Beelishy's VLCD Weight Loss Adventure!!

Ugh. Its 4:22 am and Im up. With Zoe. *sob* Food was fine. Throat hurt more and more as the evening wore on. Went to bed at 9:45ish and obnoxious noisy neighbour blasted his TV and/or music until about 11:30 so i finally fell asleep around 11:45 Had very broken sleep (due to the excruciating pain in my throat. every. time. i. swallow. i. want. to. CRY) until 3am when Z became restless. So I was desp for the loo anyway so decided to just get up with Z at around 3:30 Then it was now. Exhausted. In absolute agony. And Z is awake (although showing some signs of tiredness again). Going to let her watch this last episode of peppa and then head to bed again.

That SUCKS! You poor thing.

My son is 18 in 2 months and you forget the torment of sleepless nights :-(

Hope your throat is better when you wake and that you did manage to get more sleep
 
Morning


M has just left. He is going to turn up at GPs office and queue to get an appointment for today, for me. its on his way to work and although it is very early (he usually leaves around 8.30), it gives him an excuse to go have a quiet sit in costa with a coffee before work.

i am in agony. and TOTMing.

checked scales this morning and am 250.2 - so the fact that im not strictly following plan (meaning...cobbled together a plan using part food and part packs to use up my stuff) is not hindering weight loss at this point, which is good.

had been tempted to feel sorry for myself and go off plan to have nice things but the idea of swallow ANYTHING is unappealing at best. so im not bothered. lol. pancakes are probably easiest anyway as theyre so mushy.

just had a shower, and although I am now clean, it made no difference to my throat. Im not sure why i had thought/hoped it would.

im pretty convinced i will be told there is nothing there. that is what happened the last time i had my throat looked at. it wasnt hurting as much as it is now...but it was still definitely not right. *shrug*
anyway. Z has had crappy sleep, T was awake at 6 (so not enough sleep either) and I havent slept enough. THIS WILL BE FUN! lol
 

I totally agree with that! My exercise is amazing (yes I know - sound like a right bragging tw@t!) but one binge day and I wipe out a week in the gym. Sunday (wtaf)!!:

image-3925078078.jpg
 
OH is always going on about exercise but I know it doesn't work for me. Ex colleague of mine who has always managed her weight well - actually well probably isn't the word as she is recovering from an eating disorder in her teens and is a bit obsessive. She is running the marathon on Sunday and thought she would lose weight but hasn't. I'm with Gary Taubes on this - exercise for health and cardiovascular fitness but don't expect the pounds to roll off as you will eat more. And we all know we can get injured and then what happens if our eating isn't under control.

The blog says really eloquently what all those of us who have lost some significant amount already know. Never bloody well done! :(
 
I also enquired about a twix this afternoon. As in, scoffed 3/4 of a 2 finger one. Im kinda annoyed with myself. That said...it wasnt a bingey shove it in when no one is looking thing (although M wasnt home and i wouldnt have eaten it if he had been) ...not desperate. i told myself i could have it but then need to tweak my food the rest of the day so i keep it within stats. it seems to have satisfied the craving. T has been incredibly difficult to deal with lately - between her being sick and exhausted from that and not getting enough sleep on top for being VERY sleep deprived for a 5 year old....its sent her attitude and focus down the drain. So betwen dealing with her (she was a complete snotty brat in the shop today after my docs appointment!), dealing with my own sleep deprivation, and this pain, and the hunger. I was just like NOPE. But that HAS to be it.

Had a nap with the girls and seem to have my control back a bit more.
 
Haha I love a sassy girl but sometimes could they must reign it in a little. ..... PLEASE! !! Like when mummy is tired or ill or doing an assignment :) L had me ordering her a new dress for her school disco yestrday whole I was struggling to get my essay done :D

Well done for tweaking and keeping your stats under control :) :)
 
Oh, she's just out of control Lou. I was actually in tears earlier. She's just like...SO defiant. And doesnt listen or answer questions. I dunno. She used to be such a sweet girl. So loving and happy and chipper. Helpful and kind. And she's just....emo. And seems to really not like me too much these days. So i was bawling like a baby because I just dont have a the slightest clue what to do or how to do it. She still hasnt gotten out of bed from her nap, even though i woke her at 3pm after 3 hours of sleep. !!!! I woke her and asked her to get up, then came into the livingroom. She ignored me. I called her to come in to the livingroom, twice. Ignored me. I can hear her rabbiting away to herself in bed. I went in a bit ago and asked her if she was gonna get up - "no. Im not well". I asked what was wrong - "a shooting star fell on my elbow and now i have a spot on my elbow". Uhm. So I said "no, it looks fine. theres no spot. are you going to get up now?" and she said "no. i need another nap". meanwhile...she's yabbering away in there.

*shrug*
 
Oh, she's just out of control Lou. I was actually in tears earlier. She's just like...SO defiant. And doesnt listen or answer questions. I dunno. She used to be such a sweet girl. So loving and happy and chipper. Helpful and kind. And she's just....emo. And seems to really not like me too much these days. So i was bawling like a baby because I just dont have a the slightest clue what to do or how to do it. She still hasnt gotten out of bed from her nap, even though i woke her at 3pm after 3 hours of sleep. !!!! I woke her and asked her to get up, then came into the livingroom. She ignored me. I called her to come in to the livingroom, twice. Ignored me. I can hear her rabbiting away to herself in bed. I went in a bit ago and asked her if she was gonna get up - "no. Im not well". I asked what was wrong - "a shooting star fell on my elbow and now i have a spot on my elbow". Uhm. So I said "no, it looks fine. theres no spot. are you going to get up now?" and she said "no. i need another nap". meanwhile...she's yabbering away in there.

*shrug*

A shooting star fell on my elbow <3

At least she (was) entertaining herself for a while. I really don't know how you do the 24/7 duties you're bound to have a wobble now and again especially when you've all been ill and you're just so.fkn.tired. I remember when L was about in between your girls' ages and I just thought I was never going to get a day or even a minute to myself ever again. Never get a lay in or just to read my book. But it's slowly happening. ..and I appreciate it so so much

How're things now has her shooting star injury abated?

Hugs to you xxx
 
Also. Just thinking about the emo. When J was about her age I used to really worry about his mental health he used to say things like 'I'm the worst boy in the world' and was always silly and naughty at school. I chatted to his teacher and she said she was glad I'd brought it up. So went to doctor. He needed a letter from the teacher :rolleyes: I asked the teacher to write a letter and she said she would. Anyway she didn't get round to it and it kind of went away. Bloody useless the lot of them
Anyway. What I think it is that he is just super intelligent and sensitive and as the years went on he has kind of come into his own. His first and middle school teachers wouldn't believe it if I told them he was up for head boy next week!

So although it's hard to deal with I think T is the same. Just so so clever and on the ball and her little brain is older than her body. And geniuses are always a little haunted ;) ;)

But no easier to watch when you're worrying. For me it was always what have I done, is it because him and his dad have split up? Is it because his dad hasn't sorted his life out? Is it because I married S? Have I not given him enough love, is it the bad mental health running in the family etc etc...

Sorry waffling...and might not be similar at all but just seems that she's SO clever already and reminded me of him :)
 
No. Thats exactly it, Lou. She is very very brainy...very clever. And I do think it all gets a bit much for her. She's also realizing that she has a voice...that she can say NO...she's testing the boundaries and trying to figure out how far she can push things....how much she can call the shots. Its natural. I think, part of it, tbh...is that due to weather and then illness and then even worse illness....we have been generally stuck inside for aaages. And i think she's probably going stir-crazy. Mal took her out the back and they did some "sweeping" (flailing the broom around! lol) and watering the plants and she played hula hoop etc. and when they came back in, she was a different girl. The fresh air and general outside activity did her a world of good. We are going to get the back yard in order so that I can just let her play out there sometimes and we are also going to (finally) start going to some Home Ed meetups so she can hang out with other kids. I think all of that will be very very good for her. Poor little stifled monkey!
 
Ah yeah that there ol' cabin fever. That is L to a tee hates being in and not doing stuff all the fkn time!! That's why I need school to entertain her and take up the slack, she's too much sass for me!!. Then even at the weekend she just wants friends round all the time if we're not constantly busy ... tonight She's at a disco then bringing a friend back to sleepover but then she's already trying to make plans for another friend to come tomorrow afternoon, like you know, in case she's not occupied for 10 seconds

Hope you have a happy little girl this morning and it's sunny so you can get some air :) :)
 
Back
Top