cutting off my supply of heroin, cocaine etc .....

ammibxx

New Member
ok - so my drug of choice might not be sold in dark alleys, but it is still as destructive to my life as an Class A. So - come into my house , check my cupboard, fridge etc - there are also no covert hidden stashes - its all SW free food or syn measured - low mayo etc, fish veg salad eggs etc. But that is not my problem - my problem is that i go out and buy my drugs, (pasties, 3 pies and two ham salad barms at one go, not even driven by hunger, a made for sharing chocolate massive bag or bar of sweets - i dont even have a sweet tooth - or ordering takeaway over the phone and pretending someone is telling me get this and that as well, so it sounds like my massive order is actually for two people. So drastic action is needed - today, im itemising my foods in the house, listing an ad hoc shop - pet foods loo rolls etc, then a shop in tomorrow - then i am giving my bank card to my best friend to hold for me. then i will have no access to money to buy my drugs, i ve already quit smoking so a month off wine etc wont hurt either. Drastic? yes but believe me, it needs to be. Ashamed of needing to do this? yes, but hopeful it will help xx
 
Hey,

I'm Bean An Tí, I'm the newest admin. Just wanted to check in and see how the plan is going? I'm here if you need any support 😺
 
ok - so my drug of choice might not be sold in dark alleys, but it is still as destructive to my life as an Class A. So - come into my house , check my cupboard, fridge etc - there are also no covert hidden stashes - its all SW free food or syn measured - low mayo etc, fish veg salad eggs etc. But that is not my problem - my problem is that i go out and buy my drugs, (pasties, 3 pies and two ham salad barms at one go, not even driven by hunger, a made for sharing chocolate massive bag or bar of sweets - i dont even have a sweet tooth - or ordering takeaway over the phone and pretending someone is telling me get this and that as well, so it sounds like my massive order is actually for two people. So drastic action is needed - today, im itemising my foods in the house, listing an ad hoc shop - pet foods loo rolls etc, then a shop in tomorrow - then i am giving my bank card to my best friend to hold for me. then i will have no access to money to buy my drugs, i ve already quit smoking so a month off wine etc wont hurt either. Drastic? yes but believe me, it needs to be. Ashamed of needing to do this? yes, but hopeful it will help xx


Hi Ammibxx 👋

Firstly, please don’t feel ashamed, I think a lot of people in this forum can relate 💕

Food is a drug and we can become addicted, the difference from an actual drug is that we need to have a bit of our drug every day to live.

I find not buying a stash of goodies to keep in the house helps me, if it isn’t here I don’t want it, however if it is I’ll want it because it’s there! It helps with preventing self sabotage. That said, there have been occasions whereby I’ve really wanted some particular foods, usually crisps and sweets and I’ve made a trip out to get them - I try to not feel guilty for this! Guilt fuels the feeling of low self-esteem and low self-worth, which I have found fuels my vicious circle of self destruction.

I note you stated you’re not hungry, may I ask if there is something which may be triggering you?

I hope this doesn’t sound patronising, but try to not be hard on yourself, we’re only human and need to be kinder to ourselves 💕
 
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