Donkey's journey to deal with disordered eating and lose 6 stone!

Fingers crossed it works the way NICE wants it to work! Lol yeah neurologists are amazing. I wish I were that clever!

I'm on a&e, just finished my 4th late shift in a row (4pm-1) then I have 3 night shifts to look forward to over the weekend. Bleurghh. Oh you know the exam I took the day after you finished yours? I failed spectacularly. That's £420 down the drain!

Don't worry about whatever the scales show on Tuesday - it's been totally out of your control!

What kind of job would you be after?

Quite! Fortunately my neuro is happy to continue under the rules of common sense until someone from the trust turns up to berate him lol.
Ooh A&E - always seems like there is something going on there, you must see some interesting stuff. I could never do those types of shifts though, aside from the impact on my migraines there is just no way I could maintain the level of focus you need. Do you enjoy it though?
Ughhh that must have made you sick. At least it wasn't a surprise - do you have to sit it again any time soon? That has to be the most expensive exam I've heard of!
Ehh, it's been out of my control but I had control over how much I was shovelling in my mouth lol. I feel pretty bad about it right now, feeling absolutely huge. I just need a job to get me through the year but reeeeally just don't want to do retail, had enough of that through uni! I know it's stupid but also I just have no confidence to go to job interviews right now, I can't stand how I look and feel and I feel like all people see is how big I am right now. Hopefully I'll start feeling better once I'm back on sw.
 
Well hello, sorry not been around. How you gettin on now? I'm back on plan today after 10 days off. Can't keep doing this yo yoing cycle, it's doin my head in.

Hope you're ok tho. I've deleted my diary so will come see how you're getting on on yours.


Hiya Rae Rae! How are you feeling now? A little less stressed? Super well done on getting back on plan - I know the yo yo business is brain frazzling but I'm glad you're back on the wagon because I'm going to use you as my inspiration to force myself back and force my gain soon! Terrified I've put literally all of it back on already! You keep coming back to it so you know you're doing something right :) Why did you delete your diary?

I'm still off plan, going home in the next few days though. I feel horrible about myself just now, think my depression might be rearing up a bit again so need to watch it. Saw myself in the mirror earlier and ugh. I just need to get a good chunk of this weight off. Don't know how much I've put on but a stone by Christmas should be doable - just have to get back on it.

How's all the stuff with the house and work going for you now?
 
Righto, well I missed WI today because once I got in I fell asleep on the sofa. Oops. However I am going to get back on plan from tomorrow. Going to make a plan for food this week and try to stick to it! Need to get a lot of frozen veg in tomorrow if I can and I've just found out that the McCains ready baked jackets which I love for taste and ease are only 1 syn each, so going to stock up on those! Also found out that the gluten free bread which I've been using as my hexb is 4.5 syns a slice! I knew it wasn't a real healthy extra but at almost 5 syns a slice I might have to chuck that one in!
It'll be nice to get back on track!
 
Back on track! I had been compiling a birthday parcel for a school friend living in the US, mostly of sweets and chocolate she misses (including all the strawberry ones in a box of quality streets lol) until yesterday when I posted it so had lots of junk around! Fortunately I threw all of the leftovers away last night and did an online shop with Iceland for the first time for lots of frozen veg. That was around half ten and it was delivered today at 1.45 for free! Think I'll be using them again, super cheap way of filling the freezer! It's so full that I had to take a couple of bags out and bung them in the slow cooker with stock and hope for the best. Going to look up recipes for soup - not a huge fan, I think it goes back to my cambridge diet days and the packet soups, but I hear about speed soup a lot and it would be good for the colder weather to have chunky hot soup available as a free food whenever I feel like I need stodgy comfort! I looked up the syns in heinz tomato soup, one of the only soups I like - definitely need a lower alternative! I want to get over my way of thinking that soup isn't a real food because in the past I've lived on a sachet soup a day (outside of cambridge) and have had issues with the texture of some of them - hopefully I can find a recipe that will help with that.

I have yet to make a proper plan for food, will do that later but so far I've eaten ham salad with micro steam veg, a ton of grapes and a ham and cucumber sandwich (9 syns) with cherry tomatoes. I know I said I might need to lay off the bread but it had to come out of the freezer so it needs eating now (oh for the day someone invents reasonable priced gluten free bread!) and it's a better use of syns than junk food. Filled me up nicely too.

Logged in to sw online and it says that I haven't been to group in a while but if I go to a group before next week my access will continue. Well I can't go until Tuesday so I seriously hope my membership won't need restarting or anything. It's around 12 weeks so my countdown is probably expiring but I hope I won't have to pay to rejoin!
 
I'd highly recommend the slimming world little book of soups. It's brilliant! Great thing about soup though is that you can modify it as much as you like to get a good flavour and texture. Sometimes you just need a bit of written down inspiration!
 
I'd highly recommend the slimming world little book of soups. It's brilliant! Great thing about soup though is that you can modify it as much as you like to get a good flavour and texture. Sometimes you just need a bit of written down inspiration!

Just had a look at it on the website actually, think I might pick one up next week. I've added tinned tomatoes and baked beans to slow cooker to make it look and taste more appealing so I have to agree it's very versatile! Nearly knocked the whole thing off the counter trying to add seasonings- I get this thing called alice in wonderland syndrome, makes me feel like I'm super tall, shrinking and growing really quickly, things zooming in and out - tripped and went head first into the slow cooker lol. Just about saved the soup though lol.
Oooh and Timmi, look how close your bmi is to dropping a bracket! You're doing so so well!!!
 
Oh my gosh you have AIW syndrome? That's so so rare! Does it feel awful when it happens? Sorry I shouldn't find this so interesting especially since it's probably unpleasant for you :(

I can't wait to have a BMI less than 30 as I haven't had one since I was about 16 years old. 1.1kg to go! I don't have much hope though seeing as I've got to go out for a meal tomorrow - Nepalese food. I can't even look at the menu beforehand because they don't have a website :(
 
Oh my gosh you have AIW syndrome? That's so so rare! Does it feel awful when it happens? Sorry I shouldn't find this so interesting especially since it's probably unpleasant for you :(

I can't wait to have a BMI less than 30 as I haven't had one since I was about 16 years old. 1.1kg to go! I don't have much hope though seeing as I've got to go out for a meal tomorrow - Nepalese food. I can't even look at the menu beforehand because they don't have a website :(

Hmm no idea about Nepalese food but look at the long term - one meal isn't going to blow it and you'll still be well into the 20s by the time your wedding gets here, that 1.1 (love the accuracy btw lol) kg will be history! I'd assume boiled rice will be available as a free side, then find something that doesn't look cream based or smothered in oil? Enjoy it - you're totally on track to succeed anyway!

Haha you're actually the only person outside of my neuro patient buddies (that sounds super sad lol) I've ever mentioned it to to know what AIW syndrome is! It's not all that bad honestly. I mean, the first time it happened outside of the zooming in and out that a lot of kids get but grow out of, I genuinely thought I was going insane. I was lying in bed and I was the size of an insect and my arms had shrunk to tiny stubs out of my shoulders. It kept happening and I seemed to be ok so I just got used to it really. It happened every time I was taking topiramate of an evening and from talking to other migraine patients there is absolutely a link, although my neuro doubts it - there are so many of us it has happened to on that drug that there has to be a link. I actually grew to almost enjoy it because I knew I was safe and it would go.

What is scary is when I'm not expecting it and I suddenly end up tripping into the road because I'm walking along and my legs have stretched so far that I'm taller than the houses. It's difficult to coordinate your limbs at that point and you just have to try and concentrate on looking straight ahead and walking straight because otherwise you're all over the place and it's then that for me I have to give up. Total confusion if you let it so it's just a case of learning to handle it, but if I'm in pain anyway or having aura then it can be so disorientating that it's scary. I just avoid crowds as much as possible.
But a significant number of migraine patients get it so we like to commiserate with each other and see who has the most insane experiences with it now and then ;)

*this is going to make absolutely NO sense to anybody reading this who doesn't know what AIWS is* :p
 
Hey donkey, you're doin great. I think there's a sw soup that is supposed to taste like heinz tomato which involves a pickled onion, lol. Never tried it myself tho but may do as bought a soup maker yesterday :)
 
Hey donkey, you're doin great. I think there's a sw soup that is supposed to taste like heinz tomato which involves a pickled onion, lol. Never tried it myself tho but may do as bought a soup maker yesterday :)

Thanks RR :) I shall look that one up, although I am somewhat sceptical over the pickled onion :p A soup maker - sounds like a good way to get yourself to eat more of it, though I didn't know they actually existed!
Hope you're doing ok my lovely and not too stressed out!
 
So far today I've only had a ham and cucumber sandwich (9) with some cherry tomatoes. Lots of pain all over for some reason so it took ages to fall asleep then I was woken up at EIGHT AM by people at my door wanting to talk about the bible. That is not a good time to knock on anyone's door, let alone mine when I don't have to be rushing around to get to work. Went back to bed and dragged myself out only a little while ago to find out that it's my parents' anniversary of 27 years and I had no idea. Nobody seems to be bothered that I didn't know though, I guess other things have got in the way this year.
Going to do some planning of meals now. I never thought I'd be excited to see how much I've gained at a WI, but I am, because however much I am up from the last WI, I will almost certainly have had a really good loss this week given the extreme change in what I'm eating from the last month! Damage limitation!

Made some sugar free jelly last night and I'm tempted by it but I have a feeling it might be migraine fodder, so if I do eat it, it needs to taste bloody good!
 
Thanks RR :) I shall look that one up, although I am somewhat sceptical over the pickled onion :p A soup maker - sounds like a good way to get yourself to eat more of it, though I didn't know they actually existed!
Hope you're doing ok my lovely and not too stressed out![/QUOTE

I know, I can't stand pickled onions so can't imagine how it would taste but you never know, lol.

Soup maker - you whack it all in, choose your setting, chunky or smooth and leave it. Smooth soup only takes 21 minutes and chunky is 28.

Stressed....always, lol. Work is manic and completing the house sale next Fri so gettin things ready for moving :)
 
So today I have eaten a ham and cucumber sandwich (9), cherry tomatoes, jacket potato (1) with a vegetable bake concoction made from the soup, and sugar free orange jelly which is less than 1 syn for a serving. Definitely had loads of superfree today so that's pretty good. I really love the McCains jackets, I am far too lazy to wait for an hour for a potato in the oven but they are nice and fluffy and ready in 5 minutes. Feels good to be back on track.
 
Thanks RR :) I shall look that one up, although I am somewhat sceptical over the pickled onion :p A soup maker - sounds like a good way to get yourself to eat more of it, though I didn't know they actually existed!
Hope you're doing ok my lovely and not too stressed out![/QUOTE

I know, I can't stand pickled onions so can't imagine how it would taste but you never know, lol.

Soup maker - you whack it all in, choose your setting, chunky or smooth and leave it. Smooth soup only takes 21 minutes and chunky is 28.

Stressed....always, lol. Work is manic and completing the house sale next Fri so gettin things ready for moving :)

Things have moved so fast, chaotic times eh? Hopefully everything will have settled down soon, in time for Christmas maybe?! Are you on plan atm or taking a break to get through the crazy times?
 
I'm on plan but worrying about moving as I can only order my fridge on Fri so don't know when it'll be delivered so worried about food but sure I can work round it, fingers crossed, lol.
 
I'm on plan but worrying about moving as I can only order my fridge on Fri so don't know when it'll be delivered so worried about food but sure I can work round it, fingers crossed, lol.

Ooh well hopefully everything will go smoothly and they can deliver it quickly, trying to stay on plan without a fridge doesn't sound easy :/ I know in group a while back someone was staying somewhere with only a kettle for a while and people came up with a huge list of options but then again the idea of boiling an egg actually in a kettle doesn't sound very appealing does it?!



Just had a midnight omelette, peppers, onions and sweetcorn. Need to work out some free snacks- might try boiled eggs to keep in the fridge rather than having to actually put a dish together, not sure how long they keep or whether I will really like them just yet though lol. Just read something interesting that might explain my constant cravings for fizzy drinks - pepsi max specifically. Apparently craving soft drinks can indicate a lack of calcium and fizzy drinks just make it worse because they kind of leach off the phosphate in the bones. Since I have very very little calcium if I'm not concentrating on beans and dark veggies I might have to make an effort to increase it - my pepsi max habit can't be healthy!
 
Ooh well hopefully everything will go smoothly and they can deliver it quickly, trying to stay on plan without a fridge doesn't sound easy :/ I know in group a while back someone was staying somewhere with only a kettle for a while and people came up with a huge list of options but then again the idea of boiling an egg actually in a kettle doesn't sound very appealing does it?!

Just had a midnight omelette, peppers, onions and sweetcorn. Need to work out some free snacks- might try boiled eggs to keep in the fridge rather than having to actually put a dish together, not sure how long they keep or whether I will really like them just yet though lol. Just read something interesting that might explain my constant cravings for fizzy drinks - pepsi max specifically. Apparently craving soft drinks can indicate a lack of calcium and fizzy drinks just make it worse because they kind of leach off the phosphate in the bones. Since I have very very little calcium if I'm not concentrating on beans and dark veggies I might have to make an effort to increase it - my pepsi max habit can't be healthy!

Boiling an egg in a kettle?!

Think my soup maker will come in handy :)

Why don't you take a multi vit, see if that helps.
 
Boiling an egg in a kettle?!

Think my soup maker will come in handy :)

Why don't you take a multi vit, see if that helps.

Yeah it didn't appeal to me either - I'm sure you'll come up with some better ideas to survive without a fridge :p
I probably will take a multi vit in the end, I just try to avoid taking more pills even if they are just vitamins - I take around 20 a day as it is and I'm rattling lol.
 
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