Bizarre shopping trip/Body Image

[mags1x]

Soooo on wednesday our LLC reminded us that next week she would be taking our pictures again (week 13) so we could compare our before and after pics. Now I have been putting off clothes shopping because I still have more to lose and won't be stopping I guess for another 6 or 7 weeks, but I thought to get the full effect I should be wearing something that fits well for the photo. Also I thought it would be nice to have a top thats nice for crimbo and I needed a pair of jeans too as mine are just rediculous now.

Of I went to the shops in full knowledge that all my 16's are really too big now (bear in mind I am only 5 foot tall by the way a 16 was huge for me I was an 18 at the start) I am browsing and having to remind myself the 'plus' racks are no use to me now. Whenever I picked up 14's I looked at them and they just looked too small I couldn't see myself squashing into them. Anyhow I took a selection into the changing room and the 14's really did fit properly in fact some of them were loose. Also a strange thing has happened to my proportions, I would always have been a bigger size on the bottom than the top but that seems to be the other way around now, I think a lot of the bulk has gone from my hips and bum (yipee!). So I am officially a size 14! Can't quite believe it as its been a really long time ago since I was that small!

Now heres the weird mindblowing bit..... I know a lot of you have experienced the same or similar. I have a full length mirror in my bedroom, and I sleep naked (sorry tmi) Whenever I get up I think I blanked out the sight in the mirror as I never noticed. However a few weeks ago I caught sight of myself and looked properly and I only thought I was ever about this big maybe just a bit bigger. I deluded myself when I was 12 stone 12 that I wasn't all that big...not really. But I was sadly. The problem is now I still see myself as quite fat, because I never really looked before I haven't seen the proper difference. I'm hoping my before and after pics help me along a little there.

Also, my childbearing tummy is looking really droopy and wrinkly, theres still a fair bit of fat in there to be shifted (I have no intention of stopping till I am at my target) and I'm going to start toning exercises, but does the skin really recover at all after a bit of time? Sometimes I manage to convince myself its ok with me, my hubby doesn't care about it and to a degree I'm not bothered as its half his fault after all we have a wonderful daughter together. In my positive thinking state I am saying well, if I get rid of the fat and do the exercises I will be the best I can be, which at the end of the day is all anyone can achieve (without surgery which I can't see me having!).... but will it be enough to make me feel good about it? I am under no illusions of having a supermodel flat tum, but if I thought it would even improve by a quarter I think it would be enough.

I have no regrets I hasten to add, I am so pleased to have come this far, my doctor is over the moon as I was at really high risk of diabetes so that risk is already drastically reduced. Once at target I will always be slightly more at risk of it than everyone else but I can live with that. If I do become diabetic it will be much easier to manage than when I was big. I already do feel better about myself albeit that I am also confused about how big I was/am/might be! and I already have much more energy for playing with my daughter. I have won on many levels already!

Well if you made it to the bottom of this post well done! I didn't mean to ramble on so long lol.

mags
xxx

 

[Soraya]

THE SKIN WILL RECOVER! I am currently using firming stuff on the tummy after using a firming shower gel, I do pilates and use the belt. Really there is no more.

Also, the skin is the damage on the outside you can see. But the weight was doing damage inside that you couldn't and really that's the more important part.

But I think women are sold an 'if you lose all the weight you'll look perfect' and then when you lose weight and your body isn't perfect you feel a bit conned and blame yourself. I have saddle bags and actually caught myself thinking of liposuction. They've always been there, but I couldn't see them under the fat!

Size12/14 is what you are! Enjoy it.

 

[AmandaJayne]

Mags I really identify ...

... with your comments. It's exactly the same with me. I was a size 24 and am now 16. But I can't get my head round it. I have to buy another pair of trousers because my others (size 18) are too big now. I am reluctant because I don't actually believe they (the size 16's) will fit. I could not stand the disappointment if they didn't.

It's the same with the mirror. What exactly did I 'see' before?

Alot of people are opting to follow a Low GI eating plan after they get to goal, mainly because it reduces the effects of a sugar 'high' which leads to overeating and false hunger. Low GI is recommended for diabetics too, so hopefully your diabetes can be held in check long-term?

 

[Malinky]

You're definitely not alone - I felt (and still feel exactly the same). I've been at my target weight for a few weeks now and now "officially" fit into size 12 trousers (still size 14 top because of unfortunately big boobs but it could be worse!) after losing just over 6 stone.
I feel I should be "getting used" to my new size but I keep getting things out of the washing machine and thinking "ohmigod I've shrunk this"! Shopping is even worse - I go into a shop, pick up various items, think "they'll never fit", change then for a bigger size, try them on and then have to change them for the ones I originally picked up!
I think it's down to the fact that we've all distorted our body images so much that we really can't see what is obvious to everyone else - when I was still losing weight I even bought clothes that were too big for me because, despite what I knew to be the case when I was trying things on, I really couldn't compehend that I was actually that size.
I'm guessing I'll get more used to it as time passes (just like I'm hoping my saggy belly will tighten up at least a little bit!) and a lot of the counselling I've done with LL will help, I suppose we just all need to get into new "thinking" habits as well as new eating habits!

 

[canireallydothis!!]

Yup, I can identify with this too, Having got into a size 12, im scared!! I keep thinking I should buy the 14 so there is room to grow!!!

How mad is that!!

But, Im a size 12, from a size 22, and I need to get my head round it. When I have tried them on and bought them, I feel better, but |Im scared to try them on at first incase I have shot up 5 stone over night or something ridiculous!!