Am I a nasty person?

[jojothejo]

Oh dear :s

I don’t really know what to say. I’m not going to bash the OP because as others have pointed out, she’s normally really helpful and lovely. I do however struggle to understand how she could start this post, and also another one about which “fat” comment we remember most….Seems a bit of a contradiction to me.

I started this diet at 19 and a half stone. Believe me, when your fat, you don’t happily sit in KFC stuffing your face. You’re eating that meal but your 100% aware of all the people judging you. Some would say that’s all in my mind, but after that post maybe not. When I was in secondary school I used to hide chocolate bars up my sleeve and take sneaky bites like I was too scared to be caught with it. And kids don’t bite their tongues, I had my fair share of grief about it.

I am guilty of looking at people with weight problems and wishing I could help them because of how much Slimming World has turned my life around. It’s like I’ve discovered something that’s made me happy and I want to share it, but having tried and failed more times than I wish to count, I know that it’s a change that’ll only stick if you really want it. When I watch that program, I don’t feel disgusted at the supersize, I feel sympathy. I may not have gorged to the extent that some on that program have, but I know what it is to binge eat and seek comfort in food. I sometimes do look at overweight people, and although this is pretty nasty perhaps, I feel glad it’s not me anymore. I don’t think any overweight person is completely happy with how they look. Hell, I don’t think any person is, size 8 or 28. When I watch that program, I feel more moved by the anorexics. In the episode where they had letters from their loved ones telling them they were more than just a disease, I cried.

A problem is a problem, and the how you treat sufferers shouldn’t just depend on if they are strong enough to seek help and do something about it like us. Some people have gone through really horrible stuff, some just comfort eat and some are just plain lazy and uneducated in healthy eating. You don’t know which is which and as such maybe should’nt regard everyone as needing a good shake. You say there shouldn’t be an obeseity problem with all the promotion of healthy eating, but as hard as it is to believe not everybody knows to follow a healthy diet, some people are just never taught that.

I tend to agree with vixxster on this issue, Your compassion for others shouldn’t just rely on if they are strong enough to get help, we’ve managed to help ourselves, we’re the lucky ones.

And pickle87 – Your very brave for posting that photo. I’ve been that girl before and I don’t know if I would have had the courage to post that. It’s really open and honest and good for you!

xx

 

[hayley morgan]

i have just watched the programme that started this in the first place this programme is designed to shock. the purpose of it is to get that light bulb turned on! and give them a reality check, on both sides not just the over weight.
under eating as well as over eating is seriously damaging our health. when i watched it i felt repulsion! but at myself because that's what i have been doing cramming all that food into me without a second thought for what i was doing to myself. i also felt sympathy and compassion and at a few points i actually cried because i connected with him. i felt the pain that he had been feeling and the feeling of helplessness at not being able to change.
as posted previously only the person that needs to loose weight can make the decision to change, someone made a comment to me before and what did it make me do? i went and bought a family size bar of chocolate and STUFFED my face with the whole lot. why? to stick 2 fingers up to them for being cowardly enough to shout out of his window oi fat arse! had he said it to my face i would have punched him one.
i'm loosing weight now only because i made the choice to do it.
a mate of mine had told me that her hubby wanted her to give up smoking and, so was refusing to buy her cigarettes. i asked her was it working? she said no it had just made her more determined to carry on smoking, why? because she liked it and didn't want to give up.
when i was little we were sent out most weekends at 9 am weren't allowed home till 4pm so most of the time we didn't used to have breakfast or lunch and, if you were naughty you were sent to bed with no tea. i remember me and my sister eating tissue on a few occasions because we were so hungry. when we did have tea it was breakfast cereal or sandwiches, crisps, biscuits or chip shop and, when we did get a cooked meal it was out of a tin, packet or the freezer.
this eating pattern continued over my teenage years, when i had a place of my own i would go days without eating.
people would ask me to go out to eat and i would say no, i'm on a diet, i hated eating in front of people. when i did eat it was junk food chips, crisps, bread and pasties. then when i gave up smoking it was like a switch turned on, i couldn't get enough of food the taste the smell oooooooooooooh like a kid in a sweet shop. i love food.
yes i'm doing something about it now but...... i still have binges and cram anything and everything in my mouth because for 13 years that's what i have done. its hard to break the cycle but i like to think i'm changing the way i feel about food slowly but surely.
everyone has hobbies mine just happens to be food!
and to end this i would just like to say well done to everyone here who has taken the decision to loose weight, i congratulate you all on your losses. its not easy and, there will be times when you stumble but those are the times when you need someone to put there arms around you and say come on you can do it. positive encouragement not belittlement and criticism.

 

[kaz1]

People are treating it as though youve said that these huge people are the devil or something. Malaika, what you said is TRUE. There is no excuse. We have ALL proven that it can be done. It doesn't matter if we are EXACTLY like them or not. We all have a weight problem, but we have done something about it. And it's not nasty to want other people to do something about it as well. Noone is saying it's easy, and noone is saying that we don't have the capability to become that big, but that doesn't mean that pointing out that they need to do something about it is nasty. Truth hurts.

 

[Going2be*fab*at40]

All I can say, is that it is easy to judge when you are feeling good about myself - I've done it.
However, when you are stuck in that cycle of not being able to control your food, it feels awful to be judged by other people (and yes, you know it happens).
Being successful at losing weight, makes you think that it is easy, but it is also easy to forget that HUGE decision and mind shift to start losing weight in the first place.
Where I am judgemental, is where parents feed their children rubbish and refuse to acknowledge that their children are overweight - that's a whole different story though.....
I agree with one of the earlier posts....perhaps we should let this one drop??
x

 

[x Nee x]

Just happened to pass by this thread, after reading the original post I wanted to get out of the thread and pretend that I had never seen it!

Im utterly shocked! On a weight loss support site with someone who themself, needed to lose a few pounds can even consider posting in this nature

What exactly is acceptable for someone to look like, must they be thin, normal, curvy, obese to be accepted??

I have struggled with weight for a number of years, to the point I have approx 120lbs or so to lose, I hate how I look, I hate what people must think of me and I hate that I cant always do what a slimmer person probably could.

I would never expect to come on to this site for someone to express how they are repulsed by a obese person

Personally, I watch the programme of supersize vs superskinny, neither side of these are perfect, I can watch and try and learn and see how I can benefit from the show, along with many other weight programmes on tv, you tube or whereever.

Does it not occur that firstly these people on the show that are making you feel sick are there to get help, totally contradicting the comment of 'if they are doing something its not so bad'

Who's to say the number of obese people walking around your town, arent doing anything and who is to say they should have to and should they be happy with themselves as they are, who are we to judge.

This world most certainly was not made to be perfect, whether its in mind, body, attitude, politics, religion and so on.

I say goodluck to those who are starting, congrat's to those who have lost and keep going to those who are a little demotivated.

Despite people like this opinions!!!!

 

[Gen]

If nothing else for me this site has challenged me to look at others in a different light.

I know even though I am about 6 stone overweight I see myself as a slim person... mad eh... and I do see other overweight people as not nice to look at... maybe its because I know my slim view is not reality... i dunno. From now on I will challenge any negative or judgemental view I have on any other person no matter what their difference/sameness.

Guys this post I feel was posted in good faith and has been taken up all wrong. Have a think about something that you have a judgement about and maybe look at that rather than attacking, those of you who have, the OP.

We all have prejudices and judgements on something or other... if ya don't you are super human!!

Rather than get mad about this use it to change something in your own head that you have an unfair judgement/prejudice about

xxxxxxx

 

[Indieflower]

If nothing else for me this site has challenged me to look at others in a different light.

I know even though I am about 6 stone overweight I see myself as a slim person... mad eh... and I do see other overweight people as not nice to look at... maybe its because I know my slim view is not reality... i dunno. From now on I will challenge any negative or judgemental view I have on any other person no matter what their difference/sameness.

Guys this post I feel was posted in good faith and has been taken up all wrong. Have a think about something that you have a judgement about and maybe look at that rather than attacking, those of you who have, the OP.

We all have prejudices and judgements on something or other... if ya don't you are super human!!

Rather than get mad about this use it to change something in your own head that you have an unfair judgement/prejudice about

xxxxxxx

I couldn't agree more xx

 

[x Nee x]

Guys this post I feel was posted in good faith and has been taken up all wrong. Have a think about something that you have a judgement about and maybe look at that rather than attacking, those of you who have, the OP.

Dont you think it is somewhat low to state on a weight loss forum where there are people of that category of all sizes to state how it repulses you, and makes you sick!

 

[Gen]

Dont you think it is somewhat low to state on a weight loss forum where there are people of that category of all sizes to state how it repulses you, and makes you sick!

Listen I am not saying it was right or wrong to post it here... what I am saying is my gut reaction on this was that it was taken up wrong by some.

What do you judge about someone else and have very strong feelings about??? Have a think about it and see how THEY would feel if they knew your inner thoughts about them..... and try to change that.

xx

 

[nattyclare78]

I think why people are getting upset it that she said she would never say this to anyone......but she did by posting it on here!

 

[Littleslimmingbee]

I have to agree with what Gen is saying,

We all feel very strongly about one thing or another, and no matter what that is SOMONE else out there WILL feel very differently about it. Unfortunatly because this perticular post was about a very sensitive subject, i can understand why so many of you are upset.. but as its been said.. if we all knew somthing about one another, about how we feel about a certain thing or what we may have done in our past.. we would all be judging each other.


Im sure if i told you about some things iv done, or how i feel towards certain people maybe you'd all be a little shocked at me. I think we could all be a little shocked at each other.. This is just how she feels, whether we feel it right or wrong, she was being honest. Im not saying i personally think what she was saying was right, as i said in my original post, isnt it funny how our perception of someone changes when you know that person is doing somthing about their problem.

i used to have a close friend who was a drug addict, everyone told me he wouldnt change and judged him, told me i was wasteing my time and that he knew what he was doing by getting sympathy from him, but i so wanted him to change. Then one day we came across someone else who was clearly off their face and my first reaction was 'omg, how can you do that to yourself.. '. and it occured to me he was no different than my friend.. and id never looked at my friend like that.


Its difficult, but malika has been nothing but helpful on this forum, and whether she's lost a million pounds or one pound, i know her advise has been invaluable to me on many occasions, and i know she has a good heart. It'd be a shame for a silly post, to upset the forum like this..


i thin it's time we leave it now, i really dont like all his fighting and quite fankly, im concerned about new members!


Come'on guys. *big hugs*


x

 

[kaz1]

Dont you think it is somewhat low to state on a weight loss forum where there are people of that category of all sizes to state how it repulses you, and makes you sick!

There is a major point missing from the argument here.
If we are so fat that we are repulsed by ourselves, how is it unfair for someone else to be repulsed by us? Havent you ever looked in the mirror and just felt ill?
The reason we're losing weight is so that both ourselves and other people don't think that.

 

[kaz1]

Ps. FernXX, good post. Kiss and make up!

:character00148:
:love:
:candledinner:

 

[x Nee x]

There is a major point missing from the argument here.
If we are so fat that we are repulsed by ourselves, how is it unfair for someone else to be repulsed by us? Havent you ever looked in the mirror and just felt ill?
The reason we're losing weight is so that both ourselves and other people don't think that.

I see your point, but this is supposed to be a weight loss forum, supporting each other with encouragement not somewhere to express disgust in others.

I dont feel I need to explain myself as I feel the first post says it all.

I also agree time to move on but like many others have I wanted to say how it made me feel, for which I am not sorry.

End of

xx

 

[Margery Dawe]

I think this thread needs to be left now.

I am sure that Malaika never meant to hurt and upset so many people. I know some of you are hurt and upset by what has been said, but I can guarantee you that Makaika is feeling bloody crap, sick, worried and God knows what else with the thought of hurting any of you.

I am sure we have all been guilty in the past of opening our mouths and putting our foot right in it and wish with all our heart that we could take the words back. Let's give her some slack and drop the thread.

Big hugs to everyone, including Malaika.

:gen126:

 

[Fatty_no_more]

Can i just add my two pennies worth?

Right before i was pregnant i indeed was large i was a size 16-18 and i cant even remember my weight.
But I have always suffered from a benign brain tumor, its in my pituatry gland and iof anyone knows its the main hormone of the body.
I had my baby and since then i have ballooned because now? Its functioning. I hate myself and my body and i am now a size 20-22. I did eat more granted when i was pregnant but i also spent most of the 9 months in hospital from being so ill.
I brought the sixe 16-18 on myself but not this. This was my living nightmare.
It hurts to know that people look at me and think that i have eaten all the pies and often get shouted at in the street! Little do they know i AM doing something about it and I am fighting against a medical condition also.

Please dont judge. you dont know whats going on inside.
x

 

[malaika]

Firstly, I would like to thank everyone here who has supported me, on the thread, and privately. It really does mean a lot to me, as those who have done so have seen what I was getting at!

There are certain comments I would like to answer to: “Until you've walked a mile in someone elses shoes I think it is difficult to cast judgement.”... I have walked many miles in those shoes, and though I will always sympathise, I too, have been there.
I absolutely know about addiction, so I feel that I actually have a right to speak on the topic, be it food or others. I was a gambler, and lost a lot of money, and almost lost everything, including my family due to this addiction. Fortunately, I had a light bulb moment so I was saved so I do know how hard it can be. However, I did it, and am proud to admit I beat it. I admit I have a huge addictive personality, and I struggle with it, daily, including food addiction, so I, to a certain extent , can agree why people have got angry with my comments. But I do actually know what I am talking about.

The first post may have been posted without thinking about the consequences. The second one just shows you for the person you really are. Someone who has never been overweight. Who hasn't got a clue what a weight problem is. Who obviously lost it fairly easily on a plan that only works for some. Who dare come on a weightloss forum, obviously dominated by those who have weight problems and weight to lose, and make judgements about those on it. Unbelievable!!
Lynda

Sorry, but that is absolute garbage! I have ALWAYS been overweight, and have struggled with my weight. I have done every diet in the book for the last 40 years, so I do know what a weight problem is! Yes, I have dared to come on the forum, which I have been a member for some time, and am really supportive of people trying! I just stated my personal opinion. Sorry, but because I did not allow myself to become obese, does not make me someone without a weight problem. I will always have that problem, and will always be aware of my short falls!

To close the topic, on my part, and this is my last post on the matter:
I was NOT pointing a finger at any member here. I know that everyone here is trying to do something about their weight, and I am more than happy to assist anyone who is. My point is those who are not. I am not referring to people I see eating at KFC or McDonalds. We all do that. I am referring to people who eat junk food all the time. I know, and have seen many people who only eat junk 24/7 who make absolutely no effort. They must know their health is at risk yet they continue.
Anyway, I have said my point, and this is definitely my last post on this topic.

 

[Indieflower]

Sonia,

I just wanted to say very well said!! As I have already said to you, you have been a great support to others and I think so many have jumped onto a band wagon and taking things the wrong way.

This too will be my last to say on the subject also, and I am hoping that others will leave it be too.

Look forward to seeing many,many more of your invaluable supprtive posts you are known for Sonia xx

 

[Littleslimmingbee]

Im ready to kiss and makeup... whos with me

 

[Indieflower]

Im ready to kiss and makeup... whos with me

Lol....ok one more post....kiss and make up

xx