Welcome welcome hoping to loose big.. !! well done for joining our crusade.. I hope you don't mind but I am just going to get this off my chest and I will leave it at that.. so today's story is "eating in temper"
so, I work with thin ladies, one of our team has lost weight with a regime of healthy eating and exercise.. I am so pleased for her but now its like being with a reformed smoker.. cd is bad.. do it my way, if you only had more will power, join the gym... blah blah blah.. so the devil arrived and internally my mind went racing off. I thought why don't you just say I am fat, weak etc etc.. I have had hell of a year, dealing with a life long illness that limits my mobility.. I have tried and tried to loose weight, this is my return to cambridge after stabalising on my meds.. so here I am again... blah blah.. so when the cream c***s arrived.. that was it.. in I stuffed it.. well what the heck it's obvious I am a failure so I will just be the fat girl..
this feeling was that of when I was a teenager and hiding my pain through stuffing my face and there it was today ready to comfort me as only I now how... f**d .
So if eating healthy turns me into a boring born again food junkie.. someone please tell me.. PLEASE!! the person I want to be is someone who is calm around f**d and not to eat as if my life depended on it.
So how did I turn it around today instead of turning it into a full on angry binge.. well I felt abit sick

lol.. I drank lots of water and sent a txt to my cdc.
So girls tomorrow is another day and I know no matter what, I still will be over weight this Christmas, but I will work on it that next Christmas won't be.. and I might just be able to buy that little black dress
Thanks for reading if your still there.. rant over.. pass the water
