DIVORCE

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by tara40, 2 November 2010 Social URL.

  1. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    BEST DIVORCE LETTER - EVER!
    Dear Wife:
    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 wee ks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.
    Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
    Your EX-Husband
    P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia
    together! Have a great life!



    Dear Ex-Husband
    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anyt hing if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away because the £29.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed
    it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed £30 from me that morning.
    After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for £6.1 million, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home
    you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me.
    So take care.
    Signed,
    Your Ex-Wife,

    Rich As Hell & Free!
    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
     
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  3. cmcewn

    cmcewn Silver Member

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    ROFL, good one! Thanks for sharing.
     
  4. *EB*

    *EB* Gold Member

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    hahahahhahahah! fanbloomintastic!!!! :)
     
  5. Polyanna

    Polyanna Silver Member

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    Very good!
     
  6. metrognome

    metrognome is getting better at it

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    love it
     
  7. emsiebelle

    emsiebelle Member

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  8. Janine 40

    Janine 40 Full Member

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    sooooooooo funny, made me smile after a blooming bad day at work.

    Thank you. xx
     
  9. Dodders!

    Dodders! Member

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    ha ha...that put a smile on my face!
     
  10. eye6769

    eye6769 Vegetarian who lives2eat

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    very good haha
     
  11. Trefoil

    Trefoil Gold Member

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    Absolutely love it :)

    Ruth
    x
     
  12. miss_marshmallow

    miss_marshmallow Full Member

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  13. Sam1988

    Sam1988 I ♥ Slimming World

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    haha, this cheered me up after a rubbish morning at work!! xxx
     
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