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Do weddings cause so many rows?

Hello to all I no this is just for LP but I am so fed up and thought I would come on here instead of eating, hope this makes sence, starts with my mother not wanting to come to the wedding cus she thinks her nose has been pushed out so wait for it she says I am no longer her daughter, said so many times to me in my life but still hurts. Talked to her yesterday was polite but did not ask her to please come to the wedding her choice I said, now today my sister is not comeing so my flower girl wont be there either................. sorry to tell you all this but I feel so much better, reason why sister is not comeing is cos I wont call my mother mum no more, I just belive to be called that she needs to act like one she has 4 daughters and only my sister has anything to do with her now. Thankyou for reading this wedding is July the 4th I feel so much better, and I did not eat anything ty once again.
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Families are sometimes tough aren't they, but you all need to get together on neutral ground and try and mend the problem without biting each others heads off and be as understanding as possible. It will work out in the end................"We're a long time dead" as my mam says xx


Silver Member
Firstly, well done for not giving in to the dreaded comfort food.
Families can be soo difficult can't they? I can empathise as that is why OH and myself have waited 15 years to get married, and are now sloping off to Orlando with just our kids.
I can't really offer a solution, but hopefully your sister will come round again and was just speaking on the spur of the moment.
Your wedding day is your special day, and it is a real shame when people can't let bygones go and just be happy for you.
Think about all the achievements you've made so far and focus on those, and never feel guilty about off loading here, that is what it is for. :hug99:
Big sighhhhhhhhhhh

Thankyou for reading it I feel much better and I am so glad I wrote instead of eating :) I have come to belive now that we all have choices if life and if thats what they want to do , I will let them get on with it got to old in the tooth to still play, play ground games. Thankyou again hugs and cuddles to you all. :)
Diana I feel so much for you, at least half the people in this world have families that do their heads in!!Look you're wedding day is about you and although I do agree that you only get one mum and you should try to make peace sometimes you just have to say **** it she prob wasn't given the skills to mother in her own childhood and thats that.Sometimes you just have to make a family of you're own and make a break from the negative!!Good luck pet! you'll have a great day!!
Hi Diana

My friend is ging through the exact same thing as you but it was her finaces mum causing all the trouble. I Will tell you what I told her, Its your day and yes it will be sad if your mum and sister do not come but ultimatly you are marrying the man you love and to be honest in your heart of hearts all you want to be there is you and your finace (and your kids, if you have any) the rest are there to witness how happy you are, they play no part in the role whatsoever. I love my husband to bits and I wanted tot big white traditional chirch wedding, which i got, but so much pressure came with having that, that if I had my time all over again I would go abroad and get married.

The only poeple who really matter are you and your partner, if your mum and sister dont want to go its their loss, you are still going to have at the end of the day what you have always wanted to be Mrs ?????.

From my point of view and I am sorry of I offend, these people who create about others peoples wedding are just jelous!!

Now continue your wedding plans and have a fab day!!


Says it as it is!!!
Awww hun. yes, families are a nightmare when it comes to weddings...i have had sooo many orders for flowers changed due to other family members not approving or arguements and they arent coming...Personally... i would say STUFF EM!!! ask a friend to be bridesmaid and one of your friends little girls to be a flower girl, and even when your sis comes round....which she will ....keep your plans the way they are!! It YOUR day and it will be best if all the bitterness is kept out of the immediate wedding party!
Plus you will be looking gorgeous....so enjoy YOUR big day with son-to-be-hubby and let NOONE spoil it!!


Getting married July 2011
Your mother sounds like a nightmare. It must hurt you alot. Your sister doesn't sound much better. Assume they're not coming, and if they do it's a bonus. Don't let it ruin your day!
Sorry to hear whay you are going through. The preparations for your wedding are already stressful enough without having to deal with family. This is YOUR wedding, and your family are not being fair in behaving in this manner. I would approach your Mother and your sister separately, and ask them do they want your wedding day to be special for you, and if they say yes, then ask them to consider you in their decisions.
Being on L/T is also difficult but you have shown strength in not breaking your diet when you were upset. You are going to look beautiful that day, and remember you can choose friends in life but you cannot choose family.
Best of luck to you in all your wedding preparations.
At the end of the day, your wedding day is YOUR wedding day, you do exactly what you want, if she doesn't want to come and you've obviously asked her to come, then she's cutting her nose off to spite her face.

She may change her mind nearer the time though, but dont beg her to come to the wedding, you've asked her and thats that.

Just because a mother gives birth to you, it shouldn't mean you do everything they say.

Personally if the only reason your mother had for not coming to the wedding is because she felt her nose had been pushed out, then i couldn't ever forgive her for not being there on what is supposed to be the most important day of your life, and if i was you i'd tell her you'd never forgive her if she didn't attend your wedding.

I no longer speak to my "mother" (and i use that term loosely) after years of being bullied and manipulated by her, after she started on me around my newborn daughter, upsetting and putting her in danger aswell, i said enough was enough and that was it, i stood upto her for the first time in my life after she had controlled me for years, and now i wont have anything to do with the woman, she's a nutcase and i'm much happier without her in my families life.

Sorry rant over, but i know how you feel.



Full Member
Have never really wanted the 'big' wedding myself, well until my bro-in-law got married in Aug 06. After that i spent about 4wks trailing the net pricing stuff up etc, then it came down to the invites, spent one day deliberating over these, and knocked the whole thing on the head :D
Couldnt be hassled with the whole 'if i invite them, then they wont come, scenario'.
In the end me and the OH just eloped, went to the New Forest, got wed pampered ourselves and didnt tell anyone till we got back. And everyone that truly cared about us was happy and wasnt put out by the way we did it.
So as others have said, its your day so do what makes you and your partner happy.
Hope it gets sorted.

Nicci x


Back on the wagon!
Wedding are supposed to be more stressful than divorce....once yourself and your hubby to be are strong you will get through this....hopefully mum will see sense.....is there anything you can offer her as a white flag....get her to organise something - the flowers, the reg office/church - anything to keep her distracted!

Hello hun congrates for the new baby, only thing I like my mother to do is to just stay away from me, no matter what I done in my life it was never good enough for her so now I have shut the book on her and my sister and if she changes her mind and comes to the wedding she and my sister will be turned away. I know some of you will think this hard but have cryed to many tears in my life over her its time to stop, My new life starts with my fantastic hubby to be and the rest of my family :). Thankyou all for your help getting me through all this would not have done it with out you ty all once again, hugs and cuddles to you all.:D
Good luck for ur wedding day i hope you have a fantastic time and thoroughly enjoy yourself

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