
     
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  13. 6stlost

    6stlost Full Member

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    Right there with you.

    I now fluctuate between 8st11lbs and 9st2lbs. I'm a size 8-10 and yet still all I see is tummy, hips, bum, thighs (all magnified) when looking in the mirror naked.

    I have to be quite harsh on myself and say "look, don't be ridiculous - you cannot be a size 8 and be fat". Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

    There was a really helpful exercise in the LL Management book which helped me. Perhaps you could try it? It's called 'Body Image' and it's in week 6, page 60. I spent about 30 mins or longer in front of the mirror and still wasn't convinced until I decided to put on a pair of tights and some very high heels. Immediately my body was transformed. I had long, toned legs and looked like I'd lost a stone just by adding the extra height.

    I recommend the exercise. Try it and do a combination of naked, semi-clothed, fully-clothed, with high-heels and without. Look at yourself from all different angles and take ages over it. Don't finish until you've come away with some favourable memories.

    And it was all the more powerful for writing down all my feelings too. I think I filled up a good three pages.

    But I still have fat days :)
     
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  14. fatpossum

    fatpossum Silver Member

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    Hi Chaps,

    I know what you mean about the wobbly and flabby bits left behind after weight loss but even so I think I look great!! :princess:

    I have started to look at my body differently and instead of being critical of it I now recognize that it is where I live and it's what enables me to live in this world.

    I'm sure that all of us at some time have suffered criticism from others as a result of being overweight so let's not join with the critics at this stage and instead let's learn to love our bodies.

    Everything about our bodies may not be perfect but I am sure that parts of us are excellent!! I think that parts of me are superb!! :bliss:

    Give yourself a hug - that's what I've started to do though probably best not to do so in public!!! :clap:
     
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