Child not eating because mummy isn't?

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by futureyummymummy, 7 February 2009 Social URL.

  1. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Hi for the past couple of weeks I've been having problems getting my 5 year old to eat at home and I thought oh ok he's probably just eating a lot at school etc but yesterday his teacher told me He's not been eating his lunch and they're getting a bit concerned.

    I was just wondering if anyone else had been in the situation on child not eating beacause mums not?

    I'm not really sure what to do tbh I'm just really concerned about it all because at 5 he's obviously too young to understand.

    Emma xXx
     
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  3. westiegirl

    westiegirl Gold Member

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    Sorry that I can't help as I don't have children, but that's certainly a worrying thing about how our actions influence those of our children. Quite scary in fact :eek:

    Hope someone is along soon with advice. You could also post this in the Families section where it might get seen by a few more people x
     
  4. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Oh I didn't realise there was a families section, thanks hun :)

    xXx
     
  5. westiegirl

    westiegirl Gold Member

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    There's also a Parents bit as well x
     
  6. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    before LL did you sit down and eat together?
    does he now eat alone?
    mine haven't noticed i'm not eating yet - amazingly! i'm veggie so i keep cooking meat things and they know i can't eat it.

    i'm also making a big thing when i eat my bars - and the other day one called me a pig for having 'another milk shake'! cheeky monkey! When my daughter bakes i pretend to have some and go on about how lovely it was , or i try and pinch their food.

    anyway, back to you - kids do go through phases, sometimes eating double during a growing spurt , then very little for a few weeks - they don't usually starve themselves. It could be just a coincidence you are on LL when this is happening.

    Has he said why he's not eating much?
    Is it certain things he won't eat.

    The more stressed he sees you getting around food the more likely it is to continue and he could also use it against you for attention seeking if he knows you are worried about him.(obviously i don't know him, but i've def seen kids do this - i have been a primary teacher for 17 years)

    good luck, i would imagine it will sort itself out - but understand how worried you are, its only natural.
    daisy x
     
  7. MandyLupton

    MandyLupton Gold Member

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    I agree with Daisy.
    Do you sit and have your soup, shake or bar with them at their meal times?
    It is really hard to know what to do when a little one starts mimicking our behaviour.
    I told my boys (5 and 4 years) that 'mummy has to eat special food to make her lose her big tummy' and luckily that has worked for me. They have even wanted to taste it and I've let them.
    I hope the problem works itself out.
     
  8. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Thanks guy's I do make sure I ALWAYS sit and eat with the kids. I am hoping it's just a phase but I just get sooo worried as I know I copied my mums eating patterns.

    He just says he's not hungry or if I ask him why say's he doesn't know, he's always had a really good appetite though hence being concerned.


    Posted this on the families board also and feeling really upset by the replies I got :(.
     
  9. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

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    Just read what the two people have replied on the family board. The first one is completely unsupportive and telling you to stop LL. They're not on LL, probably haven't tried it and aren't at the 'last resort' stage you are to be doing it in the first place.

    It's made me really angry to see someone being so unsupportive on this forum.

    Probably best to ignore it and listen to the people who are doing LL...we're the ones in the know!!

    I think daisy's probably right, kids go through phases of eating and not eating. I certainly did as a child. It may be that this had just coincided with your LL.

    I can understand it's a worry but you're doing all you can. 'eating' with them at meal times. The key is that if you worry about it, he will too. It's not that you're not eating ANYTHING. He still sees you with shakes.

    Maybe try and get him to have some chunky soup so he's having the same as you? Although he needs to understand that you and he have different needs when it comes to food and he needs nice things so he can play with his friends. You need your special food so you have the energy play with him!

    I don't think he's mirroring you but that's easy for me to say. Maybe make a big deal of eating your bar in front of him so he can see you eating.

    I hope things work out. And I hope the people on the family forum are more helpful!!
     
  10. brumchick

    brumchick Full Member

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    You know your little boy better than anyone so trust your instincts. My daughter is 21 now (so she survived my parenting lol) when she was little she would hardly eat a thing for several days at a time just saying that she wasnt hungry. Then she,d start eating normally again I think as long as kids are drinking,and are not poorly try not to worry too much ,they will eat when they are hungry.
    ps my daughter has never had issues with food like me and is a size 10- luck rather than any example I gave her and she still has "not very hungry days"
     
  11. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Thanks Rachel, the first reply was just soul destroying I felt as though she was saying I value myself more than my children which is so far from the truth, they're the reason I NEED to do this!

    I have started giving them soup a lot more and they will eat it but he's not keen on anything else at the moment when he does ask for something it will be yogurt or jelly so I give him those. I've been giving him smoothies 2-3 times a day instead of just 1 as i usually do (only 1 as although the sugar is natural it's still not great if you have too much but then you knew that lol).

    Maybe he just wants to 'eat' like mummy is, hopefully it won't last too long when he get's bored and wants what his brother/sister/friends are eating.

    I know I'm probably being silly but I can't help worrying, it comes with the territory!

    Emma xXx
     
  12. Poppysparkle

    Poppysparkle Silver Member

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    Emma, I've just gone off on a long rant on that thread of yours in the other forum!! LOL!!

    I'm sorry that you got that reaction there, these people have no clue about this diet and should really NOT be so unsupportive and judgemental. It makes me sure that I'm so not going to post anywhere other than here!

    Anyway, I'll post my post below (if you understand that!) in case you don't want to venture back there!!!!

    Hi Emma

    My kids have benefitted in SO MANY WAYS by me being on LighterLife. I'm much, much happier, have more self esteem, more energy and things can only get better!

    They all understand that I needed to lose some weight and I think for them to see me eating addictively pre LL could have done more harm than them seeing me working on improving myself with such determination. I'm proud that I've done this and proud that they have seen me have the willpower and pure strength of mind to have not eaten for the past 14 weeks. Even on Christmas Day when I just had my foodbacks and black coffee and water, they were very understanding and accepting of what I'm doing. They absolutely are not affected in any way because I'm not eating. My daughter, who is seven, actually tells me all the time that she prefers her new mummy to the fat one! I have also just added at least five years to my life, which will benefit them immensely!

    I could go on and on! I've done SW and WW, and neither worked for me for any length of time. LL has actually changed my life and will continue to do so. My self esteem is through the roof and day to day life keeps throwing up unexpected benefits of doing this diet.

    I do believe that kids go through stages where they eat less and aren't really interested in food too much. I'd just keep offering him it and continue eating your soups/shakes/bars at the table with him. Don't get stressed out and he won't pick up on any negative feelings with regards to his eating and will soon be eating like a horse again. He could actually be coming down with something and not have much of an appetite. One thing is for sure, he definitely won't starve himself!! ;-)
     
  13. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Yeah brumchick I just worry as he's always had a HUGE appetite and as he's literally always on the go I worry that the small amount he is eating isn't enough but again I'm probably just worrying too much :p but you know what thats like lol xXx
     
  14. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

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    Yummymum, you do matter though. Why do you have to throw all your hard work? The first reply made me so CROSS!!

    Poppy, saw your reply on the family thread...have tried to be restrained in my reply on there but here's what I wrote...

    yummymummy, you've lost 50lbs so far ok LL so it's clearly working for you. You shouldn't have to change your diet plan because of this and I think that suggestions below aren't especially helpful or supportive.

    The key is not to panic about it. You're more than half way through your programme and will be eating again in no time.

    Stay calm about it, keep eating your soup and bars with your son to show him you need to eat to live and I'm sure he'll soon change back to wanting to eat again. Anyone heard of kids just going through phases? It happens! My neice didn't speak for four months. then one day she just started again. My friend's two year old refuses to eat and yet all her family have a healthy appetite.

    The main thing is not to beat yourself up and think you're causing the problem. PLUS.....

    please remember to think about yourself too. maybe that may be seen as a selfish attitude but you're doing this diet for yourself. And you're doing great!!!

    All will be well I'm sure xx
     
  15. susianna

    susianna Full Member

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    Hi Emma

    Has he just started school in January? If so my thoughts would be this is probably a reaction to starting school than anything to do with your diet. Its such a big step for them and they can manifest their anxieties in many different ways and this could be it.

    If you think this could be the reason then with the support of the teacher I'm sure that this will be a short lived problem. My two both took a while to settle into school and whilst one used to scream and cling to my legs the other just went quiet and bottled it up for a while.

    Please try not to worry too much and let us know how he gets on.

    Good luck. x
     
  16. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

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    oooh emma, stared a raging debate on the family forum!! Apologies for my rant there. I'm going to stop now. But can't be doing with a certain person being quite so judgemental to the extent she's suggesting your parenting for being on a VLCD!!! How ****** ridiculous. Grrrrrrrrrr

    Main thing is, try not to worry.....and remember, you'll get all the support you need here. It may well be a bubble but it's what you need to stay focussed.

    Sorry if I've overstepped the mark with my comments on the other forum. Just want to stick up for you because you're doing so well xxx
     
  17. Poppysparkle

    Poppysparkle Silver Member

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    Right, I'd best stay here as I'm getting too involved over there! LOL!! It's just that I deal with a lack of understanding about LL daily from people who don't know enough about the programme to comment!

    Good advice Susianna, I completely agree that might be the answer!
     
  18. Poppysparkle

    Poppysparkle Silver Member

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    LOL Rachel!! I don't think you overstepped the mark at all! Great comments over there!
     
  19. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Ooo I've not been over since before shall pop over now and have a look x
     
  20. roundrachel

    roundrachel Silver Member

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    brace yourself lol xxx
     
  21. futureyummymummy

    futureyummymummy Silver Member

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    Lol it really is interesting to see how different peoples reactions are towards you when you're doing something like LL if I was on ww and only eating a big mac or 25 yogurts every day then that would be fine because obviously it's healthier than this and they'd say it was just a phase wouldn't they. I have replied over there though but I don't think it will be a surprise to anyone that I won't be posting over there again :p.

    Emma xXx
     
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