Cupcakes and storm clouds

[~*~Louisa~*~]

This is Louisa's weight loss diary

I was one of those naturally skinny people, though i never realised it at the time I had body dysmorphia and suffered on and off from bulimia and well i always felt well as fat as I am now lol

I can look back now and think how did i think i was fat

and now I am fat though for perhaps the best reasons in the world my 3 kids

I was 10st at my heaviest before my children after my first was born I ballooned to 15 stone (thanx to some tablets i was on and my increased appitite due to a thyroid disorder, if it hadnt of been for those tablets i would of pingged back lol)

I got married and the sight of me on my wedding day makes me feel sick

I then got pregnant with my second and after she was born i had terrible post natal depression, soi found this a perfect time to make me happy by slimming... i did weight watchers and got to 11 stone and in my healthy bmi (just)

When we decided to try for another baby i stopped WW and had my third and final baby... some how during the pregnancy i put on 2 stone (baffling i barely ate for 9 months due to hypermesis lol)

Then after following a strict elimination breastfeeding diet for my baby (who is intollerent to bloody everything! lol) i even more oddly put more on!

I found myself back at 14 stone

after the elimination diet i am lactose intollerent (I was before during my period from the age 14 "hormoan based lactose intollerence" it was but since eliminating dairy its all the time)

I can have limited dairy 1 yogurt (yogurts and cheese have lass lactose) or a bit of cottage cheese/chese/quark

I cant drink milk at all i had some skimmed milk in group as i didnt have my milk with me and i was quite ill

and WW was too limiting on that the points for using ricemilk instead of skimmed was very restricting so here i am on SW which lets me have 250ml of ricemilk for free

and the ricemilk has done me a huge favour cause i LOVE SW i never would of switched otherwise and i know WW it all comes back on when you stop i feel i can carry on SW to maintain

So here I am 8 weigh ins (9 tomorrow) into my SW journey weighing over a stone less then i did 9 weeks ago how amazing is that!

So far I have my bronze and silver body magic
my half and stone award
and slimmer of the month for may

oh and i am doing this because i struggle sometimes... because of my ongoing battle against bulimia (and it is still a battle) i struggle i have sometimes gone slightly backwards and done something stupid and week before last i cut my food stupidly and gained 2lb

So I want to work through that and carry on loosing weight in a healthy way

oh and my ideal target is 9st 7lb but i might stop at 10st i dont know yet

9st being my usual weight before the kids 10st my heaviest before the kids

 

[~*~Louisa~*~]

oh wow how long was that lol

oh and the title is all about my love of cupcakes not just the food but pictures ect

I am a goth lol but now im more into the 1950's style with polkadots and classic swing dresses

I am 26 with three gorgeous girls E. aged 5 S. aged 2 and A. 7months

I am married to J. we have been married for 3 years togeather for 7 friends for alot longer

 

[~*~Louisa~*~]

So today I got up late which has thrown my day off

So for lunch I had a mugshot

Tea was 2 quorn chicken burgers mash (with extra light mayo 1 syn) peas and green beans - 6 syns

Snacks have been sugar free chewing gum (0.5 syn)

I just had my B choice's as a large bowl of ready brek with 2 teaspoons of coco (1 syn)

7.5 syns atm I doubt i will be using any more today

Just watching embaressing fat bodies blugh

 

[.Nicki.]

Hey hunni,
sounds like you've been through a lot, well done on your lose so far and you shiny stickers. Your food sounds yummy today, i'm dreaming of the day they discover a syn free cupcake (with icing obviously) that would be lovely. Good luck x

 

[~*~Louisa~*~]

mmmm how ace would that be lol

i have had to cut down on baking as im a cake mix fiend and since its not cooked you can eat like 3 cakes worth lol mmm luckly my girls now fight me for the left over mix lol

 

[~*~Louisa~*~]

Right so 1lb off not too bad not what I wanted but it was star week

Doing success express this week though I WILL loose 3lb I will get club 10 I will get 1 1/2 stone shiney!

I had my binge today chips from the chippy but tusday is day 7 not day 1 so sucess express from tomorrow

Breakfast is going to be a cereal bar lunch super speed soup and tea roast chicken (I will resist the skin! perhaps get hubby to carve and bin the skin because i cant have a small amount of skin i eat ALL the skin off the chicken) With string beans, cabbage, carrots and SW roasties maybe a yorkie we will see

I start some new tablets tonight with my past its a bit concerning one of the side effects is anerexia

but i fight my old me urges best i can do it wont matter
plus its anti depressents so that can only be a good thing

I tried on and had to wear one of my pin up dresses today as my jeans were in the dryer and it wasnt the most flattering fit but i still felt good in it

 

[~*~Louisa~*~]

Okay so new tablets I now understand why it says it can cause anorexia... it stops you wanting to eat, I have nausea, dy mouth and just feeling generally sick

Ive hardley eaten today trying to eat enough but its hard but i must because i know not eating enough puts lbs on

So my food for today

Breakfast Hifi bar

lunch nothing so mega ill feeling

Tea chicken no skin, cabbage, green beans and broccli 2 yorkies 4syns and gravey 21/2syns

I had jelly and another hi fi bar for a snack (0.5 syn)

Hex a has been milk in coffee all day

total syns 7

I wont be eating anything else today ive made sure ive had both b and 1 a so thats okay

oh and to top it off ive got a mouth ulcer urg by the end of this week i will finally be just eating for sustainance and not for pleasure again yay

 

[Maverick]

Isn't success express the one where half of your plate is meant to be superfree?? Sorry, can't keep up with some of the more extreme plans!

Rubbish that your new tablets are making you ill, they sound hideous. I hate anything that makes me nauseas etc. Hope you can eat more tomorrow xx

 

[~*~Louisa~*~]

2/3 super free

tbh 90% of my EE meals tend to be 2/3 super free anyway lol i love my veg not to fussed on spuds or meat lol

I'm really annoyed with the tablets, with my pregnancies i was really sick and we decided not to ever have more (ive got 3) because of how bad I was and I feel exactly like i did then now

 

[~*~Louisa~*~]

okay so my tablets are still making me feel pants and my mouth ulcer is killing me lol

My tablets have taken my appitite and when i do eat it hurts so much its hard to force it

I did force down some dinner timing it with my bonjella which i have to becareful with i have an allergy to asprin and my children are salicilate intollerent and bonjella has sals in them so i have to watch i dont react to it urg

So brekfast was nothing
Lunch 2 thirds of a mugshot
tea 2 quorn burgers (5 syns)
beans and cheese jacket (Hex A and B1 lots of cheese lol)

I still need second B choice ive got cereal bars but thats going to huuuuuuuuurt

I might just have some milk and call the cheese 2 b choices
I am trying so hard to stay on plan while feeling terrible

last time i had a week with little food i gained 2lb AHHHHH

 

[~*~Louisa~*~]

Well today has been a crap SW day technically ive been 100% but its still just not enough food

The tablets have started to ease off a bit struggling sleeping now cause of them and no appitite

Today I had 0 syns and 1 A and half a B choice

I migh eat my second half of a ?B choice now but i still feel very sick and the alpan light bars are very sweet

urg i know i will gain for not eating enough