Beelishy's VLCD Weight Loss Adventure!!

Morning,

Everything is going a bit pete tong and we're having some SERIOUS second thoughts about the move now. So needless to day Im not really focused on the diet right now. I wasnt too bad yesterday. I had a pancake pack, spag bol and salad for dinner but then I had a cornetto in the evening. but thats it.

220.6 today
 
One Cornetto won't break the (diet) bank well done for being 100% otherwise. sorry to hear you're having second thoughts about moving but I'm sure you''ll decide what is best :)

You should totes move to the left wing utopia that is Scotland! You're near there anyway although the weather is a bit grimmer than vegas :\

Sending you strength today hope the stress doesn't pull you down xxx
 
We actually both would love to move to scotland....edinburgh? YES PLEASE. But...the weather is so so grim. Seriously. lol. I dunno. Its huge and complicated and hugely complicated and I just wish i had a crystal ball or a legit psychic or something. Some kind of guide. My kids are so completely the most important thing to me (and to hubby) and I am so scared of screwing up...and screwing them up.

anyway...i wont bore you (and myself) with the gory details.

Suffice to say that its all just a big ol' fkn hot mess. A gut-wrenchingly ugly, hot mess.
 
Thanks for the vote of confidence, honey.

its pretty much the fact that we will be starting EVERYTHING from scratch. rebuilding our entire lives. and we dont drive (so would have to learn) and wont have a car, wont have jobs, wont have any credit (and mine was baaad when I left...my credit here is excellent though. but sadly, that doesnt matter) and no one will want to rent to us with no jobs....we wont have a car to be able to get around to look for a place, or to look for jobs/interview etc.....and if any private landlord is willing to rent to us, they will want minimum of 6 months rent up front. thennnn, my sister was telling me how much the security deposits are for things like the electricity and water and gas...to have them turned on..and if you dont have an income and/or have bad or no credit...these deposits are so much more than we had planned/expected. and we just realised that EVERY aspect of this move has to go EXACTLY according to plan - or we are pretty screwed. there is no public safety net in the states. there is no healthcare. there is no nothing. if you get screwed, youre just screwed. and there is the frequency of shootings. i recently liked a local vegas news channel on fb and there is at least one shooting story DAILY. it was never that bad when i left.

add to that the little things...like the fact that the girls will have to go to a childminder (on top of the already massive change of the move itself). and the fact that an american work week is 40hrs + and public holidays are minimal and mean nothing unless you are in certain jobs (schools, banks etc). ive worked christmas eve, christmas day and thanksgiving day before. and also. holiday/vacation time? 1 week per year is about average.

so. there goes our family time.

and all this..for what, exactly?

On the flip side..

the weather here...i hate it. the drink culture? i hate it. they girls have no family that give a **** about them here. at least there they would have my sister (who, adorably, has already started stocking up a toy box for them, in her spare room!!)...the school system terrifies me - the fact that 11 year olds go to HIGH SCHOOL...I just...i hate that. Kids grow up far too quickly here. childhood isnt really celebrated here in the same way. the UKIPers are getting votes!? wtf? ive been on the receiving end of racist remarks (yes...really) more than once here. And once, in my actual job - my boss blamed me "the yank...and you know how completely hopelessly stupid Americans are".....for an error SHE made. Ive been spat at and told to "**** off home" - so. yeah. The NHS is falling to bits. and i am deathly afraid of how the chavs seem to be taking over the country! despite my MILs best efforts my SIL ran with a lowly chavvy crowd and is now a proud chav. by choice. they werent raised that way!!

anyway. there are other bits and pieces...but this is the gist of it.

and i just have no idea what to do - i cant make sense of any of it.
 
Sorry you are going through all that. The thing to remember is you don't have to decide now once and for all. And Lou is right - children just need to know that they are loved and when you are with them you are fully with them. It's the options that are confusing right now. Plenty of people have to move and plenty have to stay and then it's just a matter of making the best of it. There isn't a right or a wrong answer so it's extra hard. Hope you get a bit of peace of mind soon.
 
This is the thing thought. We will only have a few months before we have to enter to USA once the visa is issued. Its only valid for a certain amount of time. So we sorta have this clock, ticking. And a decision has to be made.

And for the first time ever for me....having an option is truly so much more difficult, in a way.

Bleh.

On a happier note...im ordering my prints - the memory stick with the photos just arrived. They are gorgeous! So excited. :)
 
If you're going to be relatively poor then it's better to be poor in the UK than in the States (IMO) we are marginally ;) more socialist :D and I think that the UKIP nonsense will blow over

But your family are over there and that would be lovely for the girls...but if you stay here you wouldn't have to work 40 hours it's much more flexible and I assume more working rights too...but the weather here is shocking and the States is the ♫ Land of the Free.....!!! ♪

Pros and cons on both sides, you have to follow your heart (corny haha but true) you would make it work wherever you were :D
 
That's what would worry me for sure, could there be an in between option where you postpone for a few years while you save hard to have like six months of wages in the bank before you go so that you have time to organise when you arrive. Otherwise you'll have to take the first rubbish job you can as you'll be desperate and it might not offer you the benefits you need

Having said that, sometimes you just need to jump in with both feet and scrabble about until it's sorted!!
 
We do have (or will by the time we go) about 4-6 months of savings. But a lot more has to come out of our savings than we had originally planned. And its just..scary and got us thinking that if anything else ends up being more expensive than we planned for...or if we just cannot get anyone to rent to us...or we just cannot get anyone to finance us a car (cars are wayyy more expensive in the states. even the shitty ones) and/or we buy one privately and it turns out to be a right piece of sh!T banger - then we are completely screwed.

*sigh*
 
Yeah. so. I just cant see how we can ever decide to uproot our family and give up the stability that we have here. obviously...a lot will have to change if we stay here, too. he works for his brother currently and that is a horrible situation. his brother treats everyone like dirt. and its just not good and cannot continue. its gone on far far too long as it is. and our flat is far too small for us - we are a (growing!) family of 4 now. The girls are growing and growing and its just not enough. And we both HAVE to learn to drive and we have to have a car. These are the basic (major) changes that we will HAVE to make, if we decide to stay here. I would also very much like to move away from this region - but im not sure how that will work out as hubby is thinking of possibly starting his own shop (he would be awesome at it...he knows the flooring industry inside and out and is very honest, very friendly, very approachable) but that would mean using the reps he has met and worked with for years and years to help him get going and get important accounts with important carpet companies....and those reps, generally only work the north of the country. so we will have to dog around and see what the options would be, in that respect. but. yeah. basically. thats kinda the option im leaning towards....still a lot of change and a fair amount of risk involved but i know that my kids wont get shot randomly, they wont ever NOT be able to go to the doctor or hospital should they need to, we wont ever have to worry about providing a roof over their heads of SOME kind. Their basic needs will always be met here. No matter what. And I cannot guarantee that in the states. Not in our current situation. That may change a down the line at some point (or it may not...) but for now....

yeah...
 
We had a massive long talk last night, continuing on from the talk/discussion we had the previous day....and we've decided not to move over.

We are going to get driving and get a car. And then work on going into business for ourselves (ie, hubby opening his own flooring shop) and then moving house. And quite possibly to somewhere a bit more rural. Im excited but part of me is worried that we will just stay stuck in this rut we are in. I dont want to keep harping on it...or hubby to feeling like Im constantly nagging or constantly going on about one aspect of the changes we need/plan to make...but then I feel like if i dont...it will stagnate and wont happen.

So...we have to talk more tonight.

Im going to really really try to make the effort and try to get back on plan tomorrow. I have a cupboard FULL of packs...and plenty of fat that needs to be banished. So. Thats where I am. :)
 
Just be a relief to have made a decision of sorts :)

Hard not to nag isn't it haha they will always just plod along as it's easier than change, we have to be the driving force behind it, even if they think it's their idea ;)

How exciting though! and if you already had savings for states you can use that for driving or domething straight off!!

Eat your packs young lady ;) I can't talk, I only had one yesterday but I had the apple porridge as porridge this morning ooh it's so creamy!

Xxx
 
Glad you are moving towards a decision. Sounds sensible and something to work towards. I was going to say somewhere more rural. I guess hubby could be based anywhere in the north of England with his business so he gets to keep his contacts and you get to do all your lovely crafty things and join the WI!! But you'll definitely need a car. I grew up in a little village from 8-18. Loved it as a child as we could go off by ourselves on bikes and it was great. Bit tougher as a teenager as there was no Chelsea Girl (River Island for those born after 1970). But lots of great childhood memories.

But yes I know about being the one to keep momentum going. OH and I don't drive either and while we get by fine in London I think we'd love to go a bit farther and wider. I might book one of those intensive courses. I actually passed my test so I only really need a refresher but it's been a long time. Then I thought we could hire a car in Scotland and practise on the quiet roads!!

I had apple porridge too - really yummy.
 
Clin? Join the what? WI?

Yes...I felt (strangely) a huge sense of relief once we pretty much decided/agreed to call off the move. But now this worry is setting in. We have some money saved, yes. But are both keen to sorta..keep that as much in tact as we can. The focus from now onward will be paying down (and eventually off!) the debt we have and getting driving (and then a car). So we will still be skint all the time (lol) but will be making a dent in the debt. So yay. I guess. lol. I really want the driving to happen like..ASAP. I had said that at first..and then when we agreed to keep the savings as is and not dip into it, we thought maybe it would be best to wait on the driving until we had about £500 saved up to book lessons and get us going. But really. I kinda just wanna do it now. So thats what Im gonna talk to him about tonight.

Yes. Definitely back on packs tomorrow. I promise! :)

And now that we arent going for the interview, our london trip (18th and 19th) is just a leisurely trip. So we're gonna go to the transport musem (or sumsuch?!) in covent garden and the zoo. because hubby and i LOVE the london zoo. we've been once, before kids. and once with tabby and once with both girls. lol. so this will be another go. why not, eh? unless, of course, the weather is completely awful. We should probably try to think of a couple of kid-friendly, indoor options. Harder than you'd think, in London. Hmm.
 
Glad you feel better for having made a decision.

And good that you now have a nice leisurely family trip away to look forward to.

And even better you can now get in the zone with your diet plan :)
 
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