AM I SELFISH?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by BREN, 18 August 2008 Social URL.

  1. BREN

    BREN is going to loose!

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    I'm going home in about 4/5 weeks to visit family and dont want to go home feeling frumpy and fat! I only want to loose about 4 kilos before then and another 3 kilos by Xmas...... I've now just heard that my sister in law has lost quite a bit of her post pregnancy weight after giving birth to her second in April and I dont want to be the fatty!!!

    I am happy that she has lost her weight after being overweight for about 5 years.. but I was there less than a year ago and want to be back there... feeling thin, loving shopping etc.

    Bren
    X:cry:
     
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  3. Taz

    Taz Spam Hunter

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    You are not selfish at all. When we feel that we have acheived something there is no harder kick in the teeth than hearing that someone else has done it too and possibly better than us!
     
  4. Carolanski

    Carolanski Back to it!

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    I agree with Taz - you're not being selfish - its perfectly understandable how you're feeling. It somehow feels like your own achievements will be belittled.

    However - you still have 4-5 weeks to go - you could easily do another few kilos by then AND more importantly - YOU ARE FAR FROM FAT AND FRUMPY!!!!

    I've just checked out your pictures and you look absolutely fantastic - and I dare anyone to say you are fat or frumpy - I'll fly over and give them what for!!!!

    Your BMI is only barely over normal now - you are nearly there already- keep going because if you give up because of what someone else has done you will really regret it

    Lots of hugs - chin up you will get there 5 weeks is an age away - you'll look even fabber then

    Carol x
     
  5. BREN

    BREN is going to loose!

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    Thanks girls.

    It's just awful when you have been there and know how it feels to be thin and confident and happy within your clothes and skin and to have let it slip through your fingers.

    I also had a very very bleak moment today, as I have been the past few weeks, I'm quite overwhelmed and depressed. I went to the doctor today and completely crumbled. I've been prescribed some medication but not sure now if I want to take it.

    I know this has made me feel ultra sensitive and unconfident at the moment.

    Thanks again, Brenda
    XX
     
  6. Carolanski

    Carolanski Back to it!

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    Sorry to hear you are so down. Everything takes on massive proportions when you're feeling depressed.

    And I do understand what you're feeling - when you've been really slim or you're used to being really slim and you put on what seems to everyone else like just a little bit of weight - you know that for you its a big deal. And its how you feel in your own skin that matters. I know - I've been there and its really hard, particularly as you don't want to make a big fuss, because in comparison to other people who've got loads to lose, you feel you can't complain - but it doesn't stop it hurting you just internalise it.

    Only you can decide whether the tablets are the way for you to go - do you have counselling available? Is that an option? Sometimes talking things through with someone completely unconnected can help put things in perspective.

    Hope today finds you feeling a little better - sending hugs and huge positive vibes down under xxx

    Carol x
     
  7. Bunnyg

    Bunnyg Determined

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    Totally understand - it's a horrible feeling being the bigger one, I absolutely hate it! You could lose a good amount by that time though, you'll be looking great x

    Hopefully the medication will help a lot with your feelings. I know I have had to do it in the past and it really has helped x
     
  8. cateka

    cateka Full Member

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    Most likely she's been feeling the same way about you for ages :) Karma Police.
     
  9. BREN

    BREN is going to loose!

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    Cateka - very true, I completely didn't think of this.

    Bunny and Carolanski, I've decided not to take my medication. I do have the option of speaking to a counsellor though and this is sounding good.

    I'm really over analyizing everything even down to whether my husband loves me and this is not good. We have just moced across the country about 5 months ago and things have been tough for example he works nights and we are always on opposite clocks.
     
  10. KittyB

    KittyB Gold Member

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    Hi Bren,
    I see a counsellor rather than take meds and I have to say for me, it's making a huge difference.
    Hope you're ok, and can get the support you need to help you feel better
    x
     
  11. BREN

    BREN is going to loose!

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    Thanks KittyB

    I used to see someone purely theraputic in Perth and since we have moved I've not been free to seek one over here. It is hard too because all my friends are in Perth and I know there's the phone but your right it is easier to talk to someone completely nuetral.

    Bren
    X
     
  12. KittyB

    KittyB Gold Member

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    I agree with you there. I've found I can say so much more to my counsellor that I probably don't even discuss with my DH or friends.

    Have you made any friends yet in the new area?

    x
     
  13. BREN

    BREN is going to loose!

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    One of my close friends also moved here and she's here for a year. Other friend also from Perth and has been here a year and will return to Perth in a few years.

    My work collegues are nice but no one really around my age. A friend of a friend who's Canadian is over here on a work visa and we have caught up a few times and get along really well however, I dont feel comfortable discussing these things with her yet.

    I'm going back to the doc's on Tuesday and will tell him about not taking the meds and I will try and get in touch with a counsellor this week as the Dr gave me some recommendations.

    X

    What diet are you doing?
     
  14. KittyB

    KittyB Gold Member

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    I'm supposed to be doing WW - but just haven't managed to get my head in gear yet.
    I keep trying, and know i'll get there - one day! :)
    I've just realised you're down under! - I thought you were in scotland when I saw Perth lol *blushes*

    I was just wondering if you spent a lot of time on your own if your DH works opposite shifts to you?
    Are you staying there perm? or are you just there for a year or so?
    x
     
  15. BREN

    BREN is going to loose!

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    Permanently! Yes I'm alone alot which may be the cause and he probably is as well as most of our friends are in Perth.
     
  16. Taz

    Taz Spam Hunter

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    Being on your own too much can lead to wild thoughts which seems to be what you are thinking now. You need to look at other options, either finding a hobby to take your mind off it or some way you can both get more compatible shifts
     
  17. BREN

    BREN is going to loose!

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    I know..... Although I'm a teacher and he's a truck driver for the Post (mail).

    Today I'm feeling much better and off to the Dr's tomorrow to sought out my head.

    X
     
  18. Taz

    Taz Spam Hunter

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    Aw hun ((((((Hugs))))))
     
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