"But you don't NEED to lose weight.." - For anyone else who gets told this!

[sparty]

I know this feeling too. My friend is dieting for her wedding and I am really supportive of her but it does my head in that when I have a moan about how I feel about my weight as well I get "pssshhh....you are tiny. You don't need to loose weight. Feck off sparty.....your boobs alone weigh about 2 stone!!"
I just feel a bit miffed that I am expected to support her (and I always would) but that my feelings about it and aspirations for losing weight are brushed off an really unimportant because she has decided that 'I don't need to lose any weight'.

I am short (5ft1) and about 9st13lbs. This is the heaviest I have been for a while and while I know that it seems like a normal weight - I am really miserable about it. I feel uncomfortable in my clothes (which is no surprise seeing as they are really tight now) and when I get dressed I am consciously thinking of picking clothes which are loose....I have never done this before.

I really admire everyone on this site for opening themselves up to ask for support and regardless of whether someone has 2 lb to lose or 2 stone I will do what I can to help people.

 

[chubbie]

I get told Im 'fine' as I am and 'I look well' which in my experience means fat! lol But at nearly 17 stone I am not fine and I do not look well. xxx

 

[natcat]

I get told Im 'fine' as I am and 'I look well' which in my experience means fat! lol But at nearly 17 stone I am not fine and I do not look well. xxx

Hahaha, this was my turning point as well. I left a job to one that requires travel. Was snacking on sweets and crisps and full fat coke all journey long. Visited my old work and every one said "you look well Nat". I thought to my self - that means fat doesn't it!! So now, 12lbs down in 7 weeks, I actually do look well - looooooooong way to go though xx

 

[natcat]

I just feel a bit miffed that I am expected to support her (and I always would) but that my feelings about it and aspirations for losing weight are brushed off an really unimportant because she has decided that 'I don't need to lose any weight'.

Not on really is it. Friends should support if the other one is unhappy - regardless of the reason. But that's what we are here for!xx

 

[sparty]

Indeed Nat and I get a lot of support on here! Where would I be without minimins

 

[chubbie]

I really like this forum

 

[natcat]

Indeed Nat and I get a lot of support on here! Where would I be without minimins

Me neither, helps my every move!!

 

[natcat]

I really like this forum

Me toooooooo!!

 

[sparty]

Some examples from my friend;

Me: i desperately want to drop a few lbs after some pics from the weekend. I wish the camera lied lol
Her: Oh bore off. Lol you are tiny.
Me: I weigh the same as you did when i came for dinner
Her: You have at least two stone in boobs
Me: doesn't matter about boobs. I feel uncomfortable.
Her: I have no boobs. Well I think you look wicked

Which is nice of her in the end but not supportive before really.

 

[natcat]

Some examples from my friend;

Me: i desperately want to drop a few lbs after some pics from the weekend. I wish the camera lied lol
Her: Oh bore off. Lol you are tiny.
Me: I weigh the same as you did when i came for dinner
Her: You have at least two stone in boobs
Me: doesn't matter about boobs. I feel uncomfortable.
Her: I have no boobs. Well I think you look wicked

Which is nice of her in the end but not supportive before really.

it sounds like she genuinely doesn't think you do need to, so probably thinks you're moaning for nothing. To be honest, it's prob best not to mention it again to her. Just be happy when she tells you how fab you look!

 

[sparty]

I know. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but when people just dismiss it I feel like cr*p.

maybe I'm just not in a great place at the moment and I'm over sensitive.

 

[natcat]

Just think, you're doing this for you. Stuff everyone else x

 

[Laurenypop]

End of day, I've never had a friend tell me 'yeah you know what, you are looking hideous, losing weight will be good for you!' I can't imagine anything more awkward than a friend moaning to me about being overweight, of corse a supportive friend will feel awkward and instantly go for the stock response 'nah you're tiny you're fine' end of day, we ALL look in the mirror and pick a flaw...first I ever mentioned losing weight was to my friend who does SW with me, she said 'come to SW it's great' and that's probably the best thing a friend could do anyway! My other friends didn't know until I'd been doing it 3 week and so the first they heard of it was when they noticed I was eating 'weird' haha. I think you're friend didn't mean to be unsupportive, she just didn't think agreeing with you would be a good way for the conversation to turn =) SW friends are the most supportive for me ^.^

 

[katttb91]

I get told not to diet but I am because its my choice and I feel happier doing it and I'm doing well also it's just a couple of stone for my holiday to take me to the right weight for my height.

im doing it at home on my own , but using this site everyday as its so helpful and friendly

good luck everyone in your journeys

 

[kellmo]

Hi Anella,


I'm subscribing! What a fascinating diary you've got going on. I too did dukan for a few months but quickly felt sick at the thought of all the sweetener I was having. I need to lose about a stone after losing 4 - so people are telling me not to lose weight but i do need to. I think they're comparing the slimmer me with the fat me. I'm comparing thinner me with the me now.., confused yet??!!

Your aspartame poisoning sounds horrific - what a shocker!

Kellmo xx

 

[ToriaLeonard]

I get this too - friends say 'don't lose any more' or 'you didn't need to lose any in the first place'. I got this more at the start of my journey as I guess they wanted to manage my expectations. As I lost more & more I got more confident with telling people how I was doing - it's nothing to be ashamed of. Now i'm plain proud of how I got my life back on track. Have my awards on my desk at work to remind me every time i'm tempted by the vending machine - just how far i've come for me, no one else. Other people's support is a bonus, I know I can succeed with or without it