Confessions of a chocoholic (My weight-loss diary)

~JoJo~

Member
Hi,

I'm new to SW, have lost 4 stone through calorie counting, but hated how OCD it made me about food and having to know the calorie content of everything, so decided to join Slimming World Online. Bit disappointed there isn't a members forum on there though!

Anyway, its my first week, I still have 2 stone to lose, but I have already failed!!!! I have already overeaten on syns nearly every day :(

I'm not sure if Slimming world is going to work for me, but I don't want to give up. The reason I am overweight is because I am addicted to sugar. I love chocolate, sweets, anything that's junk. I get really depressed and upset if I haven't eaten any that day. So, my problem isn't eating 'normal food' I'm good at portion control and I eat healthy choices (don't cook with oil, eat lean meat and oily fish and lots of fruit and veg, don't like cheese or sauces or pastry and other fatty stodge). My problem is that syns don't allow me the amount of sugar I normally crave, so I am struggling. I get cravings and there's no amount of fruit that takes it away - I don't want fruit I want chocolate!!! There's no 'free food' that I can find that quenches my need for chocolate (sick of yogurts and options hot chocolate already - want something I can chew!), so I feel at a loss to know how to control my sugar cravings and make this diet work for me.

I can see how some people like eating lots of normal food, so this is great, because they can fill up on lots of food. But I'm happy to eat my bf, lunch and dinner and not crave any more of that food - I just crave sweet things!!!

I haven't weighed myself (weigh in on Tues) but I feel bad that I haven't even lasted one week and I don't know if I can control my cravings to not ruin all my other weeks too :(

Any advice from SW slimmers?

xx
 
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Shroomy

Member
Hiya I'm also new to all this, and I also crave chocolate and stuff so far I'm doin good, my weigh in is Tuesday but I have done good by my food choices so I'm hoping for a good result. Whenever I feel like I need some junk- ish food I google to see if you can make it the slimming world way. Today I googled cup cakes and meringues. Good luck! :) x
 

~JoJo~

Member
After a disasterous day yesterday, trying to find a solution to my obsession with sugar and not wanting to quite SW before my first week was even over, I went out and bought some low-syn sugary snacks to try again to get through a day without cheating.

I've had a good day meal-wise, weetabix for breakfast with banana. Sushi for lunch (2 syns) and some grapes and a turkey stir-fry with rice for tea (free on EE).

To try and NOT ruin a good meal plan, I have snacked on a muller-light yogurt with chocolate bits in it (just to scrape what chocolatey taste I could out of it) and a pink n' white (2 1/2 syns). I also have bought the hazelnut Options, as it tastes just like Bueno, which is one of my favourite chocolate bars, so when I drink it, I can imagine I am eating a bueno lol...I thought 'good girl - this is it...you're really doing it - no cheating today!)....

THEN...I get a knock on my door and my neighbour has given me THE most biggest box of 'Thornton's Classic Collection' chocolates EVER! I tried to refuse them, but they shoved them on me. Now they are sitting there - looking at me....just giving me evils and telling me to eat them. Its my first weigh-in tomorrow and seen as though I have cheated with my syns on nearly every day I don't have high hopes for the results. The last thing I need is to scoff my face full of chocolates. I just don't know if I can stop myself!! ARRGH!!!

xxx
 

~JoJo~

Member
My first SW weight in was today

I lost 2 lbs!!! :D

Very pleased, as I did go over my syn allowance nearly every day!!! Obviously with the exercise I did and not overeating on chocolate and sweets as much as normal (which was putting the weight on/stopping me from losing) it was still enough of a change to lose the weight! So very happy :):):)

I have been working on my sugar addiction and ways of solving it. The latest (and very effective) method I have been doing is visualisation. But not the type you think...not trying to visualise a life without chocolate - but a life WITH it!

I wanted to trick myself into thinking I had my favourite chocolate, when I didn't. That way, I wouldn't feel like I was missing out or being denied anything (sure fire way to sabotage myself through wanting to rebel against being told I didn't have enough syns for that). So instead I have got the two free or low syn things that I have found match the taste of my fave chocolate bars the most - options hazlenut (tastes just like a beuno) and muller light orange with chocolate (tastes just like terry's chocolate orange). When I'm eating/drinking one of these, I visualise eating the chocolate bar and it makes me happy, makes me feel like I AM eating it! Then I am satisfied and I don't feel the need to go out and buy chocolate :D:p

Update on box of chocs: they unfortunately do all have nibbles off of them, because I wanted to taste them, but pleased I didn't devour the whole box!!

xx
 

Babysham80

Full Member
S: 17st5lb C: 13st5lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 30.2 Loss: 4st0lb(23.05%)
Hi JoJo,
Your posts made me laugh, a couple of tricks that might help you :-
- freeze your choc and take out only your syn allowance
- Don't have choc in the house, if you have to walk to the shop to buy it at last your burning a few calories while doing so!
- Look for the lower syn stuff, eg an 80g bag of rainbow drops are 7.5 syns (but its a big bag), most treat size bars are around 3-4 syns (my old reliable is freddos for 5) or you can buy boxes of 99 flakes which you put in ice creams for 2.5 syns
- Make cake - your syns will go further, loads of dessert ideas on here and in SW online archive
HTH
Stef
x
 

bubblensqueak

Loves Slimming world!!
S: 18st5.5lb C: 16st8lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 35.3 Loss: 1st11.5lb(9.9%)
Hey Jojo, i have enjoyed reading your diary. Well done on the 2lb loss thats amazing. Just thought i would say do you know the Cadbury chocolate elves they are only 3syns a girl in my group swears by them she has 3 most days and still has a loss every week!!!
 

GGGG123

Full Member
S: 11st9lb C: 10st13.6lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 26 Loss: 0st9.4lb(5.77%)
I've really enjoyed your diary, I love chocolate too, I bought a pack of fun size cadbury chocolate so it had mini flakes and crunchies etc, and each one is an average of 4 syns, so most days I just have one in the evening with a cuppa. Or sometimes if I've had a bad day, I have 3 but I still stay with 15 syns :D
 

MinkyDinky

Holiday Countdown!
S: 20st7lb C: 12st3lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 26 Loss: 8st4lb(40.42%)
One word - mikados! Half a syn each, 32 in a box. They do normal choc, White, dark and hazelnut!

Get on it!! Stop my sweet crave after a couple :) good luck! Xx
 

~JoJo~

Member
Thanks everyone for the low syn choccy suggestions. Have written them all down. Really need low-syn backups for days like today where I have jumped off the wagon. I also bought SW low syn snack book and am arming myself with items from in there too. :)


So I am into my second week now and my meals have been just fine. I have been enjoying cereal (HEb) for breakfast or, my weekend treat this week is a healthy SW 'fry up' each morning. Lunches have been going fine too. Really grasping the SW way of eating I think. Love the fact I can enjoy loads of rice and I often choose to use micro rice for lunches (for convenience). A slight syn (depending on where you get it, Co Op basmati micro rice is only 1/2 syn, wheras Uncle Ben's is 2!). I work outdoors in countryside management and its quite a physically demanding job so you get hungry! Rice and potatoes with lots of salad and some cold meat to (thank you EE days! :D) have meant I can really fill myself up while at work and not feel deprived from my multiple sandwiches and pork pies and other things I used to take with me to stuff my face....

It is funny how I am so physically active and yet I still manage to be overweight. Purely just because WHAT I am eating is too high in fat and calories. Even if I'm burning 100's I'm eating 1000's!!

Now though, I am happy my meals at least are what they should be, even if my sugar problem is sabotaging my good efforts with normal food. I 'invented' a really tasty chinese-style sausage casserole the other day. I cooked some quorn sausages (my Tesco stilll stocks the free ones) in some fry light and then, instead of veggies I stir fried some chinese vegetables with some fry light, soy sauce and chinese 5 spice. Mixed in the sausages with these to give them a nice spicy and soy sauce tatse. Then I heated up some chopped tomatoes and basil and made some mash potato (without butter, and milk from allowance). Then I served up my sausage stir fry with the mash and used the tomatoes as a sauce to eat the two with - was scummy!

So I thought 'Hey...my second week is going really well' until yet again SUGAR has come along and ruined it. Well, really...I have come along and ruined it, because I could choose to say no!
I have had some work niggles lately. Work I don't want to do, but I have to do. I have to do it from home too in my free time and I just don't want to do it!!! I feel like rebelling, and I've been putting it off and off and off...

Instantly, when thinking about how much I DON'T want to do this work I start getting really bad chocolate cravings and junk in general cravings. I try to do my visualisation with yummy chocolate drink and muller light, but because I had that box of nibbled chocolates my neighbour got me just lying there (couldn't bring myself to chuck them away - mistake number one!) I ended up eating the WHOLE BOX!!! :eek::cry:

So that was one day ruined quite spectatcularly. Now today...I am still faced with having to do this work I don't want to do. I'm not doing right now as I write this...I am writing on here instead of working. The only way in the past I have managed to force myself to complete home projects is by pumping myself with energy drinks, fizzy drinks and yummy treats. It sends a signal to my brain the work is more fun than it really is. So I went out and bought some. I know I know I know...this is bad. Why am I ruining my second week??? I bought a sugar free energy drink and a sugar free fizzy drink (fine) but then I spotted - MINT AERO BAR FOR £1!!!! The really big bar too....what a bargain...had to buy it....I KNOW I KNOW!!!!!! :cry:

Then...in a state of chocolate-filled blindness I accidently also bought some jaffa cakes. :break_diet:


So thats it! I won't throw them away...just like I didn't throw the box of chocolates away. I will eat them ALL and put on weight when I come to weigh myself on Tuesday. I really need to do this work and I'm trying to justify it in my head that I'm trying to force myself through it with snacks. In reality, I know I am just sabotaging myself, but I don't know what to do to minimise the damage I am causing myself. I don't want to skip a meal and do 2 hours exercise, but I can see myself doing that to try and still lose weight. Its not right and its not healthy! I BOO myself! I give myself a big BOOO :(

xxxx
 

~JoJo~

Member
Well...I have had a small victory, after my very large defeat.

Decided to sit down and watch 'The Biggest Loser' to catch up. Was an episode hilighting health problems and I was watching it while miserably eating my aero like a right proper addict (not enjoying it - but somehow unable to stop!) when I thought "hang on a minute...this isn't just about me feeling upset I can't have my favourite non food group on SW, this is about me caring enough about my health not to put cr*p inside me!"

I thought, I could lose weight, be skinny by over exercising to make up for weak moments where I pig out on chocolate, but HEALTH wise - what would my body be like on the inside. I want to live a long and healthy life, and it is better for my body to not eat junk. So...with lots of strength (unfortunately had eaten quite a bit of the aero, but only 1/4 the pack of jaffa cakes) I threw the rest in the bin.

Bit happier now....but really need to stop buying the ruddy stuff in the first place! Talk about burning your bridges before you even get to them :sigh:

xx
 

~JoJo~

Member
This diary is slowly turning into a 'how to really fail at losing weight' than a weight loss diary.

So, the weekends are pretty much my trigger for sabotage. After yesterday, I woke up determined not to slip today. My meal place was nice and simple:

BF: cereal (HEb)
LU: small baked potato with turkey and salad.
DN: chilli con carne (SW style)

Nice and easy. But...after struggling to get much work done, I've neglected to do the washing up and I feel pretty depressed, so instead of making my nice main meal, I have pigged out on junk again and I am going to buy a takeaway. I am just so worn out I can't be bothered cleaning the kitchen.

I've pretty much doomed this second week to failure - I used to be so good at losing weight. I mean I went from 15 1/2 stone to nearly 10 stone!!! But 2011 seems to have really knocked me on a soul level and I just don't seem to WANT to lose weight. After having put on nearly 2 stone, I know in my head I don't want to go back to being really big, but here I am, ruining things for myself.

I've decided I don't like weekends, I have too much freedom to stray. I like being at work so I can't go to the shops and cheat.

Really need to sort my weight loss attitude out because its just not happening! Am scared about what the scales are going to say for my 2nd weigh in, after cheekily slipping by and loosing 2lb my first week, I think with what I've done this weekend I won't be so lucky :(

This is definitely a guide to what NOT to do if you want to lose weight :D

Hope you are all being stronger than me!!!

xx
 

~JoJo~

Member
WEIGH IN TOMORROW!!! :eek::(:cry:

Have to admit, I'm a little nervous. As you can probably tell from my above posts, the long weekend of my 2nd week did not go as planned. Started off well, but then slipped into binge eating habits (mainly of chocolate, but takeaway snuck in as well) that got me to the weight I didn't want to be and is now ruining my attempts to get back my ideal body!

Having found myself with a day off today, and being an avid fan of 'The Biggest Loser' (the american ones are WAY better than our British ones - but I watch both) I decided, with my weigh in tomorrow today should be my.....LAST CHANCE WORKOUT DAY!

Obviously, if you're a fan of the show, the night before weigh-in the contestants get a 'last chance workout' to burn any extra energy before their weigh-in.

So I turned on my Wii and stuck in my 'Biggest Loser Challenge' game (going cheap on play.com if anyone is interested) and set it for a 60 minute workout (aiming to burn around 500 calories). Oh my god! It starts off ok...but then you realise 'I've got another 50 minutes of this!'. Not so easy then!!! Anyway, I managed to burn around 350, but couldn't last the whole hour. Still...that's 350 calories burned that may help make up for the endless crap I have eaten over the weekend.

I'm planning on walking to my local Tesco to get some SW friendly food for the next couple of days too. The Tesco is about a mile away up a steep hill, so it will be a 2 mile walk all together, with the second half having me carrying 'weights' (you can call shopping weights right??).:rolleyes:

Then, I can add a bit more activity, by cleaning the flat (and kitchen) so I can cook the SW chilli con carne I was supposed to have eaten yesterday.

Then in the evening I can do some 'floor work' exercises (think I will shove in a pilates DVD) so that I don't p*ss off my downstairs flatmate by jumping around on the floorboards like I was while he's been at work today hehe.

Meal plan:
BF: yogurt with banana
LU: Wholemeal roll (HEb) with turkey, ham and lots of salad. Light mayo (2 syns)
DN: Sw chilli con carne with basmati rice

The only thing I'm struggling with, is...do I use my syns today and buy one small bar of chocolate, or do I steer completely away from it, after overeating on it. I feel like I do two things > I either completely abstain from junk and deprive myself of it OR I gorge on it and binge and go to extremes. Maybe to stop me beinging I should try to eat a small amount everyday and just try to steer clear of the large bars and the large bags of sweets (that I buy in my chocolate deprived crazy moments)

don't know! Don't know! Hmm....

xxx
 

~JoJo~

Member
Distraught, depressed, angry, sad, upset, negative......all those words describe how I felt when I jumped on the scales and I put on, not one...not two...not three...but FOUR pounds since last week. I have never put on 4lbs in one week before. I am now actually 2lbs heavier than before I went on this diet!!! I was 2lb slimmer eating chocolate every day and having takeaway every day!

Can't quite believe it. I know Fri Sat I let myself down and grossly overate (by SW standards) but by my 'old' ways standards it was a pretty average day (like I said...I would eat like that every day) so I was hoping 2 out of 7 days being bad wouldn't result in too much of a gain...BUT 4LBS! NOOOOOOO! :-(

Its only my second week, so i'm really going to have to pull it out of the bag and get myself together, because I cannot CANNOT gain 4lbs again next week! Shocking! I still can't believe it. I know I'm eating regular meals now, wheras before I would snack on chocolate, sweets, maybe have some cereal or a sandwich (maybe not) and then a takeaway. So, if I think about it - I'm probably eating more food now than before and my body is light Woooooah! To have a chocolatey binge on top of that was just too much for my body to take I guess.

Its a shame, because I burnt around 800-1000kcal during the week through exercise, but obviously - not enough!

Instead of giving up I went to Superdrug and bought myself lots of beauty treats. I'm now wearing a face mask, while drinking a cuppa and eating my mini eggs (which have used up all my syns but I needed them!) and then I'm going to dye my hair, put on the new makeup I bought and go out tonight to my weekly dance class and burn some calories :eek:)

There's always another week!

xxx
 




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