Confessions of a Serial Dieter Diary

[welshgirl21]

Hi and welcome to my new diary. It is here that I will be recording my trials, tribulations and successes as I travel forward on my journey to a happier, healthier me. Please join me, stick along for the ride and I hope you enjoy travelling this road with me.

So, lets begin at the beginning; I joined Slimming World on the 15th November 2010 in a bid to lose weight before my holiday. I went to group religiously every week, bought the recipe books and followed the plan, but the weight did not budge. Maybe my head wasn't in it fully, maybe I was making mistakes, but whatever it was it wasn't working and I was miserable. After a lovely weekend with my family and a good talk with my mum (who is my agony aunt, supporter and best friend) and my partner Rob (who is my rock, soul mate and world) I decided to go hop off the Slimming World train and get a connecting train to Healthy Lifestyle Plan.

Last week was the first week on the new train and for once I enjoyed what I was doing. The evening meal portion sizes were reduced and I didn't feel hungry, fruit intake was increased as was water. The gym was also attended 3 times and became much more effective when I realised I couldn't sit on the bike like I was out for a Sunday toddle, I actually had to increase the level from 3 and sweat a little bit. The weekend bought a challenge of a girls weekend away with my University friends where a Chinese was eaten and wine was drunk, but the food was in smaller quantities than it would have usually been; instead of ordering a dish each plus rice we chose a set menu for 2 between 3 of us which was plenty. After a night of wine and vodka and lemonade plus a whole lot of dancing til 4am the morning started with a fried egg sandwich, but it was cooked in low calorie cooking spray and put on brown bread. Sunday evening didn't go to plan as Rob and I ordered out for a curry and I admit I did eat far too much food which is probably why I stayed the same this week at my weigh in this morning in the bathroom.

However, this week I am continuing with some new changes I adopted toward the middle of last week; cutting out wheat and gluten where possible. After eating (before I jumped on the new train) pizza, then having a white bread roll a few days later and last week having a slice of quiche for lunch I noticed a connection: whenever I eat anything 'white' with white flour in it my stomach bloats, distends and cramps. So out went white bread, pasta, dough, pastry and flour where possible and it really has made a difference. I am also branching into more vegetarian foods. I am by no means becoming a vegetarian, but I do enjoy the quorn and Linda McCartney ranges and I am also using Soya milk.

This morning started well with gluten free cornflakes with soya milk; lunch was quorn strips with tomato couscous and a muller light; after the gym tonight it will be salmon, prawn and asparagus gluten free pasta with a low fat creme freche and dill sauce. To make dinner I am actually going to weigh out the recommended weight of pasta for 2 people which is 200g to make sure I don't make too much.

Well, that's just an introduction to me and my journey. I hope you will come with me and keep me company along the way.

Sarah
X

 

[HappyEm]

If there was a 'like' button, I would click it!. Well done on exercise so far. Your three meals are very healthy. Do you ever feel like snacking now?..I have to say that I'm not really hungry enough for it anymore..it's great!

 

[welshgirl21]

I’ve hit a bit of a rail strike on my journey already and I am already feeling frustrated. I had a sneaky peek on the scale this morning and I am still the same as Monday; why will my body just not lose weight? I put my stay the same last week down to the small Chinese and drink on the weekend, but then I thought my 3 sessions at the gym and 2 workouts on the Wii should surely have balanced that out; this week I have not cheated once and I haven’t even felt like I’ve wanted to snack. When I have snacked I have chosen fruit, low fat yoghurt or a light cereal bar.

Breakfasts this week have so far been gluten free cornflakes with soya milk Monday and Tuesday and 2 small pieces of wholemeal toast with jam today.

Lunch on Monday was couscous with quorn, yesterday was the left over wheat free pasta with salmon, prawns, dill and low fat crème freche and today is wheat free crisp breads with light cream cheese and tomato.

Dinners have been the above mentioned salmon pasta on Monday and last night a peri peri chicken, bacon and olive salad with 2 slice of garlic bread.

Exercise has been a 400 calorie workout at the gym last night; 30 minutes of hill climb on the treadmill at level 6 and 15 minutes of hills on the cross trainer at level 7.

I’m enjoying staying mainly gluten and wheat free and I do think it’s making a difference. This week I feel exercise is going to be a huge challenge as I am so tired; I go to bed tired, I sleep all night, but I still wake up tired. Maybe it’s all catching up with me; a new healthy lifestyle, work being manic and me being the only one working in my role full time and renovating the kitchen so living out of boxes and cooking in the dinning room on a camping stove.

All I know is my mum is coming to Birmingham for an overnight stay in 5 weeks 5 days to go holiday shopping with me and I am nowhere near the weight I want to be when I have to attempt to buy clothes I feel happy in. If there is no weight loss this week I may have to take some drastic steps………….

Sarah
X

 

[Wannabeaminime]

Bless you hun you can do it! Welcome to the forum btw. I think if you carry on with the exercise and the fantastic eating youve got to see some results. xxx

 

[HappyEm]

Aw, Sarah, don't feel down..it will come together for you. You are eating so healthy and all that exercise will definately count. Are you drinking lots of water too?. Maybe you should consider taking a vitamin supplement if you're that tired. I was exhausted after Christmas and started taking Iron & a multi-vitamin and I seem to have lots of energy now. Can you maybe alternate the gym sessions with a long walk the next day so that your body can get used to the exercise?.
Good luck with the rest of the week..chin up..x

 

[welshgirl21]

I was actually thinking of a multi vitamin as if I'm using soya milk and cutting right back on wheat and gluten maybe I'm lacking in a few vitamins.

I will stick at it as I want to get to the point where I feel and see the benefits. Perhaps with the sudden exercise my body is freaking out a bit and clinging onto what it has?

 

[rooie]

Your meals sound great. Just a suggestion to your problem though, maybe you arn't eating enough calories for the amount of exercise you are doing? Are you counting how many calories you have a day?

 

[welshgirl21]

I'm keeping track using an app on my iphone and some days with exercise I've had an under eat of between 200-400 cals. I'm not too sure where I stand with that as I thought if I consumed less calories and burned more through exercise I would lose weight (maybe I'm showing my naivety here).

Maybe I should increase the cals in my lunches a bit.

 

[welshgirl21]

The past two days have been mad and although I have exercised it hasn't been formal exercise, it has been in the form of renovating the kitchen. Last night was an epic filling the wall and sanding session and my goodness an electric sander is heavy, my bingo wing area doesn't know what to do with itself today. Tonight has been further sanding, filling and then painting three walls and while the kitchen looks partly like a room again, my little (or wobbly) body is battered beyond belief.

The eating hasn't been too bad but hasn't been great either; last night I had a beer and a small glass of wine at home and a chocolate cookie in work and today I also had a cookie at work. I'm also unsure about the healthiness of last nights dinner; the steamed chicken was fine, but I did a cauliflower and broccoli bake which I think may of had too much cheese in it. Tonights dinner was delicious; 2 mushroom and brown rice burgers with a salad and lunch was canned beef ravioli which was a nice change from couscous.

I've upped my water through the day too in case my body is retaining water due to the exercise and I am really hoping for a loss this week. I am trying to prepare myself in case it doesn't happen, but I can't lie; I will be gutted to my core if I don't lose on Monday morning.

All I can do for now is continue with the kitchen as my exercise, continue with the water and not have a cookie tomorrow. I'm planning something with mince beef tomorrow for dinner, not sure what yet though. Let's stick at it the rest of the week and remain optimistic and positive that the results will show on the scales.

 

[welshgirl21]

D-Day

D-Day arrived yesterday and as I stood over my bathroom scales after shedding anything that could possibly add to the numbers I stepped on. The result was a -1lb which is not a huge number, but it's still a minus and for the first time I didn't freak out about it; I acknowledged it was a loss, gave a little smile and proceeded to get ready for work in my usual slow, early morning manner while chattering away to my cats.

You see, on Sunday night I had a bit of an, well, I guess it was an epiphany of some kind - I was looking online and I came across a website about body shape. After measuring my hips and waist and entering the numbers I discovered I was an apple shape, which means I am slightly rounded. Strangely, I was not perturbed by this, instead I was overwhelmed by a new sensation - acceptance. I think I have finally accepted my body shape for what it is; I have accepted I was never meant to be one of those women who wears skin tight tops or skimpy bikinis and I was not going to beat myself up about this anymore. Instead I started looking at what clothes actually suit me and what styles suit my apple shape instead of looking at things that wouldn't suit me and feeling upset that I couldn't wear them. When I go on holiday to France I may not be able to wear a skimpy bikini, but why can't I buy a sexy one piece or a lovely vibrant tankini that suits me and that I feel comfortable in instead of buying the bikini then feeling self conscious wearing it?

I'm not using this new found acceptance to gorge on junk foods or go out and buy the biggest tub of Ben and Jerry's I can find (chocolate fudge brownie of course) because I don't want to do that, plus after the vets bill last night I don't have the money anyway. I'm still going to be eating healthy because I enjoy it so it's still cereal for breakfast, couscous, tinned ravioli etc for lunch and a smaller portion of a healthy meal for dinner, but if I fancy a piece of cake or the odd take out I'm not going to spend hours feeling guilty about eating it. I will continue at the gym, but I will go because I want to not because I feel I have to.

In light of this, I do feel fish and chips Saturday night and curry Sunday night was slightly excessive so won't be repeating that again any time soon; the chocolate biscuits didn't help either, but that's done now, I didn't feel guilty, I moved on and am back on the healthy foods again. Yesterday: Krave cereal, Thai couscous and homemade meatballs with fresh tomato sauce. Today: Krave cereal, tinned ravioli and dinner will be homemade chilli burger in a wholemeal bread roll and maybe a small portion of rustic oven chips. I might pop along to the gym if I fancy it too to walk up some inclines (which is apparently a good exercise for apples).

I am now actually looking forward to holiday shopping with my Trinny and Susannah style rule book and picking out clothes I feel comfortable in. Healthy eating and exercise will be continuing and if I lose more weight then great, if I don't lose much then no more guilt, just enjoyment of exercise and food.

I feel I have turned a corner.

 

[Ali*]

I'm so pleased for you hun ... and a little bit proud! Must be a Welsh thing

One of my motto's is to dress the best you can for your shape. It can make the world of difference to your appearance and boost the old confidence!

Keep up the good work

 

[Wannabeaminime]

Well done hun! x

 

[HappyEm]

Ah, I'm so happy for you..you're going to have a fab holiday-I can feel the confidence shining out of you now!. Can you give me a hand with my clothes now aswell, lol. If you get a chance maybe you could send me the link to that site?..I'd love a nosey at it!

 

[rooie]

I think I have finally accepted my body shape for what it is; I have accepted I was never meant to be one of those women who wears skin tight tops or skimpy bikinis and I was not going to beat myself up about this anymore. Instead I started looking at what clothes actually suit me and what styles suit my apple shape instead of looking at things that wouldn't suit me and feeling upset that I couldn't wear them.

I think this is a fantastic statement and one we should all take note of, I'm trying to get my head into that way of thinking, congrats.

 

[welshgirl21]

Thanks all, I'm just trying to stay focused at the moment with so much going on in my head. I really want to get married and have a family but Rob doesn't want to propose until some money bits are sorted which will be at least next year. It seems at the moment that all my friends are either getting engaged, married or pregnant and while each one I am happy for every time I hear their news it feels like someone is wrenching my gut at the same time.

In the last 6 months I have had 3 births, 2 engagements, 1 wedding invite, 1 wedding and in the next 6 months I have 4 births and one wedding. I'm finding it hard that I'm ready for that next stage in my life and all my friends lives are moving forward and their becoming grown ups and I'm lagging behind. I'm 27 this year and I don't own a house (I'm not on the mortgage with rob) I've never owned a house, I'm not engaged, getting married or having a baby.

It's hard for me right now.

 

[rooie]

You are not alone in feeling the way you do, I'm in a similar situation but ten times worse. Believe me you are so lucky. It's hard to believe it when someone tells you I know, but you have to look at the positives.

 

[Ali*]

Thanks all, I'm just trying to stay focused at the moment with so much going on in my head. I really want to get married and have a family but Rob doesn't want to propose until some money bits are sorted which will be at least next year. It seems at the moment that all my friends are either getting engaged, married or pregnant and while each one I am happy for every time I hear their news it feels like someone is wrenching my gut at the same time.

In the last 6 months I have had 3 births, 2 engagements, 1 wedding invite, 1 wedding and in the next 6 months I have 4 births and one wedding. I'm finding it hard that I'm ready for that next stage in my life and all my friends lives are moving forward and their becoming grown ups and I'm lagging behind. I'm 27 this year and I don't own a house (I'm not on the mortgage with rob) I've never owned a house, I'm not engaged, getting married or having a baby.

It's hard for me right now.

Hey, come on now cariad bach x You've got a lovely man who loves you very much :lilkiss: So you're not on the mortgage - that's no bad thing And what's this about feeling like life's passing you by? You are only 27!

I think you need to watch some re-runs of Trinny & Susannah or a bit of Gok for some confidence boosting :girlpower:

((((Hugs))))

 

[welshgirl21]

Thank you everyone and diolch yn fawr Ali; I do know he loves me, I think I personally find it hard to understand why, what it is about me as a person that makes him love me; it all comes down to my self esteem of which there isn't much, but I am trying to work on it.

The past week food wise has been very up and down; I've kind of been grazing as I fancy really and on what I fancy. Today has been a non stop grazing fest - cocktail sausages, scotch eggs, coconut chicken parcels, chocolate biscuits and pasta and garlic bread for dinner. I just feel really blurgh now and uncomfortably full so tomorrow I will make sure is a lot lighter and smaller portion wise.

I now have 4 weeks until holiday shopping and my weight is still not shifting so I am deciding whether to do 1 meal replaced by a shake like a protein shake to try and kick-start some weight loss. I know I won't be happy going shopping for clothes the weight I am and I won't like what I see. I don't want the trip to be dominated by hating trying clothes on so I'm thinking of this as a short term measure. My only worry is that if I use that method pre-holiday that I will gain it all back while on holiday

I might try it for a week and also make myself do some exercise, see what happens and then take it from there, kind of like a trial period. I am fully expecting a gain on Monday, but if the scales still say 12st 6lb then I might try another set as I will be convinced then that mine are stuck

Definitely a lighter day tomorrow though, my tummy cannot take anymore food.

 

[HappyEm]

Good morning!..I totally understand what you're saying about your holiday being dominated by feeling bad in your clothes. Last year, I felt so frumpy in my holiday clothes..lots of baggy tops and NO shorts (even though it was roasting) and don't get me started on the swimsuit!. I think you should see how you get on with the scales tommorrow and then make your decision. If you feel you need to kick-start your weight loss, then go for it!. Did you ever hear of the Heart Foundation 3 day diet?..my mam used to swear by it to kickstart a diet..I'll pm you with the details just in case you haven't got them.
I looked up a couple of those body shape sites that you were talking about and apparently I'm a 'Spoon'..haaa! ..It was really good and I have a few ideas now for my endless Ebay searching so thanks for that!.
Hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend and I'm crossing my fingers & toes that you get a good result tommorrow..x

 

[welshgirl21]

Catching Up

Wow, I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I last updated my diary; so much has happened in that time it would be impossible to add it all here so I'll outline what I can remember (I have a head like a sieve sometimes )

So, where am I with eating healthy and losing weight? The answer to that is not as far forward as I'd have liked, in fact not even close. I can't remember what I have eaten, but my weight loss has been nil (if my scales are anything to go by I have gained 4lbs since I was here last).

As of tonight my scales are now in the garage which is at the bottom of my garden; I asked Rob to lock them in there so now the only place I can weigh is the gym and I am going to weigh there every 2 weeks.

Rob is also on board and is fired up for us both to be more active which means we can do this together as he is really unhappy with himself too. We had a lovely talk in TGI Fridays of all places and we decided that it was time to stop talking about being more active and actually doing it. We also discussed that we have to give it time to show it's working, accept that for the first 2 weeks we may not lose anything while our bodies adapt to the new routine, but also that it has to become a way of life and something we enjoy.

An upside to this weekend was I finally found out why my bras don't fit - I have been wearing totally the wrong size! I got measured in M&S a while back, but the bra I bought didn't feel right even though she insisted that it was the right fit. One of the girls in work recommended Bravissimo and what a revalation - I was wearing 2 sizes too big around my back which is why I didn't feel supported and a size too small in the cup which is why they didn't fit properly. I now have a new bra which is so supportive I couldn't quite believe it and it also lifted me more which made my tummy look smaller, yay

I have 2 dresses to buy in the next few months; one for a hen night and one for the wedding so my next investment is going to be a Gok Wan Body Controller which I saw on his show and I'll be wearing it to go dress shopping, unless of course there is a drastic change in my weight between now and July.

Now, the plans for next week; to check if I am booked into the RPM class at the gym tomorrow and if I am then RPM tomorrow; RPM and maybe Zumba back to back on Wednesday; Body Combat on Thursday plus maybe a regular gym workout with some weights as well or I may do that tomorrow if I didn't book into RPM. I've figured classes might be the way to go for me so I'm booking them at my gym a week in advanced. I might buy a little book to keep in my bag so I can jot down what class I'm booked into (again memory like a sieve).

That's my plan and we will see how it goes next week, hopefully some regular exercise will see this stubborn weight shift.