Hi Lonely mum.
I wrote you a long reply last night and when I went to submit it timed out or something and I lost the whole thing

and broadband was off this morning.:sigh:
Anyway I am going to try to sumerise what i said last night . I hope you dont take offense or get upset about anything I say because thats the last thing I want to do.
I presume with Lauren you have tried all the usuail time outs ,consequences like no telly, take awayDS etc and found it impossible to inforce with her.
I found it strange that she levels out at school .obviously she has figured out that this behaviour will not be tolerated at school.
Behaviour problems beyond the normal can be caused by many things but you need professional help to sort it out. I had to fight for every assessment the lads ever got and go on your gut instinct ,a mother always knows. Get your gp involved , Nhs , local Mp and get her assesed properly. They should have come to watch her behaviour at home too.
My youngest 15 boy has Asperger syndrome , very mild but has social difficulties and sensory problems. Some days he comes home from school like a bear and goes in to his room and thumps a punchbag and then plays his playstation ot tecnic lego and then comes out an hour later a different child . I have learned he needs this time alone. Your girl may have been storing up her frustrations at school all day too and you get the brunt of it when she comes home. . Is there any chance she could be dyslexic .this can cause frustration for kids at school,food allergies can also cause hyperactivity.?
You have to look after your own mental health too as I have learned over the years. Try and get some support from family and friends and start shouting to get her reassesed. The thing is if you dont do it noone will . Dont be afraid of the outcome . A diagnosis is only a means to getting help.