Conflict

[pete10141748]

Wow, ok, so my head is doing a REAL light side vs. dark (heavy?) battle today hopefully writing it down will make it easier....



Rebellious Child Pete says;
I am damn sick of doing this diet

I'm sick of not being able to enjoy lunch with my co-workers

I'm sick of not being able to take my girl out for a nice drink & dinner :wave_cry:

I'm sick of watery, salty-aftertasting shakes and plastic-textured bars :jelous:

I'm sick of washing up that bleeding blender time and time again

I'm sick of spending 6 days worrying about what I'm going to lose/not lose on the 7th each week



Adult Pete says;
You were being made sick by the diet you were eating before LL

You can still sit with your co-workers if you arn't eating

You can still go out for the night and not have to involve dinner in it, or have a nice night in and cook her something special

You can mix them together, bake them, ice them, freeze them and more to change up what you are "eating"

Washing up is better than having the kitchen stink of pizza hut boxes

Don't worry about your losses; even if you get yet another STS week, you haven't gained, which is good in itself, and you will lose it eventually - in the meantime, heck, you are sitting in 38" trousers and a 17" shirt, something you haven't done since you were 15 years old: remember how far you have come and how little you have left to go - get your head in the game, you could be done really soon if you just put your mind to it!




So, yeah, a real back-and-forth day today, I literally feel like I am being pulled one way then the other.

I think it's mainly 'cos my colleague has eaten an INSANE amount of scrummy stuff at his desk today, and I've spent the whole day having to watch/smell him doing so

I tell ya, walking past that waffle stand on the way home is going to be a real test of my dedication to the slimmer me tonight :wave_cry:

 

[Huseyin]

Hey Pete dont worry i felt this way earlier last week, its going to pass you just had a bad day and watching him eat didnt help.

We had a birthday party in the office recently so i know exactly how you are feeling, i had to watch everyone eating cake and it ticked me off and i actually started to wish them ill.

It will pass hang in there you are almost done now, look at the RTM books plenty of nice food on the horizon that keeps me ticking

 

[bigboy77]

I did have to laugh about the blender - i hate washing the bloody thing up every time!

 

[lucylastic]

I did have to laugh about the blender - i hate washing the bloody thing up every time!

Me too - and I'm only on day 8 - it doesn't get better then?!!

Good luck Pete, I can't offer any advice unfortunately as I haven't come across those battles as yet, but I really wish you well - and I guess the fact you are seeing both sides is a huge step forward, I know it would be for me.

 

[Poppysparkle]

Pete, I really, REALLY struggled the week following my STS!! It didn't matter what I told myself, or the talking I kept giving to myself, it properly messed with my head! I know that I've lost loads, and I know that I'll lose again this week, but it was so tough!!

I managed to get through the week without eating, but I don't think I could help asking myself it was worth it when at the end of the week you STS! It's so stupid, and I knew that, but I managed to get through the week. I just KNOW you will too, because you inspire me constantly.

As has just been said "tomorrow is another day" - which is my motto recently I think!

 

[jcjazzy]

Hi Pete, Like Lucy I'm just a newbie,but it sounds like you've got it nailed . writing down pros and cons and taking the long view- you've obviously learned a lot on this journey.Good luck.You'll get through this!

 

[slendablenda]

sO, YOU ARE HUMAN !!!

Oh Pete
It's so difficult when you get nearer the end. So many ridiculous thoughts go through your head don't they?
We have these negative thoughts and it seems as though we are a different person from the days when we are "in the zone". Very strange.
I know you have said that the CBT part of LL hasn't really been a factor for you in your group. I think that's a shame because it has helped me through times like this when the rebellious child says things like " a little bit won't hurt" etc, etc. I can't bring myself to put any more of the thoughts. I have also had a difficult day and something occurred to me which you will probably think stupid - could it be anything to do with the full moon?
I know it has an impact on people's mental health. It certainly seems to correllate with times when I feel down and struggle.
At times like these I usually go to bed early and read the LL book and if I can be bothered I'll do a thought analysis in my head. I'm usually over it by the next day.
Tonight I'm fed up because OH is out and I've got to do the ironing I've been putting off - so bye and good luck.
:copon:

 

[pete10141748]

Thanks guys, I made it past the stand OK!
Hoping tomorrow is a bit better!

 

[thin_inside]

Pete have you worked out what your Hot Thought(s) were and how you feel/felt? You are clearly a changed man as you definitely adapted your behaviour from the old Pete by walking past the waffle stand. Well done! :clap:

 

[Minerva]

Heee, silly Pete. It's natural to have such thoughts, I conflict with myself like that every day!
The key is perseverance! I get a little annoyed by my OH eating a piece of toast sometimes because it smells so YUM, but then I think about it and I KNOW I don't want it. However, with partners; when I was still on complete abstinence I did find it a great idea to cook for my loved one.. It introduced a sense of normality and involvement.. because sometimes on LL I felt very isolated from the 'real' world so to speak... By getting involved even a little helped lots, and made it more bareable.
Perhaps surprise her with a lovely candle-lit meal for 1 and have a soup with her.

(((Hugs)))

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Hi Pete, well done on facing the blues, I hope today finds you much more positive and in control. I can't imagine how STS feels, but I've had more 'lows' this last week than in the previous 9 and it can be a real challenge.

I have 100% faith in you not straying, and getting to goal; and I suspect you feel the same way.

Keep strong