Thank you for your replies. I'd like to say I feel better this morning, but the truth is, I don't.
He WON'T go away. THat is the problem. He is 52 or 53, and lives and sponges off my 92 year old mom. We are STILL waiting for him to get a real job. Honestly. He has lived the majority of his adult life sponging off others - blaming everything under the sun on why he can't get a job....for got sake....reallllllly? Still???? You think we are stupid???
I know, in my heart that he is either bi-polar, or simply stuck in depression. That is why for years, I have stuck by him when others have bailed. But - when help is available, if he is refusing to get it, cause he knows better - then I am sorry. You make your bed, lie in it.
I would cut off both my arms to be near my mom. He lives with her, and sneaks in and out the back door - never spends anytime with her, but is quite happy to eat her food and steal her money.
She spent Christmas day alone. He could not even bother to walk the 10 steps into her lounge to wish her Merry Xmas. Every year for xmas mom gives each of us kids, him,me and my other bro, a cheque to buy ourselves a gift.
In her old age, and confusion, she gave him ALL the money. And he said nothing Took it and ran...so to speak. But not far enough, he is still there. Bloody thief. I don't care that we did not get our checks - that is so not the point. THat he can just take and take and take, without giving ANYTHING back, it disgusts me.
THat is just one of so so many reasons I have run out of chord to hang onto. I just can;t do it anymore.
I wish he would go away. Far away. And never, ever come back.
It truly breaks my heart in two to feel this way. But there is no other way I can feel.
Ugh. I really don;t want to go into too much detail here obviously, but I just don;t know how to do this. I have written him about 12 letters over the past year and thrown them all away. I just don't knowhow to do it. My family has meant the world to me. But for him, I feel nothing now but disgust and dissappointment.
I guess I need to get used to the idea that he is there, and will be until my mom passes, for she will do nothing to kick him out - she is afraid if she does he will kill himself. The horrible HORRIBLE thing is, and I say this with tears in my eyes, I don;t care anymore. But that would destroy her. So, here we have just a really messy situation, and I feel so far from it all - I can;t even give him the hearty slap he so deserves.
Thanks again for your replies. I am sorry to bring it here - I just didn;t have anyone at the moment to talk too.
xx