continue abstinence, also what to do about family?

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by cc28, 31 December 2007 Social URL.

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  1. cc28

    cc28 Full Member

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    Hi all! I messed up over christmas and have been overeating conventional food since the 23rd december. I am thinking of going to management now and then when I have learned how to eat- never learned sadly, just comfort ate since age 14- do a refresher to lose those extra 21lbs.

    At the moment continuing abstinence seems sooo hard!

    Another thing what do you guys do about cooking for your family. My husband works shifts and I have two children, one is schoolage and one is not.

    So I end up doing quite a few meals a day. If hubby is home early then i do breakfast and lunch in addition to the other after school meals and dinner. At the moment I am finding it so difficult to resist picking and at time cry and think why must I be surrounded by all this food!

    I dont think not cooking is an option as my children have to eat and though I have been ordering in a lot more takeaway my husband does prefer that I do prepare meals for him.

    What do you guys cook and how do you stop being tempted by them? Had I not cheated over christamas, i doubt I would be feeling so weak and tempted.:cry:
     
    Last edited: 31 December 2007
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  3. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    Hi CC. Hang in there - you will get back on track.

    I am lucky - my husband works shifts too,but can eat his main meal at work. We also don' t have children, so that makes it easier.

    I am starting LL in one week, and my husband has agreed to fend for himself for the first few weeks while I get into a groove. Aside from that, he is not too picky so he will be happy with frozen meals, etc.

    Which makes me wonder...if your husband prefers your cooked meals to take away, etc., and you find it tempting each time you prepare something - how about if you spent one day pre-preparing several meals and pop them in the freezer? Then you are not going through that daily?

    Thats a tough one for you. I find it hard cooking for someone if I can't taste it - just cause I don't know if I am then serving something nice or something rubbish!

    Well, you will get some good advice here no doubt. Hang in their - don't despair - the holidays are now over and you can re focus and get back on track.

    Wishing you luck and success!! You can do it! :)
     
  4. cc28

    cc28 Full Member

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    Hi, thanks! Happy new year by the way. Well since doing LL quite a few things have been discreetly thrown away because I have not tasted things and realised they were awful. A macaroni cheese I made comes to mind, they both sat there with it on their laps for an about an hour till i said look if you dont like it you can throw it. in the end my son told me I had used too much flour and not enough cheese and it was HORRIBLE!

    I think making a batch of meals could help but man that is a LOT of meals. I may also stock up on a few ready meals for lunch and late nights.

    Great ideas. Good luck with your LL journey, it will be one of the best things you ever do for yourself. Even though I am struggling i know I am a changed person to who I was before and for the better.
     
  5. Zomble

    Zomble Full Member

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    Hello CC and well done for getting straight back on track instead of letting everything just slide. Happy New Year!

    The cooking problem is one for most of us. I'm lucky in that my husband quite likes cooking and is very supportive, so he's been making things like lasagne and stews for the freezer at the weekends. I have 2 kids still at home, by the way. But if he didn't I think I'd do that, plus things like bolognese sauce, when he (or somebody else) is around to taste it for me.

    But the other issue, which I'm thinking about as well, since management isn't so far away, is how we integrate our changed eating habits into family meals so that we don't just go back to our old ways and put all the weight back on. It might mean changing our family meals a bit, and if you're starting management it might be easier for you to start now.

    Are you going to eat with children or husband? How can you give yourself and your family similar things so you don't have to cook more than necessary? It would be great to improve their diets along with our own - who doesn't need to eat more fruit and veg? So, could you give your eating companion the same as you, but a larger quantity with a baked potato or some rice? In other words, you both have the same but you have a bit less and no carbs?

    And do you need to cook breakfast? How about breakfast just being cereal (even hot cereal) or toast? At the moment I'm doing pancakes etc, but once we're back at school (I'm a teacher, so I go back too) it's cereal or toast, and you do it yourself (though my youngest is 9 - older than yours). If I'm being specially lovely I might poach an egg, but that's as far as it goes!

    Could lunch be sandwiches? Ok, with soup if they want heat? Then you can have whatever goes in the sandwiches plus a big plate of salad.

    Of course, everybody's family is different, but I think we'll all have to re-negotiate the rules a bit when we are in management. My LLC says the key to succeeding in management is planning, so that's what I'm doing (already! With 30lbs still to go! Manic or what?) But a friend of mine is still losing after about 8 weeks in management, so if you get it right you might never need to go back to foodpacks after all.

    Best of luck and let us know how it's going!
     
  6. Deb G

    Deb G Silver Member

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    Ummm.....can't HE cook for himself? When I started LL I told my hubby I wanted a complete break from food for the foundation period - so no shopping for food, no unpacking food bags, no cooking. I needed that 'me' time to work out what my relationship with food really was.

    Despite the fact he'd never cooked for himself up to this point, he supported me 100% and took over all the food. Now I have finished foundation (in developers) I am starting to cook for him again in preparation for when I start RTM in February.

    As for the kids meals - either he/you can get some cooked up and frozen as suggested. What you are doing is HUGE and the whole family need to realise that, AND support you in doing it.

    Keep strong.
     
  7. ladylite

    ladylite Gold Member

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    Deb G - MMMMM sounds like you and I have a similar hubby.

    He too agreed to support me through the first phase, but I am finding that I am able to prepare and cook some food, but the dishing up can sometimes be tricky. I just call him and he or my daughter does that especially if I am feeling weak. Being honest with yourself is best. If you know you are feeling weak dont try it, but if you are feeling vituous which i do occasionally I can cook a banquet and not eat it.
     
  8. Deb G

    Deb G Silver Member

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    LL - glad its not just me! This is one of the most important things I've ever done, and if hubby wasn't going to be supportive, he knows where he could go!!!!
     
  9. cc28

    cc28 Full Member

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    When I handed the cooking reins over at the start of my journey he was making egg on toast or ordering takeaway every chance!!!

    I work less than him so I would always prefer to do the lionshare of the cooking plus I do protein at every meal. There must be a way to make this easier... I think the above posts are quite good and have given me a few ideas. For one I can boil eggs and put the back in the fridge and get lots or cold meats in and there are lots of stick in the oven meat and chicken dishes that come ready prepared.

    Off out shopping..

    Also very silly me. I have not told him I am abstinent. This was possibly the stupidest thing to do but I knew he would not support me. So I had my packs and made excuses. Even then he is constantly upset and telling me I can't starve myself- it's not right.
    If I could do it all over again I would have just been upfront in the first place and then just dealt with whatever problems arose. He does not mind me losing weight but and seems happy with my new size but does not like it if I don't seem to be eating meals with the family. Does that seem like sabotage?
     
    Last edited: 4 January 2008
  10. Sandra

    Sandra Full Member

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    Hi CC

    Your husband does sound like mine. I have always done the cooking, we have been married 30 years and he has never cooked a full meal, my fault I suppose but I enjoy looking after my family and if he has to feed himself it is a takeaway or open a tin of soup. I knew I would have to continue with the cooking so in the first few weeks of foundation I tried to cook meals that I wasnt actually very fond of and wouldnt tempt me too much, I knew if I cooked my favourite meals I would be tempted big style and then like someone else said when the meal was ready I gave him a shout and he dished it up.

    As far as shopping is concerned I still do that but I dont buy any of the sweet things that I used to love. He goes once a week and picks up what he and our son would like as a treat and then I have one cupboard in the kitchen where he hides them and I never open it so I dont know what goodies he has in there.

    I must admit those were my coping stratagies when I first started but I am in week 23 now and still abstinent, not even a lick of my finger and no problems over Xmas either, I have done lots of baking and entertaining and feel so empowered and strong because I still havent cheated. I have such a long way to go and my daughters wedding in July followed by a holiday in Sorrento to keep me on the straight and narrow.

    I love this diet I havent felt this good in years and just hope that when I get to maintenance that I have learnt enough to help me through controlling my previous addiction to food. I feel really strong at the moment but am very scared about maintenance in case I blow it all again as I have been a binger all my life - hence the huge starting BMI. I feel that I am entering 2008 in a much better place than I have been for years and would just like everyone else to be inspired too. I promote LL at every opportunity just wish I had found it years ago.

    Back to cooking for the family........... I think the idea of cooking meals that you feel you should all eat once you are in maintenance is brilliant and your family will be healthier too.

    Good luck, try and stay abstinent because when you are in ketosis physical hunger disappears and it is so much easier not to put that first taste of food in your mouth.
     
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