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arhhh help !!!!!

hi every1 well im not doin to good on refeed ive been refeeding for 3wks now well not entirley true i refeed propley for 2wks n been really trying to eat heathly but finding it really hard too many barbacues n 2 much jack daniels and have put on 4lb and 2lb while on refeed so in total nearly half a stone :eek:arhhhhhhh help !!!carnt seem to stop meself:mad: so angry no self control i know !!!really thought id controlled my demons dont want to go back on lt really need to pull myself 2gether needed to write this as if been avoiding writing on here through guilt :(!!xx
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maintaining since June'09
S: 15st9.5lb C: 10st13.6lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 24.8 Loss: 4st9.9lb(30.02%)
Hi Lou!
Sorry there doesn't seem to have been anyone around to help :( ... Blame the sunshine and the holiday season! I've been in bed all day after a night shift myself.

Really sorry to hear you're struggling ... it's not easy is it? I was fine whilst on refeed but since making my own free choices I'm struggling myself.

You sound a bit panicked - which won't help. If you can try to take a step back from yourself, relax and make a plan. You're wise not to want to go back on it. That's not the best way to get in control - putting weight on then going back on it.

I know (coz I've been there - AM there!) that it can feel really disappointing to realise that after all we've been through on TFR and thinking that we've learned loads - when we come off it we find our food demons are still there. I think, in some ways that makes the struggle harder. We now have the awareness, hoped that meant we'd do things differently and now find it doesn't.
I believe that's because it's more difficult to UNlearn behaviour than to learn it in the first place. We have to be VERY conscious about it, it isn't automatic.

It's very hard - but something we have to do if we're to stop yo-yo-ing and take our lives back!!

Good luck honey and keep posting ... forget the guilt, we're all in the same boat xxx


Life is not a Rehersal!
S: 14st4lb C: 11st6lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 28.3 Loss: 2st12lb(20%)
Oh Loulou,,,sorry to hear about you struggling..I am only on Day 2 of refeed and it is all so new to me that I am finding it ok at the minute!!!!

What Jan has said is absolutely brilliant and hope it helps.

I re-red my refeed notes....not sure if you got any, but this really hit home to me...might help you too and to make you realise that this happens!

What is harder to deal with is the fact that you are still a fat person, but only you know it. The world sees you as a thin person. When you were actually fat, people could see part of your problem. Now you are a normal weight and others may not understand your special needs. When you rejected their hospitality or other offerings of love or bribery through food, during your diet, the reasons were more easily explainable. Rejecting these offerings as a thin person is often misinterpreted as a rejection of the person making the offering. They may not take to it easily.

You have to learn to deal with these situations. A fat person is expected to do something about eating behaviour. You, however, no longer appear to be a fat person and, therefore, many people will go out of their way to try to break down your food control defences. Some of these people will be people you care about. How do you go about rejecting love and a friendship on a plate?

Hope this helps......it kinda hit home to me as it is always the "going out" that gets me into trouble...unfortunately, in our life, food is used for everything!!! But to us, with food issues, this becomes very stressful.

I think it is good you have come on and asked for help......apparently people who cotinue to seek advice etc.....are more able to maintain their weight...so you are one step closer.

Hope you are ok...Take care


Silver Member
S: 13st9lb C: 13st9lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 34.9 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
hi, really cant add to whats been said,need to take it all in myself,am 2 only on refeed last 2 days, but advice from scots & jan brill, it def hit home with me,
hope you r feeling better about yourself soon ;)
S: 14st5lb C: 10st11lb G: 11st5lb BMI: 27.6 Loss: 3st8lb(24.88%)
Hi Lou, it's so very hard to completely eradicate those bad eating habits that have been with us for years....in my case 38 years!!!! All I can tell you is that it helps me to stick to the same eating times, (10.30 a.m., 3.30 p.m., 8.00 p.m) also, I keep my food very simple for breakfasts either 2 boiled eggs with 1 wholemeal pitta or 50 grms Dorset High fibre cereal with berries and unsweetened low-fat yoghurt. An apple for a snack at 1.00 p.m. A tuna, salmon, mixed bean or chicken salad for lunch and a small-portioned dinner of anything in the evening. (my OH's mum been doing mostly caribbean cooking for the past 3 weeks!!) I've even had a Magnum lolly some evenings, or a few dry crackers or homemade popcorn if a snack is required. I haven't eaten anything except a few squares of 75% dark chocolate and know I must resist buying any other type of choc-bar or cakes or biscuits as one will lead me to a whole packet. The sacrifice is worth it, I am totally gob-smacked that I havent wavered, weight-wise so far.........I really won't be resting on my laurels 'cos Friday's WI could be different.....but so far....so good. I wish you all the best and hope you can find your way through it successfully

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