Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
Evening folks....erm, morning I mean!
I hope you all coped well today, and if you did struggle, or lapse, remember - it's OK, and today is a new day. It's a realy challenge - so hearty well dones to those who were successful!!
This time, last year, I was 2 weeks away from starting LL. This year, now, I am one week away from completing RTM.
This STILL makes my head whirl - that I have done it......me....I have actually done it. In the space of a year. It is truly amazing, but still mind boggling.
I am really "getting it" loud and clear lately, that there is truly a "head needs to catch up with the body" phase at the end of this road, and I reckon that is what 2009 is going to be about.
As I was alone this morning, I went for a lovely long walk at about 8am. I walked 3.5 miles, which I have not done for quite some time!!! Another blessing.
It was cold, and grey and slighlty misty. Perfect. And walking through town was lovely, though it did have an apocolyptic feel about it. There was not a soul to be seen- not a car, not a light in a window. The town never looked so good.
After walking a ways down the beach I stopped at a rocky defense thing, and rolled a fag and took some photos. I'll post some later maybe. (will be a nice change not to see loo walls, ay!!?
)
It was jut so bloomin tranquil - the sky was beautiful, birds were out. It was a fantastic way to start Christmas day.
I had a couple of thoughts, which is one reason I really do love walking, as much as I hate exercise - if that makes sense. lol ANyway - I realised, and accept (which is a big big step for me) that if there is ANY hope of my maintaining this loss, then I MUST make exercise a permanent part of my life. End of. There is no negotiating - this point is finite. It just won;t work without it.....so, after years and years of a power struggle with my knowing I need to exercise and denying it equally as strong - I lay my sword down. I will make it a normal and habitual part of my new life. One step at a time.
I also thought about New Years resolutions, and how I stopped making them about 20 years ago because I got so bored year after year of saying "I will lose weight this year". So I finally made one last one: To not make any more NY resolutions.
But, I intend to break that silence....because I think resolutions are good, if they make you strive to be a better person, in whatever way.
So, I have chosen these to be my challenges for 2009....
1. Have faith in myself. Believe (and know) that "I can".
2. Be more adventurous. In all aspects of life. Second chances should not be wasted.
3. Be a better listener. Try to improve focus and concentration and be less easily distracted. Try to find ways to improve my memory, and to retain information I am told, or read, etc.
4. Be a better wife. I am not a bad one, don't get me wrong - but I really have never opened myself up to receive all the gifts that a loving relationship brings. I was terrified of it for reasons too complicated to go into. But that chapter too has been closed, along with so many others, so I feel ready, and brave enough and strong enough to open myself up to receive. It's already happening, in small leaps and bounds,and it will just get better.
5. Improve physical fitness and look after my neck, and not let this condition slow me down.
Phew. Looks like I am going to have a busy year!!!
It's exciting. Like graduating school. Another new beginning.
2008 has been significantly one of the best years of my life, and I am grateful for so much.
Thanks for reading this, if you got through to the end of my long, rambling reflection!!
Wishing everyone all the changes they want to happen, to come together for you too in 2009.
I hope you all coped well today, and if you did struggle, or lapse, remember - it's OK, and today is a new day. It's a realy challenge - so hearty well dones to those who were successful!!
This time, last year, I was 2 weeks away from starting LL. This year, now, I am one week away from completing RTM.
This STILL makes my head whirl - that I have done it......me....I have actually done it. In the space of a year. It is truly amazing, but still mind boggling.
I am really "getting it" loud and clear lately, that there is truly a "head needs to catch up with the body" phase at the end of this road, and I reckon that is what 2009 is going to be about.
As I was alone this morning, I went for a lovely long walk at about 8am. I walked 3.5 miles, which I have not done for quite some time!!! Another blessing.
It was cold, and grey and slighlty misty. Perfect. And walking through town was lovely, though it did have an apocolyptic feel about it. There was not a soul to be seen- not a car, not a light in a window. The town never looked so good.
After walking a ways down the beach I stopped at a rocky defense thing, and rolled a fag and took some photos. I'll post some later maybe. (will be a nice change not to see loo walls, ay!!?
)It was jut so bloomin tranquil - the sky was beautiful, birds were out. It was a fantastic way to start Christmas day.
I had a couple of thoughts, which is one reason I really do love walking, as much as I hate exercise - if that makes sense. lol ANyway - I realised, and accept (which is a big big step for me) that if there is ANY hope of my maintaining this loss, then I MUST make exercise a permanent part of my life. End of. There is no negotiating - this point is finite. It just won;t work without it.....so, after years and years of a power struggle with my knowing I need to exercise and denying it equally as strong - I lay my sword down. I will make it a normal and habitual part of my new life. One step at a time.
I also thought about New Years resolutions, and how I stopped making them about 20 years ago because I got so bored year after year of saying "I will lose weight this year". So I finally made one last one: To not make any more NY resolutions.
But, I intend to break that silence....because I think resolutions are good, if they make you strive to be a better person, in whatever way.
So, I have chosen these to be my challenges for 2009....
1. Have faith in myself. Believe (and know) that "I can".
2. Be more adventurous. In all aspects of life. Second chances should not be wasted.
3. Be a better listener. Try to improve focus and concentration and be less easily distracted. Try to find ways to improve my memory, and to retain information I am told, or read, etc.
4. Be a better wife. I am not a bad one, don't get me wrong - but I really have never opened myself up to receive all the gifts that a loving relationship brings. I was terrified of it for reasons too complicated to go into. But that chapter too has been closed, along with so many others, so I feel ready, and brave enough and strong enough to open myself up to receive. It's already happening, in small leaps and bounds,and it will just get better.
5. Improve physical fitness and look after my neck, and not let this condition slow me down.
Phew. Looks like I am going to have a busy year!!!
It's exciting. Like graduating school. Another new beginning.
2008 has been significantly one of the best years of my life, and I am grateful for so much.
Thanks for reading this, if you got through to the end of my long, rambling reflection!!
Wishing everyone all the changes they want to happen, to come together for you too in 2009.
