elephantbum
Member
Hiya Everyone,
I am new to the CD and have just completed week 1. I want to keep a diary to motivate myself and remind me in the future of the hard work I've done. I hope you'll read along and comment so we can make friends and support each other :0).
The boring background
I am 30 years old, 5 feet 10, 19 stone 5, I wear a size 22 and my BMI is a terrifying 38.8. I work full time in health care and my job requires some nights and on calls. I live with my caneatwhathelikesandnevergainapound boyfriend. No kids ....yet.
I have always been "curvy" (fat) usually weighing between 14 and 16 stone depending on where I am in the binge/diet cycle. Over the last four years I have gained five stone and the result is I am now the biggest I have ever been. I am really fat/obese/"the big girl" and it sucks. I work with patients who as part of their illness often have weight problems which they need to address. I feel a massive hypocrite when I advise them and am regularly embarrassed in meetings when a patient is referred to as "HUUUGE" or "MMMAASSSIVE" and I know I weigh almost what they do.
Last year I did Weight Watchers and Slimming World and lost a few pounds before getting bored and gaining them back. I'm not sure why I loose weight so slowly always just 1lb or at best 1.5 a week and when you have a lot to loose it just feels like your getting nowhere. Actually that there is a lie, I loose weight slowly because I trick myself in to thinking I have been better than I have been and I pick at little bits so I get to the end of the week and think I've been really good when the truth is I've been really good except for the chocolate on Monday, cake on Tuesday, etc etc etc.
I have turned to the Cambridge diet because I am desperate. The lure of loosing an initial 10lbs and then 5 a week after is what hooked me. I think I could lose 1.5 stones in the first month and maybe 2 stone in 6 weeks. I go on holiday in ten weeks and would like to start trying for a baby soon after so I intend to SS for a maximum of 8 weeks but I am taking it one day at a time.
The diet
So I was lying in bed last Friday morning moping about my lardiness when I decided to feck it and just call a Cambridge Councillor. I found the friendliest looking lady on their website and text her. She responded within a few minutes and agreed to see me later the same day before she went on holiday. Nicky, the lovely CDC weighed & measured me. She gave me a book, a magazine and a shaker and I picked out products to last me twelve days till I could see her again. I decided I would start on Sunday and Nicky warned me to start reducing carbs now to make the first days easier. I of course spent the following 36 hours eating everything I knew I would be missing culminating in the carb feast that is a Chinese take away.
Day 1 - Sunday 17/01/16
Up at 5 for work and its been snowing, the fear of driving distracts me from the diet, bit of a belly ache from all that Chinese last night so I don't immediately feel all that hungry. I start the day with a slice of lemon and hot water (Nicky says one slice of lemon a day will not affect me so I have one sometimes and I reuse it!). In to work and I have a banana tetra for breakfast - not bad. It makes me thirsty and I guzzle more water.
I finish work around 2 and head off to meet friends at the pub. Luckily no one eats but I feel super sorry for myself as I can't even have the dieters staple of a diet coke. One of my lovely friends gets me a cup of hot water from the bar and I use my shaker to make up a chicken and mushroom soup which I have with a glass of water - its okay and its nice to have something hot in my tummy. I don't stay at the pub long as I feel sad thinking about all the socialising I will miss out on over the coming weeks, I wonder if it will really be worth it.
Back at home I have a key lime pie shake and gag on it - hand blender on shopping list for tomorrow - the shake is bad but the lumps make me sick.
I take the most unflattering photos I can of myself and complete my measurements and put them all on the CWP &ME app I downloaded. Feel very sorry for myself and that combined with the early start sends me to bed early with a butterscotch shake for company - its okay but doesn't taste of much except vitamins.
Water total for the day is 3L and I am up and down to the loo all night. Have a little self pity cry - this is what life has become.
Day 2 - Monday 18/01/16
Up early for work again, no headache or dizzyness. Feel thirsty so start the day with a couple of mugs of hot water and lemon. Banana tetra for breakfast when I get to work and loads and loads of water.
A colleague spots what I am doing and tells me she lost loads on CD a few years ago this perks me up until she asks me to buy her some keylime shakes next time I go as they are her favourite - I think if they are the best ones I am in big trouble.
Vegetable soup for lunch this surprises me as it is the best product I have had.
I leave work a little early as I had a busy weekend on call and when I get home I make a spag bol packet. I make it exactly to the instructions on the packet but urrrghh its too watery and I have to force it down. So far I think all the products taste like chewing a vitamin pill.
Pop out to buy a hand blender and then come home and mix up a chocolate orange shake and warm it up. It is vile. I can't force it down and at least half goes down the sink. Even the boyfriend feels sorry for me. In bed and asleep before 8.
Today's 3L of water keeps me up and down to the loo all night.
Day 3 - Tuesday 19/01/16
A slightly later start today as I am not travelling so far in to work. I blend up a mint choc chip shake with ice and take it in the car for the journey - Hoooray its delicious. It actually tastes nice. I hope I brought more than one of these.My head does feel a little foggy and I have a funny taste in my mouth, I find myself drinking more and more water which takes the taste away and improves my head. I arrive at work absolutely hopping for the loo. Flippin heck I am glad it wasn't any further. Sit through meeting needing to wee again at least it distracts me from my empty belly.
I am supposed to have the afternoon off but back to back meetings mean I don't leave work until 2pm. I head straight to Asda as the boyfriend works long hours and has been losing weight (oh the irony!) so I've promised to buy some high protein high fat snacks for him (b*st*rd). I pop in to wish a mate happy birthday on my way home and she is so pleased to see me that they crack out the birthday cake. I accept a cup of tea with a splash semi skimmed milk but resist cake. I think I dribble a bit whilst they eat but they are polite and no one mentions it!
I rush home starving and have my second packet of the day which is a chicken and mushroom soup. I manage to cook dinner for the boyfriend and even bake some bread and don't feel too bad. When he gets home I make up a chicken tikka pack and we sit down to eat together. Bluuuurgh WTF is this? Like chewing a creamy vitamin pill. Minging. Stodgy. Awful. I can't eat it. I cry. The boyfriend asks if I think its worth it. I stomp off to bed with a banana tetra and leave him scoffing the roast chicken I made.
Another 3 L of water down today and again I wee all night long.
Day 4 - Wednesday 20/01/16
So back to a 5am start and I've decided pride is over rated so I am taking my hand blender to work with me. Its a busy day and I am on the go from 7am to 7pm without much time to feel sorry for myself. Breakfast is the fruit smoothie, its okay but a little bit too sweet still it makes a nice change. Soup for lunch - vegetable soup is my surprise favorite pack.
Then I make a huge mistake. I drink my banana tetra on the way home from work and get stuck in traffic on the M1. I don't know how I don't wee myself. 5 minutes longer and I would have. Awful. Get home and run a hot hot bath as I've got cold in my bones and have done all day. I feel miserable, cold, hungry and foggy headed.
I make the macaroni cheese pack and take it in the bath with 1L of water. I'm not loving the mac n cheese as it formed a skin on top while it cooled down and looks unappetising, it also has the vitamin after taste. I chase it down with a load of water and you guessed it - another early night!
More than 3.5L of water drunk today.
Day 5 - Thursday 21/01/16
Up and out at 5 again, last day of the work week for me. My head feels clearer and I'm not all that hungry. Banana tetra for breakfast at work.
Lunch time is when the do-gooders start on me, they want me to come to the canteen for lunch so the previously known only to a select few diet comes out to the masses. Everybody knows somebody who has had gall stones/kidney stones/lost their hair/died etc etc etc as a result of a VLCD. One colleague suggests low GI and yoga and another suggests SW .They even ask if I have tried just eating healthy. I keep all my answers polite which is an achievement. Its not healthy they say - neither is a BMI of 38.5 I think. I feel very sorry for myself as they go off for lunch and I almost crack under the strain of the "you will put it all straight back on comments". Luckily its vegetable soup and water time and I feel warm and full after it.
One of my colleagues tells me she lost 30kgs on CD and kept it off. She tells me she cheated loads while doing it. Then she tells me to be careful because she ended up with an inflamed pancreas which they thought was cancer but is not and she has always thought CD caused it. Feckin 'ell lads. My head is spinning and I am considering the merits of Slimming World. I feel angry at all these opinions - I never asked for them!!!
I am home early and run another bath. I try again with the spag bol and with a little less water I almost enjoy it. Maybe my taste buds are adjusting to the vitamin after taste. I make a vanilla shake before bed - its okay but I don't enjoy it. I have another early night which I spend weeing because of the 3L of water.
Day 6 Friday 22/01/16
Hoooray for a day off and actually I feel okay. No headache. Not hungry. Hmmmm yeah I feel okay. I lie in bed and watch both episodes of this weeks Silent Witness before getting up for a banana tetra breakfast. I decide I feel a bit thinner and try on some smaller clothes. Feckin 'ell a pair of size 20 work trousers fit me if I lie down and wiggle to get the zip done up. I dance around the room for a while ignoring the fact the tight trousers make my belly spill out over the top in the most disturbing way. I decide these will be my inspiration trousers and take photos for the CWP&ME app and hang them at the front of the wardrobe.
Eventually I get dressed in some stretchy size 20 jeggins spend at least 15 minutes examining the every so slightly flatter nature of my top tummy. I try to weigh myself but given the wonky bathroom floor I realise that I can loose a stone just by moving the scales two inches to the left and I give up on getting a meaningful result.
I spend the day with my sister and we do not a lot, shes on SW and has egg and beans on toast for lunch. It doesn't bother me much at all. Back at home I make the mac n cheese for dinner and like the other pasta packet it is better the second time round.
I have a chocolate shake before bed, I have been putting this off as I don't like Slim Fast chocolate shakes so expected it to be horrid. Bloody lovely it tastes like a mars milk shake. I lick the glass clean. The boyfriend comes home and is relieved to see me a)out of bed and b)looking fairly happy. He tells me he loves me just the way I am and that if the diet is too hard I should forget it (feeder!!). I tell him I want to stick with it and I mean it. Almost 3L of water drunk today.
Day 7 Saturday 23/01/16
The Boyfriend and I are both off today and spend a lazy morning doing chores. Given its a Saturday I go mad and try the porridge - its okay - not bad at all. I only have the plain one and would like to try the flavored ones. I get through about 1.5 L of hot water with lemon and enjoy it then have a vegetable soup for lunch.
We decide to go and look at bathrooms in the afternoon and I have to get him to stop at both Sainsburys and Pizza Hut in the space of about an hour so that I can wee. I ease up off the water so we can look around the shops. My back is aching a funny dull ache and my over active imagination wonders if my kidneys are okay I imagine a scenario where I have to stop the plan for medical reasons and feel sad so as much as I am moaning I know I actually want to do this!
Later we go home and he cooks himself some fish. I sit at the table while he cooks and don't feel bothered by it at all. I try a chicken tikka pack for the second time but it is still rank and goes in the bin again. I blend up a key lime shake and I still don't like that either. I drink it by alternating a mouth full of shake with a mouth full of water.We watch a silly comedy and I feel pretty content given that if this were a normal Saturday we would be doing something food related! I only manage about 2.25L of water today. I have the bladder of a mouse and am really struggling with this constant weeing thing , I hope it improves!
And that is it the end of week one, normally I would get weighed now but I am having a longer week one as Nicky is away until Thursday. I am going to try and post every day from now on. I am looking forward to reading all your diary's and making some CD friends.
EB xxx
I am new to the CD and have just completed week 1. I want to keep a diary to motivate myself and remind me in the future of the hard work I've done. I hope you'll read along and comment so we can make friends and support each other :0).
The boring background
I am 30 years old, 5 feet 10, 19 stone 5, I wear a size 22 and my BMI is a terrifying 38.8. I work full time in health care and my job requires some nights and on calls. I live with my caneatwhathelikesandnevergainapound boyfriend. No kids ....yet.
I have always been "curvy" (fat) usually weighing between 14 and 16 stone depending on where I am in the binge/diet cycle. Over the last four years I have gained five stone and the result is I am now the biggest I have ever been. I am really fat/obese/"the big girl" and it sucks. I work with patients who as part of their illness often have weight problems which they need to address. I feel a massive hypocrite when I advise them and am regularly embarrassed in meetings when a patient is referred to as "HUUUGE" or "MMMAASSSIVE" and I know I weigh almost what they do.
Last year I did Weight Watchers and Slimming World and lost a few pounds before getting bored and gaining them back. I'm not sure why I loose weight so slowly always just 1lb or at best 1.5 a week and when you have a lot to loose it just feels like your getting nowhere. Actually that there is a lie, I loose weight slowly because I trick myself in to thinking I have been better than I have been and I pick at little bits so I get to the end of the week and think I've been really good when the truth is I've been really good except for the chocolate on Monday, cake on Tuesday, etc etc etc.
I have turned to the Cambridge diet because I am desperate. The lure of loosing an initial 10lbs and then 5 a week after is what hooked me. I think I could lose 1.5 stones in the first month and maybe 2 stone in 6 weeks. I go on holiday in ten weeks and would like to start trying for a baby soon after so I intend to SS for a maximum of 8 weeks but I am taking it one day at a time.
The diet
So I was lying in bed last Friday morning moping about my lardiness when I decided to feck it and just call a Cambridge Councillor. I found the friendliest looking lady on their website and text her. She responded within a few minutes and agreed to see me later the same day before she went on holiday. Nicky, the lovely CDC weighed & measured me. She gave me a book, a magazine and a shaker and I picked out products to last me twelve days till I could see her again. I decided I would start on Sunday and Nicky warned me to start reducing carbs now to make the first days easier. I of course spent the following 36 hours eating everything I knew I would be missing culminating in the carb feast that is a Chinese take away.
Day 1 - Sunday 17/01/16
Up at 5 for work and its been snowing, the fear of driving distracts me from the diet, bit of a belly ache from all that Chinese last night so I don't immediately feel all that hungry. I start the day with a slice of lemon and hot water (Nicky says one slice of lemon a day will not affect me so I have one sometimes and I reuse it!). In to work and I have a banana tetra for breakfast - not bad. It makes me thirsty and I guzzle more water.
I finish work around 2 and head off to meet friends at the pub. Luckily no one eats but I feel super sorry for myself as I can't even have the dieters staple of a diet coke. One of my lovely friends gets me a cup of hot water from the bar and I use my shaker to make up a chicken and mushroom soup which I have with a glass of water - its okay and its nice to have something hot in my tummy. I don't stay at the pub long as I feel sad thinking about all the socialising I will miss out on over the coming weeks, I wonder if it will really be worth it.
Back at home I have a key lime pie shake and gag on it - hand blender on shopping list for tomorrow - the shake is bad but the lumps make me sick.
I take the most unflattering photos I can of myself and complete my measurements and put them all on the CWP &ME app I downloaded. Feel very sorry for myself and that combined with the early start sends me to bed early with a butterscotch shake for company - its okay but doesn't taste of much except vitamins.
Water total for the day is 3L and I am up and down to the loo all night. Have a little self pity cry - this is what life has become.
Day 2 - Monday 18/01/16
Up early for work again, no headache or dizzyness. Feel thirsty so start the day with a couple of mugs of hot water and lemon. Banana tetra for breakfast when I get to work and loads and loads of water.
A colleague spots what I am doing and tells me she lost loads on CD a few years ago this perks me up until she asks me to buy her some keylime shakes next time I go as they are her favourite - I think if they are the best ones I am in big trouble.
Vegetable soup for lunch this surprises me as it is the best product I have had.
I leave work a little early as I had a busy weekend on call and when I get home I make a spag bol packet. I make it exactly to the instructions on the packet but urrrghh its too watery and I have to force it down. So far I think all the products taste like chewing a vitamin pill.
Pop out to buy a hand blender and then come home and mix up a chocolate orange shake and warm it up. It is vile. I can't force it down and at least half goes down the sink. Even the boyfriend feels sorry for me. In bed and asleep before 8.
Today's 3L of water keeps me up and down to the loo all night.
Day 3 - Tuesday 19/01/16
A slightly later start today as I am not travelling so far in to work. I blend up a mint choc chip shake with ice and take it in the car for the journey - Hoooray its delicious. It actually tastes nice. I hope I brought more than one of these.My head does feel a little foggy and I have a funny taste in my mouth, I find myself drinking more and more water which takes the taste away and improves my head. I arrive at work absolutely hopping for the loo. Flippin heck I am glad it wasn't any further. Sit through meeting needing to wee again at least it distracts me from my empty belly.
I am supposed to have the afternoon off but back to back meetings mean I don't leave work until 2pm. I head straight to Asda as the boyfriend works long hours and has been losing weight (oh the irony!) so I've promised to buy some high protein high fat snacks for him (b*st*rd). I pop in to wish a mate happy birthday on my way home and she is so pleased to see me that they crack out the birthday cake. I accept a cup of tea with a splash semi skimmed milk but resist cake. I think I dribble a bit whilst they eat but they are polite and no one mentions it!
I rush home starving and have my second packet of the day which is a chicken and mushroom soup. I manage to cook dinner for the boyfriend and even bake some bread and don't feel too bad. When he gets home I make up a chicken tikka pack and we sit down to eat together. Bluuuurgh WTF is this? Like chewing a creamy vitamin pill. Minging. Stodgy. Awful. I can't eat it. I cry. The boyfriend asks if I think its worth it. I stomp off to bed with a banana tetra and leave him scoffing the roast chicken I made.
Another 3 L of water down today and again I wee all night long.
Day 4 - Wednesday 20/01/16
So back to a 5am start and I've decided pride is over rated so I am taking my hand blender to work with me. Its a busy day and I am on the go from 7am to 7pm without much time to feel sorry for myself. Breakfast is the fruit smoothie, its okay but a little bit too sweet still it makes a nice change. Soup for lunch - vegetable soup is my surprise favorite pack.
Then I make a huge mistake. I drink my banana tetra on the way home from work and get stuck in traffic on the M1. I don't know how I don't wee myself. 5 minutes longer and I would have. Awful. Get home and run a hot hot bath as I've got cold in my bones and have done all day. I feel miserable, cold, hungry and foggy headed.
I make the macaroni cheese pack and take it in the bath with 1L of water. I'm not loving the mac n cheese as it formed a skin on top while it cooled down and looks unappetising, it also has the vitamin after taste. I chase it down with a load of water and you guessed it - another early night!
More than 3.5L of water drunk today.
Day 5 - Thursday 21/01/16
Up and out at 5 again, last day of the work week for me. My head feels clearer and I'm not all that hungry. Banana tetra for breakfast at work.
Lunch time is when the do-gooders start on me, they want me to come to the canteen for lunch so the previously known only to a select few diet comes out to the masses. Everybody knows somebody who has had gall stones/kidney stones/lost their hair/died etc etc etc as a result of a VLCD. One colleague suggests low GI and yoga and another suggests SW .They even ask if I have tried just eating healthy. I keep all my answers polite which is an achievement. Its not healthy they say - neither is a BMI of 38.5 I think. I feel very sorry for myself as they go off for lunch and I almost crack under the strain of the "you will put it all straight back on comments". Luckily its vegetable soup and water time and I feel warm and full after it.
One of my colleagues tells me she lost 30kgs on CD and kept it off. She tells me she cheated loads while doing it. Then she tells me to be careful because she ended up with an inflamed pancreas which they thought was cancer but is not and she has always thought CD caused it. Feckin 'ell lads. My head is spinning and I am considering the merits of Slimming World. I feel angry at all these opinions - I never asked for them!!!
I am home early and run another bath. I try again with the spag bol and with a little less water I almost enjoy it. Maybe my taste buds are adjusting to the vitamin after taste. I make a vanilla shake before bed - its okay but I don't enjoy it. I have another early night which I spend weeing because of the 3L of water.
Day 6 Friday 22/01/16
Hoooray for a day off and actually I feel okay. No headache. Not hungry. Hmmmm yeah I feel okay. I lie in bed and watch both episodes of this weeks Silent Witness before getting up for a banana tetra breakfast. I decide I feel a bit thinner and try on some smaller clothes. Feckin 'ell a pair of size 20 work trousers fit me if I lie down and wiggle to get the zip done up. I dance around the room for a while ignoring the fact the tight trousers make my belly spill out over the top in the most disturbing way. I decide these will be my inspiration trousers and take photos for the CWP&ME app and hang them at the front of the wardrobe.
Eventually I get dressed in some stretchy size 20 jeggins spend at least 15 minutes examining the every so slightly flatter nature of my top tummy. I try to weigh myself but given the wonky bathroom floor I realise that I can loose a stone just by moving the scales two inches to the left and I give up on getting a meaningful result.
I spend the day with my sister and we do not a lot, shes on SW and has egg and beans on toast for lunch. It doesn't bother me much at all. Back at home I make the mac n cheese for dinner and like the other pasta packet it is better the second time round.
I have a chocolate shake before bed, I have been putting this off as I don't like Slim Fast chocolate shakes so expected it to be horrid. Bloody lovely it tastes like a mars milk shake. I lick the glass clean. The boyfriend comes home and is relieved to see me a)out of bed and b)looking fairly happy. He tells me he loves me just the way I am and that if the diet is too hard I should forget it (feeder!!). I tell him I want to stick with it and I mean it. Almost 3L of water drunk today.
Day 7 Saturday 23/01/16
The Boyfriend and I are both off today and spend a lazy morning doing chores. Given its a Saturday I go mad and try the porridge - its okay - not bad at all. I only have the plain one and would like to try the flavored ones. I get through about 1.5 L of hot water with lemon and enjoy it then have a vegetable soup for lunch.
We decide to go and look at bathrooms in the afternoon and I have to get him to stop at both Sainsburys and Pizza Hut in the space of about an hour so that I can wee. I ease up off the water so we can look around the shops. My back is aching a funny dull ache and my over active imagination wonders if my kidneys are okay I imagine a scenario where I have to stop the plan for medical reasons and feel sad so as much as I am moaning I know I actually want to do this!
Later we go home and he cooks himself some fish. I sit at the table while he cooks and don't feel bothered by it at all. I try a chicken tikka pack for the second time but it is still rank and goes in the bin again. I blend up a key lime shake and I still don't like that either. I drink it by alternating a mouth full of shake with a mouth full of water.We watch a silly comedy and I feel pretty content given that if this were a normal Saturday we would be doing something food related! I only manage about 2.25L of water today. I have the bladder of a mouse and am really struggling with this constant weeing thing , I hope it improves!
And that is it the end of week one, normally I would get weighed now but I am having a longer week one as Nicky is away until Thursday. I am going to try and post every day from now on. I am looking forward to reading all your diary's and making some CD friends.
EB xxx
Hi Elsa and enlightenme. I so need people to talk to, I can't keep going to bed at 8!
You should be well proud of yourself !
