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Bad Day!

#1
Hi everyone hope you are all ok. I am currently going through a really hard time at the moment with a close family member who has stabbed in the back in ways you could never imagine. On top of that people seem to think that we are splitting up the family by not wanting anything to do with him anymore and we should forgive him. These are all people who have fallen out with other people for alot less but they all have to put their hypocritical two pence in now.

On top of that I just found out I didn't get a job that I really wanted and my dad is really ill.

Really felt like giving in today as all the stress made me want to eat but I actually had a breakthrough. For the first time I realised that if I gave in I would still have the same problems and still be fat and I would rather be slimmer and happier in myself while I attempt to sort my life out. Even went and got Mc Donalds for the kids as a treat and didn't even feel sorry for myself. I feel stronger now in a way.

Sorry for going on but just needed to post to make extra sure I don't weaken later on.
 
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#2
Shaz, I have in the past maybe been a bit harsh when I've told people that eating won't help solve their problems, they'll just feel like **** and the problems will still be there......but that's the god honest truth and I'm so glad that you realised it before you broke the diet.

I'm so sorry to hear about your problems, sometimes life's a *****.......
 
#3
. For the first time I realised that if I gave in I would still have the same problems and still be fat and I would rather be slimmer and happier in myself while I attempt to sort my life out.
That statement is so true thats the phsycology im using to give up the smokes,, ive never met a ciggie or chocolate bar that could make my problems go away they only add to them with the sense of guilt you have after having them..I had to put a friend out of my life a few years ago and it was hard because of family connections and the fact that i cared for her, but she was so destructive I just couldnt handle it anymore....i feel sad about it,,but i really think i am better off,,,i hope it all works out for you, hugs,,,
 
#4
The fact you never gave in says a great deal about your willpower Shaz.. You should be proud of yourself hun x x
 
#5
Thank you all so much I really appreaciate the support especially as I am going through a rough patch. I am so glad I thought of it and it is so true and how much worse would I felt tonight if I had given in and still had all the other problems to deal with. I really feel like it has sunk in. I made the kids roast chicken and mash tonight and that would normally kill me but i was not at all bothered.

I have actually found other ways to lift my mood that don't involve feelings of guilt later on. I have been listening to music that reminds me of happier times and looking at all the beautiful clothes I will soon be able to wear.

Sandra it's not harsh at all it makes perfect sense can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. The comfort is so short lived and doesn't get rid of the problems.

Trose you are so right about the guilt and it's just not worth it. The situation is difficult as it's my husbands brother and everyone thinks I am forcing him to break ties. My husband keeps telling me I am a good person and not to let anyone make me feel otherwise but it's hard sometimes when I am enemy no 1.

Su, thank you so much and now that i think back to what could have happened I am proud of myself just hope it pays off at my first weigh in tomorrow.

Thank you all again don't know what I would do without you x x
 
#6
I am sure your first weigh in will be fine.. Good luck with it hun, and let us know how you get on x x

I don't really know what to say regarding the family hun, but if you know you are right, and your husband is supporting you, then be strong and you will get through it hun... Your other option is to back down for all the wrong reasons (because it suits other people) but eventually you will become resentful about it.

You can't live your life for other people.. This is not a trial run-you only have 1 life, make the best of it x x x
 
#7
You are so right Su. I am always the one who never wants to upset anyone and will go along with anything and do anything for anyone even at my own exspense. I am not going to be that woman anymore. I have a right to be happy too and hubby is unbelievably supportive. They better watch out for the new me lol x
 

pudge

addicted to minimins!!
#8
Hey shaz good luck with your weigh in and well done on not giving in..that last comment you just posted is exactly how i am. I always have put others before me and looked after everyone and sorted everyone out...and just like you i even did it at my own expense sometimes..i never knew how destructive that can be...
This time i have actually said that im doing this for me and noone else and people can either like it or lump it because for once im actually thinking about myself and puting myself first.

sadly a few of the people i considered to be friends decided that they were going to support me and they have moved on with their lives,,i was so upset but now i am so happy and i feel that i can do it and live my own life!
we have the right to be happy.. and its great that you have the support of your hubby..keep at it,,you know you can do it..:) x
 
#9
You are so right Su. I am always the one who never wants to upset anyone and will go along with anything and do anything for anyone even at my own exspense. I am not going to be that woman anymore. I have a right to be happy too and hubby is unbelievably supportive. They better watch out for the new me lol x
YOU GO SHAZ!! Take no sh!t hun....

My motto:
When you meet someone, treat them how you want to be treated...
Once you get to know them better, treat them how they treat you!

People won't like the new assertive you initially, but they should get used to it x x x
 
#10
Listen you lot......

It is so apparent how little some of you value yourselves, well that has just got to change, you have got to be the most important person in each of your lives otherwise how are you going to look after others? Your families, your friends? I don't mean in a selfish, narcissistic sort way, I mean, put your health and your feelings at the top of your priorities........only then can you move on.

I'm now friends with a number of you on Facebook and one thing really strikes me about you......many of you are already stunningly beautiful but hiding behind a cloak of fat! Well stop it, put yourselves first, drop the fat and come out and shine!

You all deserve to be slim and healthy and you all deserve to be happy.....I'm not saying that you can't be one without the other cos it doesn't necessarily work that way. But being slim IS within your grasp and you have control over what you eat (unless you're being force-fed) so stop whinging and blaming someone else.......


Ok, lecture over!
 
#11
Shaz good luck on you WI....I know it's hard....a good start is focusing on yourself first....if you are happy then your kids and hubby are happy and everyone else giving you grief can take the high road. Take no negative vibes only positive ones!!! Take all good advise on board from this forum and cheer up!! Life could be worse!:)
 
#12
Thanks again everyone x

Sandra not valuing myself and being a pushover is something that started when I was young and I have only been fat for 5 years so it's not fat related lol but you are so right I need to be in a happy place for me first before I worry about anyone else.

Funky thanks for the support. It is hard to imagine things worse now as he has cheated us out of all our money and has dodgy people after him who have come knocking at our door. But I know it can always be worse and LT is really helping to keep me focussed right now.

Going to get weighed now so wish me luck please x
 
#13
Good luck hunni x x x
 
#14
Thanks again everyone x

Sandra not valuing myself and being a pushover is something that started when I was young and I have only been fat for 5 years so it's not fat related lol but you are so right I need to be in a happy place for me first before I worry about anyone else.

Funky thanks for the support. It is hard to imagine things worse now as he has cheated us out of all our money and has dodgy people after him who have come knocking at our door. But I know it can always be worse and LT is really helping to keep me focussed right now.

Going to get weighed now so wish me luck please x
Good luck with the weigh in Shaz, and remember ...because you're worth it! :D
 


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