Charleybarley's last attempt - 90lbs to lose

Well done on the weight loss. I'm aboutvto go into Christmas mode too.
 
Monday 4th

Hi all

Well i have had a lovely weekend, lots of christmassy things going on. Our home is decorated and we saw most of Mick's family on Saturday night, which was lovely. Food wise, I haven't been very good, today I was going to start a fresh - but I haven't been very good again.....

I don't know why I cant stop myself, I haven't planned anything, therefore I do not and will not be on plan. I feel sluggish and tired and angry with myself. I can barely do my rain mac up! So why cant i stop? I am both petrified and excited for Christmas because I know I will be happy but also I will be eating and drinking everything, i will be like Essex's answer to the Tasmanian Devil, which is going to mar my holiday. I have kind of made my peace with the fact that I will probably need a seat belt extension...which again is toxic news because it means I will be "f!ck it" . I am currently ordering bigger size summer gear, because I KNOW I will need it. I want to try. I do...... GAHHHH!!!
 
It's so easy to get into a "f*ck it" cycle - and I don't know the answer to it either, hun, wish I did!

Your focus will kick back in, so keep the faith and maybe stick some inspiring pics up round the place (in between your decorations lol) to help you think "That's what i want".

I've concluded that I just can't follow a CC plan, because I eat wildly and All The Time! Nightmare. So, just know you are not alone in this xxx
 
I don't have an answer either. I don't want small meals so I often have late breakfast no lunch then not too early dinner.

The only thing that has kept me going all these years is to go to a class to be weighed no matter what.

Good luck xx
 
It's so easy to get into a "f*ck it" cycle - and I don't know the answer to it either, hun, wish I did!

Your focus will kick back in, so keep the faith and maybe stick some inspiring pics up round the place (in between your decorations lol) to help you think "That's what i want".

I've concluded that I just can't follow a CC plan, because I eat wildly and All The Time! Nightmare. So, just know you are not alone in this xxx

Thanks Susie, it’s so hard isn’t it? It’s that wild animal inside me that takes over - I have no guilt after, just anger that none of my clothes fit and life is that teensy bit harder every time you gain a bit....

I am giving CC a go - just so I can try and eat the nice stuff, goodies etc (by goodies I mean a proper bacon sandwich with white bread not bacon medallions with 60g wholemeal!) and hopefully lose some of my gut before the cruise....I am not hopeful. I feel like I am going to have a terrible time on holiday because of my weight, it’s awful to say it but as much as I love holidays, I wish I weren’t going in many respects. Mick would be so upset to hear me say that, so I put on a brave face....but all my holiday clothes are tight, I think the heat is going to kill me, the plane is going to be uncomfortable - I am being very negative about it all, and that’s really not me.....does it stop me from stuffing? Does it balls!

I don't have an answer either. I don't want small meals so I often have late breakfast no lunch then not too early dinner.

The only thing that has kept me going all these years is to go to a class to be weighed no matter what.

Good luck xx

Thanks ND - I tend to do the brunch/dinner thing at the weekend too. I don’t like going to class - it doesn’t help me stick to it any more than going it alone, it usually just makes me ashamed of myself and resentful. I have done a fair few classes and I still feel that way. I think that it’s my battle and I will fight it.

I love this forum though - it’s all anonymous and non judgemental - it’s like we are all part of a secret gang!
 
Friday - my pay day - yay!!!

So I have spent the week licking my wounds and wondering what to do about myself. I have decided to do CC for a while, just over Christmas. My cruise is on the 12 jan, so 5 weeks today. I am going to try exercising with it - that massively helps my frame of mind and makes me feel slimmer somehow, lighter? Even though it kills my foot problem, I figure that I need it. So back to the Home gym I go. My garage is kitted out with all that I need and I have a ‘yoga’ studio set up in the spare room, by yoga studio I mean there is a space on the floor for the mat surrounded by suitcases and Christmas boxes and bare walls!

I have no high risk meals upcoming this weekend so I know I can be good.

Tomorrow I have my speed awareness course . And after I am getting my roots done, then an evening in.

Sunday I am round my sisters for dinners, she is doing lamb shanks - I will have to work that out. I will drive though so I don’t have a drink - much to my brother in laws dismay I’m sure!!!

Have a lovely weekend all.
 
Hey Charley,

Glad you're still around. I meant to post a few days ago, but I'm glad to see your back to CC today. I was going to suggest maybe you eat around maintenance until Xmas, and so relieve some pressure. But it looks like you do have a plan, which sounds good.

Sending you lots of support x x
 
Hey Charley,

Glad you're still around. I meant to post a few days ago, but I'm glad to see your back to CC today. I was going to suggest maybe you eat around maintenance until Xmas, and so relieve some pressure. But it looks like you do have a plan, which sounds good.

Sending you lots of support x x

Hey Buffy - good to hear from you too. How is your foot doing now? Any better?

I am going to try and see what i can do, but I feel the added pressure to lose a bit before the holiday. Its a weird feeling, but I don't generally notice when the weight creeps on, then I will get a realisation that my tummy feels lower and the old bra feels tighter and I have to 'heave ho' out of the chair and its like "How did that happen?!" I feel like I need to lose some of that in order to be ok on holiday. The problem is pressure, I don't do well under pressure .... even when I am not under pressure, I still don't do well!

Thank you for your support, I wished I could have a cup of your strength and will power.

xx
 
I wished I could have a cup of your strength and will power.

Oh yes we could all do with some of that :).

If the pressure is worrying you then take it away hun, just try and stick to maintaining as Goddess Buffy says - it's a tough time of year, with all sorts of temptations - so just keep trundling along, and get back into focus properly when you're back from your amazing cruise xx
 
I totally get the pressure thing - might be the only bride to gain weight before my wedding instead of loosing it! :-D

CCing is a great tool to make you feel in control whilst giving flexibility to enjoy some seriously yummy food.

Good luck with it.
 
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