Clairex's red/green diary :) x

[clairex]

Hey

I am going to start this diary due to my gain this week. I think writing everything down will help me massively - I have a long way to go and can't afford to be gaining this early on! Ok so a little about me, i'm 20, I live just outside of Blackpool. I work in a GP surgery but am hoping to go back to uni next year to be a primary teacher - which is a major dream for me. I am following red/green as I found EE didn't work for me as im not a big fan of fruit and veg so found it difficult to eat 1/3 of Superspeed foods at every meal.

I really need to do this for me. I have lost out on so many oppurtunities, so many friends, and just life in general because my weight holds me back. I just want to be myself without being embarassed and always attempting to hide in the background!

I do love sw but its hard, where I work the cupboards are full of chocolate brownies, profiteroles, crisps, dips, biscuits, chocolates. all my faves aahh! haha. I generally just try and stay outta the kitchen I am also trying to excercise - doing a bit of zumba when i can but its hard when you work full time! I work until 6.45 and most classes around here start at 6.30 which is a bummer lol.

Wow this is the most boring thing I have ever written so i will leave it there! xxx

 

[clairex]

I feel as if i'm not doing very well really. Im still struggling to not eat bad things - despite knowing i absoulutely NEED to lose this week - and I can't understand why im self sabotaging so much. I keep thinking, ok im going to do some excercise tonight - and then just not bothering. I am def going to zumba tonight as people from work are going so I have to, but that means i'll have only done one hour in 4 days! How ridiculous. What am i playing at!! 100% today - no naughty things and zumba tonight! focusfocusfocus! i CAN do this and I WILL do this!!!!

 

[clairex]

When do I get to the point when I can sit in the house with crisps etc and not have some? I had a sw full english, then some sw KFC (serious munchies today!) and yet i can hear the doritos calling me. I DONT WANT THEM. I want to lose weight! I've really struggled with this all week. Just having odd bits here and there, when I know I can't afford to syn wise - and then instantly regretting it. I spent friday night near enough locked in my room as my mum was having a buffet-style meal for her sisters, and i knew if i had come down - I would have gone mad. I feel like i'm out of control. I keep trying to make sw yummy meals - and i do, and i love them, but i still keep cheating. I hate this!!! Its WI tomorrow and I know i'm going to have a gain. I need to take control but have no idea where to start.

eep.

 

[clairex]

p.s off to do a zumba dvd. last minute weigh in panic!

 

[clairex]

I lost 3lb! Awesome timeeees. only 2lb to go to get the shiny stone sticker! woop! i am determined to get it this week - so i got up at 8am (on my morning off may i add!) to go to a zumba class. it was really fun. I kinda wanted to just sit down and get my breath half way through cos its so intense - but i pushed through and felt the buuuuurn! haha! Really pleased i did it. Feeling positive! woo

xxxxxxxx

 

[JoRoger]

Well done on your loss that is great, nearly half way to that silver sticker! Can I just ask, what is Zumba? Been reading about it everywhere but felt too silly to ask as it seemed like everyone knows what it is and is doing it!

 

[clairex]

Zumba is like a dance/aerobic class, includes a bit of salsa, reggeton etc...if you go on youtube.com and type in zumba class you will see some examples but its really laid back and he says dont worry if you cant follow all the steps just keep moving and you will burn calories! its really really fun, the first ever excercise i have ever liked!! haha xxxx

 

[JoRoger]

Sounds good! I did start a thump boxing class but didn't enjoy it, the instructor said all the usual 'just do what you can' but then still expected everyone to be just as fit as she is. Afterwards I thought my arms were going to fall off, they didn't stop hurting for 3 days and I couldnt do my usual gym which was just daft, so won't be going there again. Looking for a dance/aerobics type thing instead as that won't hurt quite so much afterwards!

 

[clairex]

sounds like zumba is just for you then! if you go onto zumba.com and click 'find a class' all you have to do is pop your postcode in and it tells you the nearest ones xxx

 

[clairex]

I am back with my tail between my legs. Have been messing about on plan, doing it really half arsed for about 3 weeks. The main reason i've struggled is i've spent so much time in between visiting my nan at the hospice, and then the hospital, lots of panic (we thought she wasn't going to make it) so lots of comnfort eating ensued. Plus when you get back from visiting at half 9, who on earth feels like cooking something from scratch! I should of been more organised - but I just really didn't feel like I had the brain space for it. Which of course now I feel crap about because I could of lost another half a stone in these 3 weeks! Idiot. Anyway - I did the important thing, I came back on here, had a good old trawl through the boards, booked some zumba classes and have (hopefully) got my head back on. Its so hard to go off plan and then get back on. Here is my new plan:

Stay OUT of the kitchen at work.
Up my zumba/general excercise
STOP CHEATING!!!!!!!!!!

 

[clairex]

Have been to zumba this morning, which has made me more determined to make this week a good'un! Am going to stay out of the kitchen at work - and be good!! I know i'll be going back to SW with a gain after 3 weeks of rubbish - but am trying to do serious damage limitation!!! Best go get ready for work Send me be-strong-positive vibes to STAY OUT OF THAT KITCHEN!!!!!