Well yesterday was horrible, I really don't know how I got through the day. At one point I convinced myself I was harming my body and it would be better to just go back to eating. I felt quite ill really, so exhausted, headachy and dizzy. It was the dizzyiness that frightened me I think. I wonder as this week should be my 'real' TOTM whether its all hormonal. Usually I get quite tearful the day before im due and tired too. And the mood I was in whooooaaa!!
I made tea for everyone, shouted at the kids, slammed pots around and genuinely felt sorry for myself. My partner had no sympathy for me, I don't know what I expected but in his current bipolar state, there has been no emotional support from him over the last 3 months anyway. His meds make him a zombie at the moment, so its hard.
So, I sat myself in the sitting room and watched tellie whilst they were eating tea. And what came on?? The news, and a story about the african crisis of stravation. I looked at pictures of those kids and cried my eyes out. How could i be so selfish? There is me stressing over getting three good shakes a day with all the vits I could need, and those poor kids have nothing. Here I am with too much fat on my body from overeating, and they have their ribs sticking out and will probably die.
That was a wake up call. I play world of warcraft (its a stress reliever!) So I hit my game and then got an early night.
Today is another day!!
