Am I a nasty person?

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by malaika, 23 April 2010 Social URL.

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  1. malaika

    malaika Lover of Extra Easy

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    I have always had a weight issue and was never really happy with my weight until now, but sometimes I think...... how can anyone get to such a weight and not do anything?
    On the TV show, (I think it's called) Superfat?? vs Superskinny, I sometimes am totally repulsed at the fat person on the show. When I see what they eat, I actually feel sick. That fat just repulses me :eek: Particularly when they show those obese people in America who admit they stink under their massive folds!
    In the street, when I see really large people, I want to shake them, and ask them how can they allow themselves to get that large... I don't get it, and for me, there is absolutely no excuse. Obviously, I never say anything, but I just don't get it.
    Am I nasty? Perhaps I am, but I just can't get it, as there is so much reported nowadays about healthy eating and the health issues with obesity.
    As I am a member here, and I also have weight issues, as do all our members but it still really irks me to see people who don't make an effort to help themselves.
    Does anyone feel this this, or am I just horrible :cry:
     
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  3. Littleslimmingbee

    Littleslimmingbee Gold Member

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    No no your deffinatly not horrible!

    I totally agree, i do look at some people who may cross my path who is very large and think - really? how can you not be doing somthing about it? but then i have to remind myself.. how do i not know they havnt already - for example- joined slimmingworld and lost 5stone?

    I often wonder how someone could get so big, but then i also know deep down, food is an addiction to many, and its very sad that some just never get their head around doing somthing about it. Somtimes i feel like i have this massive secret, that i just want to tell them how amazing slimmingworld is.. that they can do it too.. it is possible..

    It's funny isnt it, how we are completly repulsed by someone so large they are in bed because they can no longer move, yet if that person really was trying to lose wieght and was activly doing somthing about it.. we'd see them in a different light?

    i count myself lucky i never got 'that' big. Even though to me, my heaviest weight is 'massive' - some would kill to have 14st 8.5lbs as a starting weight you know? but for me, i grieve that my mother paid for a nutrionalist when i was 10, and wieghed 9stone, yet didnt seize the oppurtunity and let it pass me by..

    everyone has their moment, when they realise how dier the situation is.. but not all have it in them to change it.. somtimes not even the danger to thier lives do it, others just wake up one morning and feel the need for change.


    to be fair also... showing someone that big naked on tellys a bit unfair, im sure if dressed suitably we'd all feel a bit better lol... however i also look at the skinny's and feel just as sad.. even more so because they all look like my mum and it scares me!
     
  4. hayley morgan

    hayley morgan Full Member

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    well im one of those people who didnt realise how big i was.
    i was a tiny 9 and 1/2 stone and a uk size 10, had been that weight since i can remember untill i found out i was pregnant for my first baby.
    i had been a smoker for many years and this was my insentive to give up.

    if someone had told me i would be this big i would never had given up. sounds bad doesnt it? but being over weight carries the same if not more health risks then if i carried on smoking.

    all i did unknowingly was swap one craving for another.
    giving up was easy after a few days and, the cravings i got everyone told me was because i was pregnant and they would stop as soon as i had the baby but they didnt.

    i balooned up to a size 22/ 24 and steadily put on weight over the next few years untill i reached a size 32 / 34 it wasnt untill we had a bbq and someone had taken a photo of me and showed it to me that i realised just how big i was. i was determined to loose weight but always failed as ive never been able to control the cravings. this is the first time ive been able to loose weight on my own. so for me it was easy to put the weight on and not realise just how big i was. obviously im not stupid i knew i was big but untill i saw the photo would have carried on unaware what i was doing to myself.
     
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  5. Debs154

    Debs154 Trying again!!

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    I find the only thing that irritates me is when I see programmes about obese children and the parents are there - obviously obese too saying that they can't understand it and professing to be giving their children healthy food!
    I can sort of understand the mentality of people getting so big that it just seems to be such a big hurdle to do anything about it. Mind you I work with drug users and alcoholics so I wouldn't be much use if I didn't understand it to a degree.
     
  6. cheraus

    cheraus Full Member

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    So do you ask how an anorexic has 'let themselves' get so thin and doesn't do anything about it??? Both conditions are psychological, both are dangerous to your health, both can cause death. The difference- an anorexic receives help and sympathy, an obese person receives ridicule and prejudice- making the problem worse.
     
  7. hayley morgan

    hayley morgan Full Member

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    well said!
     
  8. Porgeous

    Porgeous Chilling

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    Until you've walked a mile in someone elses shoes I think it is difficult to cast judgement.
     
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  9. Twice

    Twice Member

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    You are patently not nasty - just someone who has found something that works and who wants to share that plan with others. I can look at the "superzize" guys and go - only a 56 inch waist - pah. It is so so easy to go from overweight to obese to the m world obese if you do not have the controls in your life to stop you. If the nearest thing to happiness you have is that "stuffed" feeling and every attempt by those around to help you you treat as criticism and turn to comfort eating. And that bad stuff does taste good.
     
  10. mummado

    mummado Member

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    Wel said cheraus. Its very difficult, because i know i am obese but i dont think i look the weight i am, so when i see these people on the tv who weight what i do, i think well hang on. I dont look like that.
    Who knows maybe i am kidding myself.

    it doesn't make you a bad person as long as you don't become the fat police and start marching up to people and giving them advice lol :p
     
  11. tinkerbellsmum

    tinkerbellsmum Gold Member

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    I think losing weight is really hard and thinking you have 5 stone to lose can be disheartning I know thats what I had to lose at the beginning but thinking you have 10 or more to lose must be mega hard so I can see while some people find it easier not to try.
    the other thing is weight creeps on I promised myself I would never go over 13st but this time I weight in at 14.6
    I know myself that one thing that put me off about losing weight is what if I don't look good and another thing is when you are big or slim you can be invisable and if you are slim sometimes you can gain sometimes unwanted attention.
    I think the main reason there is more people obsese these days is because people aren't educated on what is good for them and the hidden fat in things that shops like to hide
     
  12. cocktailprincess

    cocktailprincess Still rockin' it

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    I think if you asked this question on a non-weight related site you would get many people who agreed with you. Hopefully you will get a more balanced view from here as this is a weight loss support site, where many members have the problems that you mention.

    I know on your other thread you talked about nasty comments, and I think this was a perfect display of how someone, when they don't understand another, can be very hurtful. I understand you can't help it if you feel repulsed or physically sick by someone's size, but think that maybe a support site for overweight people may not be the best place to get reassurance from on this.

    You are always really supportive to the rest of us, and obviously have weight issues of your own, so I know you must truly understand that these issues go a lot deeper than they appear

    xxx
     
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  13. Lonestitcher

    Lonestitcher Silver Member

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    :mad::mad::mad:

    I can't even write what I think about your comment OP.

    :mad::mad::mad:
     
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  14. Indieflower

    Indieflower I have my mojo

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    I think I get where you are coming from. As someone that has struggled greatly with weight for the vast majority of my life when I see a person that is clearly struggling the way I have and do I want to give them a shake and say "there is something you can do about it!!". I don't feel this way because they repulse me, it's because I was once that person. There was a time where I could never have imagined being where I am now, and I am sure that others feel the same. Those people I see that I want to help more than anything will reach the same place as us in their own time. As someone already said, a battle with weight runs deeper than the size of your clothes and the number on the scales, it is an emotional journey.

    I don't think you are a bad person. What I get from what you have said is that you feel a frustration at wanting to be able to help someone in that position, like so many of us on here have been and still are. The thing is, we can only really help ourselves. It is not until someone is ready that they can start that journey.

    I remember being stared at and mocked, or worst of all kids in my area saying nasty things about me to my daughter. That hurt! What I'm trying to say is that it's not as black and white as we would always like to see it.

    And, I have to say Hayley's first comment, that was really touching to read! There is such a sincerity in your words and I am sooo happy to see that you have found something that is working for you. :D

    K xx
     
  15. malaika

    malaika Lover of Extra Easy

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    I am truly sorry if I offended anyone. Believe me that was not my intention, and I would never be nasty and say anything to anyone. I just don't get it, and would love to be able to tell people to do something before it's too late for them.
    I know I also have food issues or I wouldn't be here, but I am fortunate enough to have realised that. Not everyone has had the light bulb moment, and I do wish I could somehow help.

    CP, you are right. Perhaps I should not have posted my thoughts here, and I do try to help where I can as I know I also do have issues or I wouldn't be here.
    Sometimes I really ought to put my brain into gear before saying anything... and yes I do know that there must be underlying issues but I still can't help wishing I could say something to help total strangers!

    Once again, my apologies. I will ensure I have my brain in gear in the future.
     
  16. eternity

    eternity Gold Member

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    I agree totally with you! Very well said.

    I agree with Cocktailprincess too.
     
  17. mummado

    mummado Member

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    The problem is that if someone who has issues with food/weight etc can't see how hard it can be to lose weight then what hope do we really have in changing peoples horrible opinions on overweight people.
     
  18. Bashful

    Bashful Slowly Getting There ....

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    I can't watch the really large people on superfat vs superskinny- it makes me cry

    Not entirely sure why... not in a bad way, you understand, just that the way they talk seems completely hopeless and they are saying to people not altogether a lot heavier than me that they were like that once...

    ...just like me...

    ...but that it all seemed to happen bit by bit

    I think maybe I'm scared?

    I don't know really... I just can't watch them without crying :(

    ....emotional wrecks-r-us anyone?

    xxxx
     
  19. Xassy

    Xassy Silver Member

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    Anorexia is a mental illness. Obesity, alone, is not. I'm going to hazaard a guess that an awful lot of people with obesity do have serious psychological problems but not all of them. This makes it very confusing and difficult. That said, I would never think badly of an obese person, whatever their reasons for overeating are.
     
  20. Mummoth

    Mummoth Silver Member

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    I don't think you're nasty. You're entitled to your opinion & you're being honest here.

    Personally, every time I gained a bit more weight I would tell myself it's only another 2lbs, 3lbs, stone, a dress size, whatever. The trouble is then those few lbs & dress sizes add up, until you're a whopping size 26 (in my case). Then it seems such a huge task to lose weight. Yes it's my own doing, no-one else is to blame. I always say my on-off switch is faulty - I never get that 'nicely full couldn't eat another thing' signal. Is that due to my own greed? Have I pushed my own button too far, stretched my H-U-G-E stomach? Every time someone says something like 'fat cow', or even the **ahem** nice comment of 'but you have such a pretty face', does it make an obese person reach for the salad? or a doughnut?

    It's too easy to say that an obese person is so because of sheer greed alone. I think there are far deeper issues related to food - its comfort and the love/hate relationship we have with it.

    What annoys me is that my hubby (slim all his life) has smoked since he was 11, between 20 & 40 fags a day. He can go to the doctor's and ask for help giving up. He will get offered patches, gum, a placebo ciggy thing, a self-help pack, access to a one to one assistant, a help-group. When I went to the doctors weighing 19 stone and asked for help to stick to a diet I was told to eat less and exercise more. Of course, why didn't I think of that!
     
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  21. Wish

    Wish Silver Member

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    Totally on the same page as you Jan, I agree 100%!
     
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