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Didn't really know where to put this, but: getting rude remarks and heckles in the st

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by HorseyCarrie, 11 October 2006 Social URL.

  1. HorseyCarrie

    HorseyCarrie Full Member

    So I was bullied at primary school and faced the odd torment from my brother, the odd comment about my weight from my dad and a doctor once said it was no wonder I broke my arm (when I was 9) cause I was so fat. This was when I was 7-8 stone and about 5ft tall and had been playing netball. My mum never stuck up for me and I think that was what hurt.

    Apart from being bullied and receiving the odd comment in a controlled manner, and being constantly paranoid that people are looking and laughing at me when they are not, as well as getting the odd well-meaning comment, I have never had any problems with heckles or rude comments in the street; in fact, until last year when I was ill and stopped taking notice in my appearance and put on 5 stone (was 19 odd stone before so wasn't skinny, but am very tall and carry weight well), I used to get adoring comments and a lot of attention from men. I never have looked my weight for various reasons, but there is no doubting I am very fat, especially now. And I do know, and have seen, people get really rude comments in the street... grown adults shouting jibes at others. I have had a child call me a lump before, but that wasn't him being rude. I was more offended by his mother who smacked him for it!

    So what stories of being heckled at have you got? I just read all these stories of shop assistants making nasty comments in disbelief.. not that they are untrue, I mean in shock that grown people would make such comments. I have never come across such rudeness in my life before.
     
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  3. happygal

    happygal Banned

    Diet:
    CD
    Hi Ya

    I have had much the same journey as you. School bullying, Doctors making comments, My brother bullying me, My dad making comments. But total strangers stopped making comments about my weight after I left school. The most rude comment I have actually had recently is from my CDC who said 'my goodness, well no wonder your on the phone to me then' when I told her about my weight.

    I have heard people talking about people before in my company and have told them to shut their mouths in so many words.

    I have never seen anyone heckled and cant imagine what kind of human being would do such a thing. Im guessing it would be someone who has very low self esteem themselves and has to pick faults in others to divert attention from their own perceived faults.
     
  4. flirty40greeneyes

    flirty40greeneyes Busy busy busy!!

    Start Weight:
    15st3lb
    Current Weight:
    13st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    1st6lb(9.39%)
    Diet:
    Slim and Save
    Claire I was astounded at this - from someone who should know better. :mad: I am outraged for you.
     
  5. Maintainer

    Maintainer ** Chief WITCH **

    Start Weight:
    141kg
    Current Weight:
    69.3kg
    Goal Weight:
    65.0kg
    Lost(%):
    11st4.1lb(50.85%)
    Diet:
    Self devised
    How awful. As the above poster says, you'd think a Counsellor would know better.

    I've never been heckled as such but have certainly had embarrassing moment:

    - once, walking into a boutique to buy a gift for (slim) friend, a sales person approached me and told me that they sold nothing in my size... I slunk out.

    - once, in a lift with a friend and her then 8 year old son, the lift didn't move when we pressed the button. The little darling said: "perhaps it's because your friend's too heavy?"!

    I'm sure we've all had loads of those moments, but heckling? How out of order is that? Would we do that to someone who was UGLY? Oh no, it's just us fatties who are the prey...
     
  6. HorseyCarrie

    HorseyCarrie Full Member

    Exactly. I often feel like shouting out at smokers, but as an adult I don't! I have seen people be heckled at in the street before.
     
  7. mizzyk

    mizzyk 4 stone to go

    Diet:
    Lighter Life
    I was forever being told by doctor to lose weight even when I was 13 stone at 18yrs old.

    I used to work in an old folk home and whilst helping one of the old dears getting out of the chair I over heard two of the other old dears saying "isn't she fat..... it not right that people get that fat you would never have saw that in my day" I saw the funny side at the time ....

    Then in September a group of us went out out all of us are a little plump shall i say and we were all asked to leave the dance floor coz we were taking to much room.

    Then a months or so ago I went to Alton towers and in the Que for Oblivion I heard some teenagers saying she wont fit in the seat for this ride just look at how big she is they'll have to tell her to get off, whats thepoint of her waiting to get on it coz she aint going to fit....." (p.s I did fit but only just).

    This comment and experience pushed me to look at my weight and start a Diet!
     
  8. KD

    KD Gone fishing

    Diet:
    Was Cambridge, now maintaining
    I think I've been very lucky. Bullied at school for about 3 years, but that wasn't because of my weight.

    Mum did the 'comments' frequently...but that was just her. My cousin has taken over in that department:rolleyes:

    At school where I teach, the children usually drew me weighing in at about 45 stone:eek:, but they're sweet like that :D To be honest, I had more negative comments from my class after losing the weight, as those who had an opinion, preferred me fat. Said I was more cuddly:eek:

    In the street, I was lucky never to receive any nasty comments, but then perhaps I wasn't big enough. I never went over 20 stone.

    I do know that I knocked the bullying on the head in my teens when I got to a stage where I couldn't take any more. I think I've managed to keep some of the lessons I learnt there with
    me (didn't learn much else ;)) and it's kept me going through adulthood.

    I'm told my boss is horrible to overweight people:confused: I was shocked to hear this, as I've never experienced anything but respect from him either. I did have a nasty comment about my weight from a doctor once. He didn't try it again;)

    So yes, I am incredibly lucky.

    I'm gobsmacked at what Claires counsellor said.:(
     
  9. yamyam

    yamyam Full Member

    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I'm appauled at some of those stories. I can't believe supposed "adults" can be so rude! If I walk down the road and see a right minger I wouldn't even consider insulting them and to be honest I don't think it'd even cross my mind!

    To a certain extent I can understand it from children when they're about 5 or 6yrs old. They don't know and they're not aware of what is the done thing in social situations like that which is where some level headed parenting comes into play.

    As for my experiences of being overweight, i've had the shop assistant one too. Humiliating is not the word.
     
  10. Russiandoll

    Russiandoll Carpe diem

    Start Weight:
    17st4lb
    Current Weight:
    16st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st7lb(2.89%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge Weight Plan - Step 1
    I've had various nasty, negative comments throughout my life but the only thing close to heckling I can think of is when I was out walking hand in hand with hubby one day ... I was about 16st then and he was really slim built at about 10st. We walked past some workmen mending a road - I saw one nudge the other and nod towards us. He then starting whistling the 'Laurel & Hardy' theme. I was mortified. Luckily hubby hadn't seen what happened and didn't twig on about the whistling.

    After that, I always felt embarassed on his behalf when we were out together (although he was never ashamed to be seen with me - the embarrassment was all mine).
     
  11. yamyam

    yamyam Full Member

    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Well, they certainly can't do that now can they? You look amazing!
     
  12. Starlight

    Starlight Gold Member

    Diet:
    Weight Watchers
    Thats absolutely awful!! I cant believe people could do that. I hope you complained :mad:
     
  13. Karen

    Karen Serial Foodie!

    Start Weight:
    19st7lb
    Current Weight:
    18st2lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    1st5lb(6.96%)
    Diet:
    Atkins
    i can honestly say i was never ever bullied at school although ive was the fattest kid there. i sailed through primary and secondary school with lots of friends and never any comments.

    it was my family that were quite bad but i dont think they were trying to be. just all stoopid i guess lol.

    i did get heckled in the street about a year ago and it was by 3 men waiting outside a job agency. I walked past them and one of them said "oh mind u dont walk too close to that drain, u might slip down it!" then they all fell about laughing.

    the thing is, they were ugly AND fat. also filthy and looking in dire need of a shave etc.

    I got really upset about it and not because so much of what they said but because I didnt react. I didnt react because i was paying no attention to them and by the time what they had said registered, i was much further up the road and felt it would look a bit stupid me turning on them as the moment had passed!

    came home and cried to hubby cos I flt i had not stood up for myself. he was livid lol. bless

    also had a guy say to my friend in a nightclub "god ur friend is so good looking, its a shame shes so fat". my friend hit him :eek: i didnt even know til the next day why she did it.

    the only other thing i have encountered is people staring at me and hubby. i almost always notice that when a woman give him a lusty look she'll then see me and look mortified that hes with me lol. like hes too good for me. ive even had occasions where we will be sitting alone in a pub or club or whatever and when other people become social with us, they are shocked to find we r a married couple. again, thinking he is too good for me. i wouldnt mind but im quite chosy with men and i consider him lucky that i gave him a second look LOL
     
  14. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

    Goal Weight:
    12st0lb
    Diet:
    measure up

    LOVE YOUR AVATAR
     
  15. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

    Goal Weight:
    12st0lb
    Diet:
    measure up
    I was never a big kid as I was very sporty, especially keen on gymnastics, I gained all my amateur badges.
    My weight went on when I married and moved to Germany for 8 months (hubby was in raf). Though it was only a few stones at first, it piled on when pregnant with first son, had pre-eclampsia and blew up like a balloon. Put on over 5 stones......well it just slowly kept going up until recently.
    I have heard people talking about my weight etc and most people look at you as if they have just scraped you off the bottom of there shoe. But I have not had anyone come to my face and say it......though you will hear kids shouting at you from across the street.

    Anyway just wait till I get this weight off I will run after the little gits then see how brave they are.....lol
     
  16. Karen

    Karen Serial Foodie!

    Start Weight:
    19st7lb
    Current Weight:
    18st2lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st7lb
    Lost(%):
    1st5lb(6.96%)
    Diet:
    Atkins
    LOL!

    i guess u could just carry a catapult sonkie and make them pay for it now!
     
  17. sonkie

    sonkie Gold Member

    Goal Weight:
    12st0lb
    Diet:
    measure up
    Catapault nah much more fun to grab em then see how brave they are ....lol

    Only joking I will not hit a kid......unless they are alone....lol

    Oh can you remember when we went swimming Karen I started having a go at those teenagers still in the pool.
    Gobby little gits making comment about us so I had my say, but thankfully the lifeguard had been watching and had a go at the kids.
     
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