Annoyed, LL & LLC.. Could quit join CD ??

[Professor]

Apologises RANT time....

Well i am into my 4th week already and lost another 5lb this week, meaning i have now lost just 20lb in 3weeks. I am happy with the diet itself and still very commited to it and i Will complete it.

BUT, i am growing increasingly peeved of my group meetings and the attitude of my LLC's ( say plural as in 4 weeks 2 meetings have been the locum )

When i first met with them before starting LL i was asked which days/nights suited me best for meetings, i clearly said weekends are a big problem for me as my work means i work 2-3 weekends a month. Guess what, the following day i got a call saying yes LL group will start next week group meetings will be weekly on saturday mornings ! I made it clear that i may not be able to attend many meetings in that case.

Anyway i have managed to attend 3 of the 4 meetings so far which i felt was good, but now my boss has reminded me that i am contracted to work weekends and i most commit weekends to work. Now my LLC and her Locum treat me like a child and attempt to claim my work is my problem with work etc? i quote

Lee, this is your time, you have taken the decision to change your life, and also you have commited to being here! Maybe your job is the cause of your inner problems and your weight, we feel you need to commit to LL and maybe you should look at putting your foot down at work and maybe a career change?

What the hell !! What utter "counsellor" claptrap, i have been overweight since about 10years old, i have only joined my new employer 4mths ago and still on 6mth probation and to me i can earn 4times the money at a weekend i can in the week! And all this as SHE decided meetings would be at the weekends, ignoring my note that i cant do weekends!

On top of that problem, i am also annoyed of the so called "group" meetings. I say this as we are a group of 4 men only, and clearly the other guys have busy weekends like me, as in 4 meetings i never seen more than 2 of us there at any one time! And i have only seen my counsellor twice in 4 weeks, as the locum stood in twice. We only get an hour meeting NO books NO dvds, just silly chatting and so-called counselling.

Now apologises to knock the counselling, but i studied human phsychology for 2-3 years and have also taken courses in hypnosis methods and NLP/CBT (never practised purely done for interest) And so far i have learnt nothing i didnt know already and find there counselling SO damn patronising! so far we covered:

-Setting goals (i had done this weeks before myself)

-Willpower (as i sat in fav takeaways with friends this week with a water i am in control)

-Group agreement (LOL what a joke, 2 blokes and we both agreed the "agreement" was simple common sense (confidential etc etc) so what point?

And when i politely mentioned i was experienced in psychology and so far had gained nothing from the meetings i got even more bl**dy patronising responses:
Quote:

Lee, you say you know all this already (not true!!) and yet you have a weight problem clearly, so something has gone wrong and we need to re-cover old ground then for you

I just find them so damn patronising at all times, i feel like a 5yr old in front of the headteacher. I could stand up there and use neuro programming techniques and lose them completely in there clearly limited "counselling" training!

Hhhmm, so what do i do folks? I am seriously thinking of quitting LL and doing one of the following:

-Just doing SS myself using slimfast etc

-Joining CD asap (prefer this, but annoyed explaining to Doctor i need a 2nd approval!)

-Contacting LL themselves, and ruin any relationship with current LLC

 

[IreneH]

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with LL. I have only been on CD and there are many people who have changed over from LL to CD successfully. Your job is important to you and therefore you need to see a counsellor whether LL or CD as a convenient time outside your working hours.
I don't think you are getting enough out of LL and would therefore be better changing to something that would suit you better
Irene xx

 

[chicken on a mission]

I know nothing about CBT, nor have I done LL but I have always wondered about it and whether it would be useful - but if those are the sorts of comments that your LLC has come out with as a result of all of their CBT training (which I have been led to believe is lengthy and in depth) then I dont have to wonder anymore

Victoria

Victoria

One bad apple does not make a......whatever the rest of the saying is!

For a balanced view, try looking at my experiences and how much I have benefited by the LL counselling by going to my management diary and reading my posts in it

 

[KittyB]

Hi Lee
I'm just about to switch between LL and CD.

I've been having a few 'womans' problems since starting LL and my Dr has asked that I follow a plan that is around 800 cals a day rather than 500. Unf, LL can't offer that my LLC told me it was abstinance or maintenance...no in between.

I've been having CBT on a weekly basis for the last 2 years to try and fight my 'demons' and I truly believe it's lead me to the stage I'm at now to start tackling my weight problems.
I haven't found the LLC sessions particulary helpful, and I'm sure it's because I've been lucky enough to have studied these areas in a one 2 one enviroment with my therapist.
Having said that I know what a revelation TA was to me when I first discovered it. So for the people in my group learning about this for the first time, they're getting huge benefits from it

I could never understand why I could tackle mountains at work and quiver at molehills at home.
Turns out the 'Adult' was going to work....the 'Adaptive Child' was at home!

I'm looking forward to starting the CD and I'm lucky to have the additonal counselling where I could tackle problems if needs be.

I was worried that I'd be failing by switching from LL to CD790 but it was just my schemas kicking me up the arse telling me 'See you always give up'....the adult now tells them 'Shut it! you're doing fine, and you'll do just fine on the new plan and feel better for it'

Thinking about you ((((hugs))))

Kitty xxx

 

[Shadow]

I'm sorry to hear that you are not enjoying LighterLife.

I do believe though, that one of the reasons your LLC would have been absent is because the Counsellors are all away at a LL Conference this weekend where the New Mens Programme is being launched. I wondered if it would be worth your while hanging on until you find out what changes are available.

I do agree that you can't keep missing work to attend meetings. I wonder if there are any alternative groups in your area?

If you have already studied CBT, you will be very have a very good understanding of whats being taught and sometimes recovering old ground can be very useful in finding the answer that you have obviously not found already.

I'm lucky to have a lovely LLC and have had a very positive experience from start to finish, but we are all different and whats for one isn't always the best for another.

Look forward to hearing what you decide to do, keep us posted please.

 

[Joolz]

I don't think you should miss work to attend meeting either. Yes losing the weight is a No.1 priority (thats why we do this bonkers diet) BUT there has to be a balance - and the extra stress caused by worrying about missing work and the effect of that will not help you.

Talk to your LLC (I know yuo've tried) and make it clear tht a week day meeting is the only option for you. If that fails then you really need to find another group/LLC.

And you do have the option of swapping to CD - others I know have done this successfully - for me LL seems to suit me, so I have stuck with it and do find SOME of the group work helpful.

The important thing is not to give up completely - you've done the tough part already.
Hope you work it out...good luck.

 

[FatFairNForty(ish)]

Wow Joolz - ace weight loss!

To the professor...

I think it's rotten luck to have ended up in the situation you have, and, whether switching is the solution or not , I have no idea.

I have no experience to draw from, I would say however, that you need to switch groups to one which you can always attend.

I'm appalled at the attitude to your work.. working enables us to support ourselves, and bring in the income needed to live. I know weight loss is a very high priority, but, working is too. Without the one,I for one, could not contemplate the other.

That said, I would guess that with your academic background that you will probably always find in any counselling session, things you have covered/done.

The thing is, as you know, in a group setting, there has to be a level playing field.

Confidentiality agreements are essential, and, it enables people to speak freely if they are absolutely clear that their comments will remain in confidence.

Yes, to you and I it is common sense, but it still needs stating very clearly too. You know, as a student of psychology, just how it works.

There are, as you know, good and bad in all arenas of life. There are too those we simply cannot get along with.

I would draw a line, get another group and carry on - you are doing fantastically already and have said you are committed to the diet.. so... vote with your feet my friend! (that's what I would do.. )

Good luck !

 

[Professor]

Thanks all, well 3 days later and my LLC still has not phoned me as promised!
I think i likely to be contacting LL in next day or two if she doesnt get her act together.

 

[i'lldoit]

Not very good is it Lee!You could call LL and ask them to keep who it was (you) from your counsellor who complained,if they dont make it too detailed maybe she won't know its you?As there is 4 guys in your group and they feel the same it could be any of you?You are entilted to good service for all the money we pay?What will you do if you get no-where with them will you try and find another LLC or go onto CD?
XXC

 

[Coley]

Hey Prof!! you're getting along at an alarming rate aren't you??

I did LL before going over to CD. In some ways I found the excercises very useful...my LLC however, was complete and utter rubbish. Needless to say, not returning phone calls, stuff not in stock EVER, talked about herself constantly......sooooooo a gazillion complaints to head office and she is now in liquidation.

Don't go anywhere near slimfast, been there, done that....sugar sugar sugar and makes you fecken hungry it does!

If you are getting nothing from the counselling, change to CD. Simple as that. I loved LL for what it was, but I would never go back now. The packs, although made by the same people seem to be a million times better and the sheer variety of stuff makes me actually ENJOY the diet, rather than just have it cause I have to. Weight loss is the same, you'd still be on 4 packs a day and it's cheaper!

It really is up to you...plus....you wouldn't have to sit about for 2 hours going into your personal life and sharing it with people you don't want to do that with. If it were me, I wouldn't give it a second thought and it's not because I'm biased, I have done both. Best of luck!! Let us know how you get on.

 

[Professor]

Offically complained to Lighterlife now as in a week when she promised to call, she still hasnt. Dont think whatever happens now i will be seeing her again after HQ calls her!!

Luckily i still have 10days worth of packs left!

Heres my long email to her and Lighterlife (names blotted out ofc):

Dear Lighterlife


Below is a copy of an email I sent to my counsellor ************ in ******, I have felt very pressured by **** and her locum **** to cancel my work and attend meetings when I clearly pointed out to her at the outset that weekends is not an option for me, I am forking out for counselling meetings I cant attend right now, and all I get from **** and ****** is "you committed to boundaries Lee" which is totally unfair as they have broken the boundaries by making meetings on a day I cannot attend?

To make matters worse in my first 4 weeks of Lighterlife I have only seen my counsellor twice as she has not attended 2 meetings and her locum has stood in, now I read your literature somewhere that this I quote "would never happen during first weeks of foundation" ? None of the guys in our group (only 3 of us anyway!) have received any books/DVDs or even watched any DVDs at meetings, I seem to paying over £66 a week for an hours chat and some packs, no counsellor, no DVDs, no literature etc. Yes the weights dropping off great, but I could lose the same on the Cambridge Diet for half the cost?

Please read attached email to ***** (as after a week of promising to contact me I have heard nothing?!) and please advise me ASAP of what I should do please, I am very close to quitting Lighterlife to join Cambridge due to the problems I have experienced so far, maybe another counsellor you have can help.

Look forward to a reply today if at all possible

Yours

Lee Bennett


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copy Email to ************:

Hi ******


Sorry to email, but working shifts in London and not really able to get to phone much this week.

***** did promise me you would be in touch sometime this week to have a chat regards things? As the messages I left on your answer phone also stated my Boss has laid down the law now and weekends are pretty much a No-No it seems, sadly unless group meetings can be moved to a weekday evening I am unlikely to be able to attend anymore weekends, and as ***** knows I cant definitely do this weekend.

I cant deny I am a little bit miffed that when I first visited you I clearly stated that weekends are not a good time for meetings with me, yet you still called the following week to advise me group meetings would be Saturday mornings at 10.30. Okay I agreed to this but did state that I will only attend the meetings I could due to work. Now since then I sadly feel very hounded by the "boundaries" and "group agreements" to attend meetings, when I clearly pointed out I could not from day one? To be honest I am not prepared to continue forking out £66 a week for meetings I cant attend.

Sadly unless meetings change ASAP or another Lighterlife counsellor can accommodate me I shall need to join the Cambridge Diet ASAP,
Drop me an email if possible please ****, I don't have any day off now until next Thursday.

Thanks

 

[i'lldoit]

FINGERS CROSSED FOR A GOOD REPLY XX

WHEN ARE WE MEANT TO BE GIVEN DVDS TO TAKE HOME???? WHEN ARE WE MEANT TO GET THE EXERCISE STUFF??? DO YOU KNOW LEE?
THANKS
XXC

 

[Professor]

No idea, never been given anything but packs !

 

[Isobel1965]

Remind me not to get on the wrong side of you, Lee! Lol!

Great letter!

 

[tashy100]

Your experience doesnt sound very satisfactory at all. At 66 pounds per week (or whatever it is) you should certainly be expecting a better service.

My Dad has just done LL and he saw his counsellor weekly but ON HIS OWN!! He wasnt interested in the counselling and definately not in the group stuff!! and they worked something out between them - he has been very happy.

However - if sounds as if you would be just as happy with CD - better flavours - same result - cheaper - and more than likely at times to suit you rather than the other way about.

Hope it works out for you - and whatever happens - great weight loss - keep going!!

Tasha

 

[demon]

Remind me not to get on the wrong side of you, Lee! Lol!

isobel!!!!!

Good luck in getting this resolved lee, you deserve a much better service

 

[JustJo]

You sound as though you've had a crappy experience, Lee. I'm astonished that you're being expected to put LL meetings before work commitments.

As a Cambridge counsellor (and, i'm not touting for business, as I live absolutely nowhere near you!), I can reassure you that, if you decide to embark on the Cambridge diet, you won't need to get your doctor's approval unless you have any contra-indicated medical conditions, or are taking medication. If you're healthy and have no medical problems, you can sign your own record form and won't need to see your doctor at all.

To be honest, although i'm sure the LL counselling is a godsend for many, it sounds as though it is unnecessary for you. As you could do Cambridge for a lot less money, it would seem to me that this might be a wise option.

Good luck with whatever you decide.


Jo x

 

[Professor]

Decision made,

I start with CD Counsellor this evening, sadly LL themselves even not bothered replying to complaint so that was decision made.

All my LL friends... I be in CD forums now

 

[i'lldoit]

Good Luck M8

Decision made,

I start with CD Counsellor this evening, sadly LL themselves even not bothered replying to complaint so that was decision made.

All my LL friends... I be in CD forums now

AAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh ((hugs))
That not on is it!!!! They are silly as they will lose alot of customers like that.I did Cd last year and the choice of flavours was fab I lost quick on it too,so good luck M8 you'll still fly those lbs off and save a fourtune
xxc

 

[Professor]

Well i still post/stay here too