Ally89
Gold Member
Sorry I'm making a thread to offload on, but at this moment I have no one I can offload too, so its either get it out of my system here or keep it bottled up.
1. My best friend lives in America, she's been my best friend for 2 years, we have never met in person, hopefully going over there in january. But we are so close its unbelievable. She suffers from severe depression and EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) and has been the same way since she was 7 years old (shes 18 now). She won't take her anti depressants anymore so her depression has rocketed and in the last few weeks (as I know of she has attempted suicide 4 times), and she hates how she looks and the eating disorder that half abated is back worse then ever cos she gained weight since moving in with her boyfriend, she claims to be dieting, but I know damn well shes starving herself again even though she hasn't admitted it. I can't take being so far away from her, the way she is going, there will be no need for me to fly over to see her cos she will have killed herself.
2. My mum has been sick for 3 years, she can't eat solid foods, doctors aren't worried cos she "is still within BMI", only just, but she is so skinny, barely awake most of the time, she'll fall asleep and I have to watch her cos one of these days she will stop breathing. Dad has had to wake her up a few times cos she's stopped breathing in her sleep. All this is because an endoscopy revealed a twisted stomach, hospital lost the pics and and surgeon said the radiographer was "over exaggerating" even though he hadn't seen the images. She finally sees a gastro surgeon in a few weeks, but she worries me everyday, that one day she just won't have the strength to carry on.
3. I've been told today my job role is changing. i should be happy because my pay should be higher and I will no longer be a junior (and I know that they will be keeping me on after my trial year ends), but my boss knows i'm not a skilled web programmer, I am a designer, but now my colleague is leaving I'll have to do what he does too, while they take on another person who will be concentrating on the easier stuff. I'm scared I won't be able to do what he asks of me even though I know deep down I can do if I try, but it scares me knowing all the pressure is going to fall onto me. I'm scared of letting everyone down, and having to ask for help cos I'm not skilled enough.
Sorry for my ramblings, I'm sat here, not knowing who to offload it all onto...not like I can talk to my best friend or mum at the moment. I'd always tell my Grandad this time of stuff, but since he's been dead for 7 years I can't really do that. I just don't know what to do anymore...all this worrying is no good for a compulsive worrier who has a slight depression problem.
1. My best friend lives in America, she's been my best friend for 2 years, we have never met in person, hopefully going over there in january. But we are so close its unbelievable. She suffers from severe depression and EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) and has been the same way since she was 7 years old (shes 18 now). She won't take her anti depressants anymore so her depression has rocketed and in the last few weeks (as I know of she has attempted suicide 4 times), and she hates how she looks and the eating disorder that half abated is back worse then ever cos she gained weight since moving in with her boyfriend, she claims to be dieting, but I know damn well shes starving herself again even though she hasn't admitted it. I can't take being so far away from her, the way she is going, there will be no need for me to fly over to see her cos she will have killed herself.
2. My mum has been sick for 3 years, she can't eat solid foods, doctors aren't worried cos she "is still within BMI", only just, but she is so skinny, barely awake most of the time, she'll fall asleep and I have to watch her cos one of these days she will stop breathing. Dad has had to wake her up a few times cos she's stopped breathing in her sleep. All this is because an endoscopy revealed a twisted stomach, hospital lost the pics and and surgeon said the radiographer was "over exaggerating" even though he hadn't seen the images. She finally sees a gastro surgeon in a few weeks, but she worries me everyday, that one day she just won't have the strength to carry on.
3. I've been told today my job role is changing. i should be happy because my pay should be higher and I will no longer be a junior (and I know that they will be keeping me on after my trial year ends), but my boss knows i'm not a skilled web programmer, I am a designer, but now my colleague is leaving I'll have to do what he does too, while they take on another person who will be concentrating on the easier stuff. I'm scared I won't be able to do what he asks of me even though I know deep down I can do if I try, but it scares me knowing all the pressure is going to fall onto me. I'm scared of letting everyone down, and having to ask for help cos I'm not skilled enough.
Sorry for my ramblings, I'm sat here, not knowing who to offload it all onto...not like I can talk to my best friend or mum at the moment. I'd always tell my Grandad this time of stuff, but since he's been dead for 7 years I can't really do that. I just don't know what to do anymore...all this worrying is no good for a compulsive worrier who has a slight depression problem.
