Anyone got a 14 year old boy???

Discussion in 'Cambridge Weight Plan' started by Percy greenfingers, 15 November 2008 Social URL.

  1. Percy greenfingers

    Percy greenfingers Silver Member

    Mine has changed drastically in the last 2 weeks. Won't speak to me, won't tell me where he's going, won't even smile!! Any ideas? I am soooo used to having a kind considerate son at my side and I never went through this with his older brother who's now 21. Need some help, advise, and general support please...OH is no good he went to the pub at midday and has been in bed (actually made it upstairs tonight) since 7pm.
    Sorry, that's probably the issue, but why do I get allllllll the sh*t?
    Sorry guys, love you all, advice is usu:cry::cry::cry::wave_cry::wave_cry::break_diet:ally great here so please help....thanks
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  3. charliegirl

    charliegirl Silver Member

    My son is now 28 he changed at 14 also but forgot to grow out of it lol...honestly he is just growing into a man I think life is tough when your a 14 year old boy. Dont worry give him space and be there for him...xx
  4. Percy greenfingers

    Percy greenfingers Silver Member

    Thanks Charliegirl, I am trying, but after my angel of a 21 year old, this one is tuff....Will try and be a bit more laid back, problem being I'm paranoid, my younger brother turned to drugs overnight and I can't bear the though....sure it'll be alright in the end, just panicking. Thanks
  5. charliegirl

    charliegirl Silver Member

    Just remember he is an individual and dont let him hear you compare him to his brother, my mum always compared me to my middle sister and it made me resent her when it was not her fault.....good luck its a tough age to be....xx
  6. Percy greenfingers

    Percy greenfingers Silver Member

    Thanks charliegirl, it's hard to remember when your 41 all that time ago. going up to bed now, but looking forward to more comments,.....goodnight ND THANK YOU
  7. Mrs Depp

    Mrs Depp Gold Member

    My son has just turned 15 so I know what you're going through. He turned sullen round about the age of 11/12 and I put that down to the fact that my O/H and I separated. He hasn't been able to get along with his dad since then and turning into a teenager seemed to make it worse. :rolleyes: He didn't want to talk or spend time with us, just sat in his room on his PS2 listening to music. :sigh:

    There is light at the end of the tunnel though, a few months ago he started going out with a lovely girl and I've noticed a complete turnaround in him! He's much more like the son he used to be, talkative, even smiles now lol! Don't get me wrong, he can still be a narky so-and-so but that doesn't happen so much now.

    I think puberty has been hard for him (I've been told that boys seem to find those changes hard to accept lol!) But now he's shot up about 12 inches and lost loads of weight he's gained confidence.

    Maybe once your son understands that you're worried about him and that you're not being a nagging parent he'll be able to open up to you a bit more? :)
  8. Percy greenfingers

    Percy greenfingers Silver Member

    Thanks Mrs Depp, we've had a long talk about it this morning and we're both going to try a bit harder. Glad there's light at the end of the tunnel, looking forward to seeing it.....Take care
  9. nimi

    nimi Full Member

    hi i have a 14 year old girl shes the same mood swings up and down and blames everything on pmt now get this shes got sad seasonal affective disorder what next lol anthing to blame on i think its like the kids that turn 4years old there a nightmare but hopefully they grow out of it!!!! makes me laugh the excuses they come out with wish we could use them as well
  10. IMac

    IMac Gold Member

    The plus is they all grow up eventually. I'm on teenager number 4 and she's 14 going on 50. They are all different and individual and expect to be treated so but as I constantly point out I am the same just older and less tolerant !! My only suggestion would be to listen when he wants to talk regardless of day or night.
    Final comment is from Mark Twain...."when I was 18 I thought what a fool my father was, when I was 21 I realised how much he had learnt in the past 3 years"
    Says it all really
    with love x
  11. Sarah_V

    Sarah_V Silver Member

    Love the quote IMac, brilliant.
    I fostered for 5 years and the best advice I ever recieved was from one of the trainers, we were dealing with problem children but I used it with my unbearable teenage daughter too... and it is.. 'choose your battles' my daughter loved confronting me, arguing until she got her own way etc. I just stuck by the boundries i set and 'chose my battles'

    She's 21 now and can still be difficult sometimes but has apologised for her mad teenage years and we are best of friends :)
  12. Percy greenfingers

    Percy greenfingers Silver Member

    Thanks guys, it's being a lot easier today....long may it last!
  13. andju

    andju I lurve lurve lurve bars

    hhmmmmm...I have a 14 year old boy at the mo hes great but............I have an 18 year old girl....give me a moody boy any day!!teenage girls are the worst..just thank your lucky stars you have a boy!!!Heehee!!
  14. Glyni

    Glyni Full Member


    I have a 15 year old daughter and she can be a nightmare at times. Its all part of growing up they are trying to adjust to the changes in their bodies and the school work is pileing up and exam pressure mounting.
    All we can do as parents is be there to try and ease the burden.

    Couldn't believe it yesterday when I went into my daughters room to empty the bin and she said thank you instead of the usual what are you doing in here.

    Its a thankless job we're doing and we all assume the worst with every change in mood. We can only do our best and try to steer them down the right path.

    Goodluck just be there for him explain his fathers problems are his fathers problems and nothing to do with him kids tend to blame themselves.

  15. charliegirl

    charliegirl Silver Member

    Love the quote made me smile...xx
  16. Percy greenfingers

    Percy greenfingers Silver Member

    Thanks you lot. All I can do is try and be a bit more patient and understanding....wish me luck!
  17. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

    Not sure if I'm speaking out of turn here ... and if I am I apologise. Is your OH's drinking a real problem for all the family?? I speak from experience as my ex is an alcoholic - the reason for the break up - and my 3 children all went through problems coming to terms with it/him. Al anon (the family part of AA) do a fantastic support group for family members and friends of alcoholics and I found lots of strength and support from going. IF this is the real problem, maybe intially you would get some benefit from going along, and maybe your son would get help there too.

    As I said I hope I have not just read one line and made a mountain out of a molehill ..... ex's of alcoholics tend to pick up on drinking problems within a family.

    Hope whatever the problem is with your son, it soon resolves itself. Another thought - have you contacted the school to see if he is in any kind of trouble there? or if he has changed at school as well.
    Sarah_V likes this.
  18. Percy greenfingers

    Percy greenfingers Silver Member

    Thanks. He has agreed to get help, and yesterday was the first time in a long time he went to bed sober. Hopefully we've got through to him now and after speaking to our son together have all agreed to help him. It's on a time limit though. Can't keep on like this.

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