So today was a pretty bad day, im hormonic anyway (No idea why) But i went into Guildford to go and get a new micro sim for my new phone! (Woohoo) and decided as i was there i should look around as its pay day tomorrow and see if there is anything nice in town... Now im pretty bloated at the moment, like gone up a size from it! Apart from that i think i put on weight anyway! So with my best control tshirt on i went on the mission of clothing...
Looking in at all the gorgeous clothes, in River Island, Top Shop ect for a stupid reason i decided to walk in, a few steps in i reminded myself ' you are too FAT to fit in to any of those clothes, dont be so stupid!' and walked out quicker than i walked in! So i went to primark, 20 is the biggest size, and normaly thats baggy on me! I tried on some clothes (Tried anyway, most didnt go around my bust let alone my bloody gut!)
And one tshirt fit, it was green, i suit green, but i just burst into tears in the changing room! Luckily no one noticed! I just kept thinking 'I may aswell starve myself, ill never be thin and gorgeous again'
I just want nice clothes that dont cost the earth, EBAY is my god send, when the clothes i get off it fit! ¬¬
So i came home and stupidly ate chocolate... What an idiot, then made Satay Chicken and Udon noodles... Im not doing wel today, i feel so guilty i want to eat more! ARGH!
Tomorrow, payday, get rid of all bad food and just buy what i need every day (I work in Sainsburys so i can do that)
Give myself an alowance of food, take this more seriously!
Note to self, loosing weight is hard when you give up smoking... Makes you want to kill someone!
'Rant OVER'
Looking in at all the gorgeous clothes, in River Island, Top Shop ect for a stupid reason i decided to walk in, a few steps in i reminded myself ' you are too FAT to fit in to any of those clothes, dont be so stupid!' and walked out quicker than i walked in! So i went to primark, 20 is the biggest size, and normaly thats baggy on me! I tried on some clothes (Tried anyway, most didnt go around my bust let alone my bloody gut!)
And one tshirt fit, it was green, i suit green, but i just burst into tears in the changing room! Luckily no one noticed! I just kept thinking 'I may aswell starve myself, ill never be thin and gorgeous again'
I just want nice clothes that dont cost the earth, EBAY is my god send, when the clothes i get off it fit! ¬¬ So i came home and stupidly ate chocolate... What an idiot, then made Satay Chicken and Udon noodles... Im not doing wel today, i feel so guilty i want to eat more! ARGH!
Tomorrow, payday, get rid of all bad food and just buy what i need every day (I work in Sainsburys so i can do that)
Give myself an alowance of food, take this more seriously!
Note to self, loosing weight is hard when you give up smoking... Makes you want to kill someone!
'Rant OVER'
